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age
51-59,
anonymous
writes: Hello, I have a bit of a dilemma. I have been talking to a guy online and we have really good conversations. He told me he is a bit shy and I told him I am too. He told me that he likes my photos a lot and he looks at them quite often. He compliments me telling me I am beautiful and that he would be afraid to approach a beautiful woman like me. I told him I would feel the same about him. He said if he was near me we could get a cup of coffee. He is not very far away from me. Some of our talks are sexual and he is very attracted to me as I am him.When he comes online he will say some different things each time. For instance, "Hi baby girl, Hi beautiful, Hi love." So I usually respond with, "Hi Sweetheart." Well he acts a little strange sometimes and when our talks wind down I assume that he will stay on and chat more. He just goes offline and doesn't say goodnight or anything. One night we were talking and he got really excited about me, as I did him and he went offline, I waited a few minutes and then he came back on and messaged me. He told me he wants me so bad and wants to make love to me. I have tried not to take anything online too seriously. But this really bothers me. Recently, he came on and I didn't even know he was on, and it had said he came online about and hour before I did. So I pretty much waited for him while I checked my other messages. He messaged me by saying, "Hi love" and then he stayed on for about 10 minutes, I said, "Hi love" back to him and told him that I was sorry we missed each other and that I had posted a new photo. He didn't respond and went offline again. What do you think is wrong with him? I need some advice. Please help.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Ciar  + ♥, writes (23 December 2013):
 You're very welcome. Best of luck. :)
And thanks for the follow up.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 December 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks everyone for the advice. And his behavior is very odd.
There is a possibility that he might be married, even though
his profile says that he is single. Some of the men online lie about a lot of things, so I guess I have to consider that.
So if he contacts me again I will ask him to see what he says.
Otherwise, I will just look for a new guy to talk to.
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A
female
reader, Ciar + ♥, writes (22 December 2013):
He may be shy but he is certainly rude to just up and leave a conversation without excusing himself. This is not how adults behave.
I wouldn't waste any more time with this one. He may not be a terrible guy, but you want someone who is already housebroken. Not someone you have to teach the basics to.
If he had spent as much time in the real world as he apparently has in the virtual one, he'd have picked up a few things along the way.
I don't trust him.
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A
female
reader, janniepeg +, writes (22 December 2013):
 You both had mentioned about meeting for coffee so the last conversation was supposed to be about that because it's pointless to just talk about sex and not do it. For some reason he changed his mind. When that happens to me I just look for the next guy without analyzing much. He's a weirdo. If he can call you love without meeting you he can be calling other women that too.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 December 2013): Sorry to tell you this but to me his behaviour sounds like a married man....Sudden silences online, logging off quickly without finishing the conversation properly, not responding to your message in a timely way etc all indicate that there are times when he has to hide what he's doing e.g when his wife or child have just walked into the room and he has to pretend he's doing something else.Okay, so this might also happen if he usually communicates with you from work (he may be distracted by a telephone call or a colleague) but that would make me wonder why he was contacting you from work and not from home....His behaviour could also mean that he is "multi-tasking" i.e carrying on multiple online conversations simultaneously with other women and when he comes to an "exciting" part of one of the other convos he goes silent.Has this guy actually suggested that you meet up rather that just expressing an opinion that "it might be nice"? Guys who are serious about dating will usually want to meet up and will make an effort to do so (even if they are shy). Guys who not serious about dating will not make this effort - they will profess to want it but they won't actually take deliberate steps to organise it. They'll be vague about when they can manage it, they'll put dates off until they're "less busy", they'll cancel at the last minute and not rearrange etcEither way I don't think this guy is after much except sex (whether real or virtual)
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