This whole situation is so messed up!

A female age 30-35, *os writes:

This is kinda LONG. But please i need some advice So ive known this guy 3 years.. (i ask a question refering to what specifically happened between us so im gunna brief you) So he always like me.. Even when i started dating my boyfriend he was saying that he really like me, when i broke up with my ex, he was there for me.. big time, always listening to my problem, when he got into a relationship, i initially wasnt interested, but when i started seeing the way she treated him (really bad, and abusive at times, not major, but still bad) I started getting feelings for him because he was like my ace boom coon, partner in crime and i was b#@%h y are you treating him like that, he has never done anything to you.. us 3 (him, his girl and i) would always be around each other, but because me and him were always together in public, people thought we were dating. He introduced to me to her.. and for a long time without me knowing she didnt like me. Her friend would tell me and her that she though he liked me.. and would tell him they think i liked him (trffling, i know) So january this year while they were dating, we started sleeping together and it lasted 3 months.. but during this time, he was trying to break up with her for me, but i never allowed him. I would always say that i didn't love him like that when i really did. I really don't understand why i did that, my feeling wern't really involved until the night were he didnt want to have sex, he just wanted to cuddle and talk. IT seemed like everytime i told him i didnt like him, he would retaliate by saying he didnt like me either and he wouldnt ever leave her for me.. but would constantly try to be with me. ask me questions like 'if i didnt have prior constraints would you be with me' I said no :(... Anyway.. i found out that he cheated on her before, but only slept with the girl once.. but like i said she is crazy so i dont know if i can blame him.. And when i found out i felt like this was te perfect oppurtunity to tell her so i could be with him.. but i never told him my plan... but we both told her.. and after she said she still wanted to b with him.. him being a very passive guy.. he was like ok.. When he told her he cheated on her the first time.. she packed her bags and left... and while she was gone, him talked to his best friend and said he was just waiting for her to break up with him. i put that in mind and new it was the oppurtunity.. tell her the truth, make her believe that he liked me.. which is what i did.. (the dumbest thing i could ever do) it looked more like i was trying to place blame on him and n the end i ended up telling her a whole lot infront of our other mutual friends.. And when she was shouting at him for cheating on her the 2nd time.. he asked for the key to his appt.. and was telling his bff that he hoped she didnt break his stuff while she was packing. But she came bk and sent me a letter stating that he loved her and that if he didnt he would be with me n that he just wanted to *have sex with* me and that he slept with the other girl so he obviously thought i was a hoe bc he was still with her. Even though i know it wasnt true it made me so mad. I know i should have just said i loved him and that i couldnt help it.. he would have followed and said the same thing.. but i didnt i loooked like his enemy because i was really exposing him. The next day came and after replying to her message with nothnig but apologize she sent another one which explained that i was sick and twisted for really trying to make it seem like i did nothing wrong and that she would never leave him. i was trying to get her to leave him but i took blame for what i did. I was trying to expose him so she would break up with him and still be able to remain cool with her. From outside looking in, you would think me and her were the best of friends and he ws the guy i betrayed her trust with.. this is the same gurl that was fake to my face and talking mad stuff behind my back for who knows how long and remained a devoted friend.. have never in my life had a stresfull friendship until i met her... him on the other hand has had my back for as long as i can remember and always helped me out when i needed him. With my and his relationship, we get mad at eachother and may stop talking for 2 days and some time 7.. its never been more than 9 days... its stupid but yh.. but its been 2 weeks and i dont know if he will ever talk to me again because i sent him a disusting message saying i hated him and that he wasnt worth it.. and he was a whimp.. also that id kill him if he ever came near me alot more stuff, i mean it was really really bad.. I WAS JUST SOOO MAD WHEN HE SENT ME A MESSAGE THAT MISENTURPETED . He called me a bitch in the message, and even though we always call each other stuff like that, it mad me mad bc i thought he would never talk to again (irrational i know) So now 2 weeks later ive sent him messages apologizing, and asking him if he'd ever talk to me again 4 IN TOTAL.. Bc i know i hurt him, but he wont talk to me.. even when we see eachother, we just pass eachother by. He was my first friend in this country and now i feel like because of my stupid ass, he wont ever talk to me. I also have never told him how i felt. never. Its killing me to know that i may have lost my best friend and sole mate.. bc we are exactly the same.. bday on the same day and everyting.. our lifes are even the same.. both grew up in cities both came as a second oppurtunity to salvage our lives ALOT OF STUFF, we even think the same thing!!! its crazy and now i dont know if he will ever talk to me again

View related questions: best friend, broke up, my ex

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A female reader, fishdish  +, writes (16 May 2010):

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