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Since he didn't try to hold my hand or anything should I assume he isn't interested?

Tagged as: Friends, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (22 June 2009) 5 Answers - (Newest, 23 June 2009)
A female United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

So I met someone on Facebook. We have mutual friends and both go to the same college. We started talking a lot online and eventually it led to him asking for my number. He flirted with me a little through text and we exchanged questions about each other's lives. And.. after a little over a week of texting we planned to hang out. We talked a lot through text however the few days before we hung out we didn't talk as often. Also-- when he texts me it's only later in the evening. Anyways.. he was the one who asked to hang out. He lives about an hour away from me and he came into my town and we had dinner went to a few stores and then to a movie. He acted nervous in the beginning of our "hang out" (so was i!) but it got better.The conversation flowed and he smiled a lot. The only thing is.. he didn't hug me goodbye or anything like that. It was sort of awkward because I had driven us to the places we went since we were in my town and he wasn't familiar with it. So I just drove him to his car..

He's told me he's really shy and so am I. After the hang out I texted him to say I enjoyed the hang out and said we should do it again. He said he felt the same way and said "see you soon".

Anyways, would a guy drive an hour to meet someone he hasn't ever met before if he wasn't interested? Since he didn't try to hold my hand or anything should I assume he isn't interested? He hasn't said anything else to me since Friday when he said he'd like to hang out again. What do yall think?!

View related questions: facebook, flirt, shy, text

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A reader, anonymous, writes (23 June 2009):

I don't think it's really safe to ASSUME anything, honestly. Lucky for us, we're humans and therefor get to speak!

He may have felt it was a little too quick to start moving in on you quite yet or he may have just felt too shy. He did tell you he's shy afterall.

Give it a little more time. And if you can muster up the courage, just ask him what he thinks of you. That way, if he likes you, you're on cloud nine and if he doesn't, your hopes aren't up for next time.

~SY.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (23 June 2009):

Honeypie agony auntBe glad that he was honest about it. Sometimes when we met someone new sparks fly. Other times you get the whole flipping fireworks and again at times it's just "nice".

Body language can tell you a lot, but again each person is different.

Be glad you have the guts to ask him. Second guessing and over analyzing will drive you nuts.

Good luck fishing :)

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A reader, anonymous, writes (23 June 2009):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Well thank you very much for the advice! I only wish it were correct in my situation. I bit the bullet and asked if he was interested in us getting to know each other better and he said no.. only in a friend situation now.

Hmm.. rejection sucks! However, I totally misread him! To me, he gave me a pretty good indication that he was at least a LITTLE bit interested. I mean.. why would you drive an hour and a half to meet someone you want to be friends with? Ehh.. maybe the chemistry for him was off.

:( How well.. other fish in the sea, I suppose.

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A male reader, dc.ryan United Kingdom +, writes (22 June 2009):

dc.ryan agony auntI wouldn't worry about a thing, if he wasn't interested - he wouldn't of talked to you as actively as he did before meeting up and he wouldn't of driven across town to spend time with you.

You're over analysing his behaviour; he was just very nervous - and on a first meet up, where you've gone to just texting and Facebook messages to actually physically meeting someone is a big step. You never know quite how you're going to greet or say good bye; perhaps he feared rejection if he went to hug you or hold your hand?

People are also confident online, they show their true personalities usually - physically meeting people is a totally different ball game and it takes time to adjust to someones company; especially if there is a special bond building between you both.

Keep in touch, arrange another meet - and this time, perhaps suggest through your own body language that it is OK to actually touch you and hold your hand or say good bye. Someone has to jump in and from what you've explained, it is unlikely to be him - in fear of messing something up.

Good luck and take care!

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A male reader, abc93 United Kingdom +, writes (22 June 2009):

hey, i honestly think you have nothing to worry about. If he has been texting you and saying use should meet up then decide whether he is interested. As for him not holding your hand, i really wouldnt worry, epspcially as he told you he is shy. Maybe he was bit too scared or worried. But i think if use go out few times then your gona be fine. hope my opinion has helped, and good luck :) x

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