A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:I've been married to my new husband for 6 weeks now. When we first met, he was kind, loving and caring towards me - but now he's changed.At the wedding he ranted about everything - and about everyone at the wedding and in the wedding speech. I should also add that we have a young son (4 years old).I asked him why he did it, and he said he was stressed, so I forgave him.We went on honeymoon, and he didn't rant at all for the entire 2 weeks.When we came back however - he changed, he began ranting about everything and anything.Now he won't stop ranting about everything and anything, no matter what the topic, he even ranted about sex when I tried to initiate a night of passion with him, he was ranting about my underwear not being good enough, and everything.I tried to talk to him about his ranting, but he insisted that "everyone needs to rant" and there was nothing wrong with it, and he kept refusing to discuss the issue.He just won't stop ranting....so I moved back in with my parents until he gave up. He ranted about every single thing, no matter who it is or what it was - and it was embarrassing to be with him.He now phones me, continually ranting about trying to get me to come back to him. He promised he wouldn't rant again.I'm not sure if I should go back to him - as I worry he'll rant again what do I do?
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male
reader, Boonridge McPhalify +, writes (10 May 2008):
 how long were you together before marriage?
long enough to know that this is a change from his real character (over a year or two)/ short enough for him to hide this bahviour and divert all the rants onto anyone else but you?
he sounds like a dose, and his grinding, bullying, wearing behaviour will begin to spoil your mental state and drag you down. people who complain too much are a big no-no in my book and get as far away as possible if you can...
A
female
reader, dearkelja  + ♥, writes (10 May 2008):
 I wonder if the pressure of marriage is getting to him and causing this stressed out reaction of ranting. I think he needs to come clean about what is really going on because if he was able to live rant free before, something is causing this. And it is not normal.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 May 2008): A chronic complainer. Gah seriously that sounds obnoxious. In most instances from what I've read its an attention and empathy seeking tacticI've been looking around a bit for you trying to dig up some tips for dealing with chronic complainingChange the subject or redirect his attentionTry and get him to laugh, tell a joke don't laugh at him but say something funnyExpress sympathy w/out sarcasm: Oh that sounds awful, how do you deal with all these problems? (I couldn't pull this off, I always sound sarcastic no matter what I am saying!)You can set times, let him know the limits, set aside specific time to listen to him at that time show interest (don't complain with him) just give him the satisfaction of being listened tooIts okay to disagree if he's complaining about your panties, say well I happen to like themApparently you can give your hubby difficult things to do that would make use of that critical mind of his :-P I think it'd be quite nice to put that man to work lolIt seems a bit rude but when he's complaining they say you can hold up a mirror or better video tape it so they can see how ridiculous they are beingComplainer tend to be egocentric and self-centered open his eyes get him to read the paper of magazines to see what's going on with the world, maybe even suggest volunteering with like a soup kitchen, so he'll see people who have it worse, it helps build compassionIf he complains about how you cook and clean swap chores with him for awhileI hope something here will help you dear. Apparently therapy can cure them, it takes years and dedication though and he doesn't seem to acknowledge the problem
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A
female
reader, BigSis + ♥, writes (10 May 2008):
 OH WOW!!! That was some rant!
I don't wish to appear rude ~ but are his rants contagious by any chance? But then again, {and I'm hoping for your sake}, that you don't in real life rant the way you type, 'couse if you do, then I'm afraid you've caught it...or were you demonstrating the art of his rant?
Geeez! He must have driven you nuts.
Short of gagging him, I can't suggest anything, I'm sorry babe, but good luck from me.
Rant over.
BigSis
xXx
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