A
female
age
36-40,
*enders
writes:After asking for answer and help on a few websites. I reach the conclusion that I have to ditch all my ex’s stuff in order to let go. Also, not to mention my father is coming to London to stay with me. I don’t want my dad seeing all the men stuff in my house – that’s going to cause me trouble!!!I got quite a bit of his cloth, not expensive ones but just casual cloth. A GIANT teddy bear and a few other small stuff toys. I also got a Creative MP3 player and silver chain and also cards and letters. I really loved him but he is stating LDR isn’t working so I have to let go I suppose.Although all his stuff is in a bin bag and in the closet – I still feel odd. I use the MP3 everyday but I treat electronic as an object not something attaches to him.My sister wants me to throw them away to charity shops and sell the MP3 and silver chain on eBay. I also have the option of giving all these to his friend and he will pass it on.
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 October 2007): take me as you find me but you are a foreign lady in england no one here is set in stone we all have our things and you will find that out the longer you stay here. but one thing convinced me you must make sure all the things are yours to give away and as a long time in buisness you need that epecially clearing up
A
female
reader, wenders +, writes (28 October 2007):
wenders is verified as being by the original poster of the question well the whole break up is complicate...
((read my past question and its all there..... :S
and i do not know if he want it back or not.
but since he havent asked...im thinking maybe its okay to keep it.
even i dont want to.
i just asked his friends and he say its okay i leave it in his flat.
until things are sort out between me and ex.
(either return to him or i keep it somewhere)
((well i really dont want to upset my dad he isnt keen with me having boyfriend.
((dad is quite stressed recently so to keep him happy i wont show him the stuff.
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A
female
reader, JaffaZ  +, writes (28 October 2007):
 Try to find out if he wants it back. If he does, give it to his friend to pass it on. If he doesn't want it back, then sell the MP3 and sivler chain on ebay, and give the rest to charity. Unless you want the MP3 - personally I also see that as just an object. You could probably keep that one. I don't think there's anything wrong with keeping one or two small items of his. I've kept things from past boyfriends before, and was able to let go of my feelings for them eventually, despite keeping something they'd given me.
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 October 2007): before you do anything at all with his things make sure he doesnt want them back . he maybe just be in a mood after the break up and is saying things he doesnt mean. give him one week to collect his things if he hasnt then you are free to do with them as you wish whether that be keep it flog it or give it to charity the choice is yours. and if your dad comes to stay with you before you get his answer just keep it locked away in the closet or the loft until he goes again and then do what you need to do, but make sure before you do anything you have got your facts right as you could be branded a thief if you have given it away and he wants it back i hope this helps and good luck
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A
male
reader, dapone 1 +, writes (28 October 2007):
 Dear Wenders.
Your sister is wrong, if the MP3 player and the chain do not have sentimental value then hang onto them, if you receive pleasure from using them.
I think the correct thing to do with the clothes is pass them onto his friend, when the clothes are returned then you both know the relationship is rely over, and that will give you both closure.
And as for your dad, he should know at your age, and living in London on your own ( i would not live there) that you are a mature and responsible person, and if he gives you problems then maybe you should ask him to stay some where else, because you do not need to be arguing with your dad , after all he is a guest in your home and must abide by your rules, do not let him bully you.
hope this help you, good luck.
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 October 2007): Your sister is right. Give some to charity and ebay the rest. Or just give the lot to charity and hope someone can benefit from them. Does he really not want them back? If not then get rid, what are you waiting for!!!???
take care
xx
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A
female
reader, Variety +, writes (28 October 2007):
 I would give them back to him. Do it through his friends so you don't have to see him if it would be too painfull. They are technically still his things so he should decide what to do with them. Especially the clothes and the mp3 player. Things he bought as a present for you during the relationship are different. Bin them or sell them on ebay etc. But only if you are sure that you are not getting back together. That could be awkward. You could always box them up in your loft for a bit if throwing them away is too hard right now.
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A
male
reader, kenny + ♥, writes (28 October 2007):
 Has your Ex boyfriend said to that he does not want his things any more then?. If he does not want any of it back and its ok for you to keep it all then maybe try to sell some of it. Ebay is a good one, i often stick things on here that i don't want anymore. Another idea would be put a few of the larger things in the local paper, in the small adds. But if you don't want the hassel of doing this then i suppose the easiest option would be to pass all the stuff on to him mate.
Good luck x
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