A
female
age
36-40,
*lapure4
writes:Dear Cupid, For the past 3 1/2 months, I've been involved in a LDR with a man I met at a speed dating event. The type of relationship we've had, has been one of intense passion, adoration, respect and honesty. It definitely wasn't something we both bargained for or wished for upon meeting; it sort of evolved into something very real. Overtime, we've spoken on the phone, Skyped, sent letters, videos/texts, etc in order to keep our relationship alive. And I can't lie. Even though its hard most days not physically being with him, I've learned that its made me love him more for who he is and visa versa. In the beginning, his love for me was on a much deeper level where after only a month of talking, he was already saying that I was the one. It startled me a bit because I had never known any man to profess his love to me in that way, so soon, but I reminded him of how we needed to take things slow for our own good. We've demonstrated this and are now on an even plateau when it comes to LD dating. I plan on visiting him next month for 6 days and it'll be wonderful I think. It will be our first, real time together since the speed dating event and we've played out different scenarios for that first day in particular. We both feel that meeting up, going on a date and having sex potentially is sufficient. But he's said that he wants to make love to me as soon as he sees me. I think waiting is the best policy and even though sex has weighed heavily on my mind, I'm almost tempted to follow his lead. Once I see him, my yearning for him will be through the roof! My question is for you is do you think I should wait to have sex with my boyfriend the first night we're together, or should I wait until the next day or several days? Thank you!
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (23 December 2013):
 I would wait till the next visit. You met him once at a speed dating event. you really don't know how you will get on IRL.
LDR has a way of making even the worst soul look good.
I did LDR with my now husband for a year...once we were intimate it was way harder to be apart.
besides if you have sex on day one... and it doesn't work out you have 5 more days to be with him....
I had an LDR guy I met online once come to vist me for 4 days... by day 3 we knew it wasn 't going to work but we managed a nice visit anyway. OH well... live and learn
I just think if you sleep with him the pressure to make it work if it's not meshing may be overly strong.
I vote for waiting.
A
male
reader, DoubleM +, writes (22 December 2013):
 In my opinion, it's always a good idea for a young woman to refrain for a reasonable time, but I'm grateful that many of the girls I met in all my years were very adventurous. Times are a bit different today, perhaps.
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