A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:The last two relationships, well I say relationships, they didn't get past the dating stage, failed because of the same reasons. Both said I make them feel a bit nervous and insecure. I'm a bit worried about this now that both give me the same reason. What am I doing wrong? How can I make someone feel this way?Both also wanted to stay in touch with me, so it can't be something they really dislike about me. Any ideas?
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 December 2013): Hi, I posted the question. I never criticized them, spoke about ex's, acted jealous or any of them things. I complimented them genuinely. I am still in touch with one of them as friends. She said she found me utterly beautiful and was convinced I constantly get approached by women so she ended it rather than go through the pain of me dumping her.
A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (8 December 2013):
 Did you not ask them WHY they felt that way? Because we can all guess.
What did you do on the dates? And how did you "play" it? Were the girls someone you knew or "fresh" off a dating site?
My suggestion is, if you have any female friends ASK them what they think.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 December 2013): Well, I'm 23, and my ex-boyfriend made ME feel nervous and insecure.
I will tell you why and then you can decide if these things apply to you.
1. He was very insecure, especially when I talked to guys. Even if I just said "hi" to a guy I knew from work, my ex would be like "who's that guy" in an accusatory way. After enough of those experiences I just stopped talking to other guys, and if my ex asked if I had seen a certain guy friend at work (strictly friends btw, I had never dated/slept with anyone before my ex) I would just lie about it. (I had never lied about anything before and I NEVER even thought about cheating, flirting or anything like that during our 1-year relationship). So, basically, his insecurity was what made me nervous.
2. He talked about his exes a lot. Maybe some people are okay with this, but I was definitely not. By the time I asked him to stop, the damage had already been done. I knew all about them, their relationships, what he had liked about them, what went wrong, what they looked like, blah blah blah. That made me very insecure. (Especially since one of them was actually in the MIss USA pageant…ugh).
3. He was very critical. Of everything. We lived together for a bit and nothing was ever good enough for him. If I cleaned something I was bound to miss a spot, if I cooked something I was bound to forget an ingredient. Now, I've been that way my whole life and it had never been an issue for me, but with him he would always make a big deal out of it and I always felt like I wasn't good enough. So that definitely made me nervous and insecure.
Those are the three things I could think of, and if you do any of them maybe you should work on it.
Those were definitely enough reasons for me to break up with my ex…along with the fact that he was really selfish in bed…anyway, good luck! hope this helped!
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (7 December 2013):
 Tell us a whole lot more..... WHAT sort of details were you able to discern from what they told you? What details could you NOT figure?????
As well.... tell us something about the ladies involved. Were they Nuns from a local order? or, were they escorts or hookers?????
Those sorts of details will help us to give you spot-on replies which will allow you to either:
1. Resurrect what was going on with these babes, or,
2. Tell you that you are wasting your time with them... and need to get on to a couple more of DIFFERENT babes.... WHICH, incidentally, we can - if you like - tell you the sort that you ought to go after.....
Waiting....
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A
female
reader, TasteofIndia +, writes (7 December 2013):
 Not a lot to go on here...
Do you seem like you have a lot of experience with other women? Do you give off an air of popularity and flirtatiousness with others? Do you consider yourself a confident man?
Do you compliment the women you date? Is it sincere, or do you delve out a lot of lines? Do you maybe move too fast for them, and they feel nervous and pressured by you? Or maybe you seem too aloof and they're worried you're not very interested.
Maybe give a little more information, and you'll get more thorough opinions. At least they told you what the issue was! Now you can do some reflecting and correct whatever vibes you're giving off...
Good luck!
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (7 December 2013):
 They like you, and feel you are fun to date but in relationships they worry you would leave them for someone else better if you are out of their league. You can be sincere and doing all the right things and women can still feel insecure, and that's their problem if they wouldn't give you a try. There's not a lot of information to go on so my answer is general. So I don't know if you should keep on being yourself or do you have to up your game such as sounding you really want to settle down with someone.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 December 2013): Very little info here. Did you comment somehow on their looks ? Or did you act somewhat superior to them?
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