A
female
age
30-35,
*opelessinloove
writes:I'l try keep it short.Theres a guy at college who I met when i started there, it was instant chemistry on both sides, constant flirting etc.We finally went out for dinner a few months later, and we had such an amazing time. we go on so well, lots of flirting, he walked me home, he kept suggesting we should do it again.I text him the next day to see how college was going and my bank details to give transfer me the money he said he would. he seemed a bit distant on the text. the next day i was in, i spoke to him but he was again distant.Its been a few weeks and we dont even speak anymore because i didnt talk to him since he hadn't paid me half of the money back for our dinner that he promised he would.I sent a text a few weeks ago telling him i think he's so wrong in how hes treated me and why he's not paying me back. At college today, people have been getting invovled and saying 'you need to sort it out!' and trying to get us speaking. He's been saying i havent spoke to him thats why he hasnt spoke to me, yet in my eyes its the other way round. He did get involved in my conversation today and answered something that someone asked about me.I know i should not waste my time on someone who's going to be iffy about paying me money back and stuff. But i generally know there is something there, and i feel like everything has got all misunderstood between us. I dont want to let something go which could be great, but i know he wont make the first move, but if i do i'm going to look desprate. I'm not depserate , i even have a date next week, which he found out about today.how can i sort it out? It makes me so sad seeing him around everyday and just walking past each other like strangers :(
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male
reader, dylan co +, writes (10 February 2013):
Did you insist on payment of bank transfer or did he?As I guy I would feel ashamed at not being able to have money, but I would be put off at bank transfer instead of getting the next meal/date if that first date was promising.Maybe he is simply a douche or simply very poor. Either way you need communication.
A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (10 February 2013):
 It's very odd that he promised to repay you via bank transfer. Is it too much trouble to withdraw money from a bank, or treat you dinner at another time? Possibility is that he is either really broke or he got a free meal from you but did not want you to think he's a freeloader, hence the promise. I don't believe a college student can't afford to eat. Then he blamed the non communication on you. He's just cheap. He used his flirting as currency for the presumed date, then vanished when you literally asked for money back, as friends. He created a situation where there is no going back as friends and it's entirely his fault.
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A
female
reader, R1 +, writes (9 February 2013):
 Sounds like this didnt go well from the start - he went out for dinner and didnt bring enough money to pay for himself let alone both of you (like a true gent). I'm not surprised you didn't work out if its been about money from the start. I'd cut your losses and assume you won't see that money again. The guy is a loser.
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