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This older married woman is giving me mixed signals. Do I persist or finish the relationship?

Tagged as: Cheating, Crushes, Friends, Gay relationships, Three is a crowd, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (1 September 2012) 4 Answers - (Newest, 1 September 2012)
A female United Kingdom age 41-50, *ngeleyes32 writes:

hi, well i made friends with this woman who is older then me. we got really close.

She is married but they dont get on at all i never get a straight answer from her.

One day she is ok, saying 'I love you' then next she just doesn't seem to care what do i do. I'm always left confused.

She says she wants to be with me, but 'just let me sort out her husband'

We have kissed and touched each other. i just don't know what to do.

Carry on with her or finish this relationship with her?

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A female reader, Atsweet1 United States +, writes (1 September 2012):

Atsweet1 agony auntIf I was you I would find someone else because she has decided.

She is married and creeping with you.

Don't be in the middle, let them work it out. You could be being used for sex or whatever but if all parties dont know about each other that could lead to bad stuff happening Warning Warning

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (1 September 2012):

Honeypie agony auntSince she is married, my advice would be to end it. It really doesn't matter if she is happy in her marriage or not, what she is doing is wrong. Wrong towards you and her husband. No one wins from this.

Find a woman who isn't married, who is truly single and able to meet your needs.

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States +, writes (1 September 2012):

So_Very_Confused agony auntare you ok being party to a woman who is a liar and a cheat and helping her do so?

I"m sorry but if a person is unhappy in their marriage they either need to fix the marriage, leave the marriage or open the marriage...

IF she is not going to do any of the above then all she i doing is USING you to feed her needs....

I was in a not great marriage... we were open so my affair was sanctioned and known... my marriage ended and my 13 year younger than I am "friend" is marrying me in five weeks...

you tell her to fish or cut bait...

unless you are happy being her boy toy... oh and are willing to run the risk of her husband naming you as a party of the divorce due to adultery... even if you have not slept with her you can be named as a party causing alienation of affection....

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A female reader, AuntyEm United Kingdom +, writes (1 September 2012):

AuntyEm agony auntWhat are your expectations of the future of this relationship.

Is it a long term prospect?

Is it just a temporary bit of company?

Are you prepared to support her through divorce?

Are you prepared to deal with the backlash if her husband finds out?

Will the confusing signals ever stop?

Does she really care about you?

Lot of questions over it arn't there?

If she wants you to wait in the wings whilst she sorts her life out, you could be waiting forever!

Is it worth it? Is she worth it?

Only when you weigh it all up and decide what has the highest value will you be able to reach a decision.

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