A
female
age
26-29,
Dear Krissi
writes:Going back to the 20th century, the only means to discover that your partner was cheating on you, was by fishing through his wallet to check if he had a woman’s number written on a piece of paper… Or… when you would call him at home and his mother told you that he has been out with Amanda, or Melanie, for the past sixty minutes.Today, with our advanced technology, one could easily discover whether his partner is having a romantic dinner with Amanda or enjoying the day off at the beach with Melanie … Therefore, this makes it tempting for you to check your partner’s personal data, such as his Facebook messages, emails, and so on… But how far can you go? Is it “legal” to rifle through his personal data? Your partner replies late to your messages: Never assume that he is cheating on you just because he doesn’t reply immediately. He could be working, he could be resting, he could be studying, he could be helping his parents, and he could be planning a surprise to you…Remember that you cannot be possessive, but he needs his own space, hence, he cannot keep in touch with you every second of the day, because he has other priorities to take care of. If you have a concern about this issue, it is advised that you discuss it with your partner, to clear things out, but never check his private data without his consent, to check whether he has been cheating on you. This could break the special bond in your relationship and he might start looking at you from a different perspective, and you wouldn’t want that to happen, would you?Put yourself in your partner’s shoes… would you feel comfortable if your significant other checked your private data without your concern? Do you think it would be fair if he read your private conversations with your best friend or read your private emails?Your partner doesn’t stop using his mobile phone when he is with you: How is your relationship with your significant other? Does your relationship have a lack of trust or communication? Does he check his phone very often when he’s with you? A lot of individuals, especially adolescents, are, “addicts” (unfortunately, let’s use that word) on their mobile phone, thus they wouldn’t spend a minute without checking their Facebook or their Instagram account. This doesn’t mean that he/ she doesn’t love you or is cheating on you, but nowadays, social media has become very popular that a number of people are getting “obsessed” with the number of followers (including “likes” and comments) that they have on their accounts, hence, the minute they are free, you see them tapping on their smartphone. Moreover, some of them like to upload photos to show their friends what they are doing/ eating/ drinking or where they are…If this is bothering you, make sure that you discuss it with your partner because he might not be aware of his “childish” behaviour, thus he would try to focus more on your relationship rather than his social media accounts.If your partner receives a lot of messages or calls while being with you, try to understand what is going on in his/her life… He could be working on an important project at work, thus his colleagues are making contact with him to make him aware of new ideas or asking him questions or something might be going on in your partner’s life which he might be not ready to share it with you yet..Your partner might tell you “Samantha just messaged me about tomorrow’s meeting” or “I have to meet Becky tomorrow to give her the Spanish notes that she’s missed”. Don’t worry; nobody’s going to steal your partner from you. Just because a woman messaged him about a meeting or a classmate will meet him to get the notes that she’s missed, doesn’t mean that there is something wrong going on between him and those women.Imagine if it was the other way round and a friend of yours, who is a male, offers to give you the notes you’ve missed, how would you feel if your significant other believed that something is going on between you and your classmate?Be thankful. Be thankful that your partner is being honest with you rather than doing everything behind your back.Trust plays a very crucial role in a relationship; hence it is important to share your thoughts and problems with each other rather than doing something behind one’s back. If you believe that your significant other is leading a double life, make sure that you have evidence before assaulting him/her and remember; there’s plenty of fish in the sea.
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