New here? Register in under one minute   Already a member? Login244961 questions, 1084299 answers  

  DearCupid.ORG relationship advice
  Got a relationship, dating, love or sex question? Ask for help!Search
 New Questions Answers . Most Discussed Viewed . Unanswered . Followups . Forums . Top agony aunts . About Us .  Articles  . Sitemap
*c.ryan agony aunt

*c.ryan

United Kingdom  (Male   XML/RSS

Like what he writes?
... Add *c.ryan to your favourite agony aunts

Want to get in touch?
... Send *c.ryan a private message

*c.ryan's Ratings
Excellent75%
Average11%
Poor14%
*c.ryan's profile:

Hello I am Ryan :)

I am very caring, understanding individual who always has an open ear to anyone that needs it. I've always been interested in helping people with their social/life problems, and like to think I can provide good caring advice with the ability to truly understand the situation and offer a viable answer to the problem. I love to see I've made a difference to people, and enjoy the feelings I gain from helping others - going off my life experience, and general personal feelings on the situation.

I live all the way down in sunny Cornwall in the UK, where I spend most of my time with my beautiful partner. I love anything to do with IT (computers etc), but I also take interest in health and social care - just being able to listen and offer friendly, unique advice.

Don't hesitate to drop me a personal message if you require more immediate advice, I'm more than happy to respond to both public and private DearCupid problems.

Ryan

123Next > [3 pages, 79 answers]

I have a list, but no woman to match it.

Q.   I don't know what I do wrong? I am 21 years old. I graduate with a Bachelors Degree in 3 mo. Live alone in a nice apartment. I work out about 3-4 times a week. I am handsome a leader and usually decently confident. I have NEVER cheat...

A.   28 November 2009: Howdy, I don't feel that every couple is a perfect match, nor will you find someone who is perfect - everyone has their "faults" and even in the most admirable of people, you'll eventually find something you hate. However, when you are in an es... (read in full...)

Sex - disappointed, hurt, jealous...

Q.   I'm a female and have a strange issue in my relationship with my boyfriend. It appears that I am extremely jealous of him in the sex department. I'm becoming increasingly jealous and resentful, to the point where I cry about it all of the time. ...

A.   23 June 2009: "And no offense to the first poster, but it is a typical male response to your distaste for sex to counsel you to continue to have sex but talk more while doing it." I got the impression she wanted to get more from her relationship and build on... (read in full...)

Sex - disappointed, hurt, jealous...

Q.   I'm a female and have a strange issue in my relationship with my boyfriend. It appears that I am extremely jealous of him in the sex department. I'm becoming increasingly jealous and resentful, to the point where I cry about it all of the time. ...

A.   23 June 2009: You and your partner need to communicate more, you can't keep this locked up inside as it is clearly something that is *really* troubling you and for obvious reasons! I'm going to try and break this down for you, from what you've said: "I have nev... (read in full...)

Since he didn't try to hold my hand or anything should I assume he isn't interested?

Q.   So I met someone on Facebook. We have mutual friends and both go to the same college. We started talking a lot online and eventually it led to him asking for my number. He flirted with me a little through text and we exchanged questions about each ...

A.   22 June 2009: I wouldn't worry about a thing, if he wasn't interested - he wouldn't of talked to you as actively as he did before meeting up and he wouldn't of driven across town to spend time with you. You're over analysing his behaviour; he was just very ner... (read in full...)

Fellas, how do you really feel about pretty 19 year old virgins?!?

Q.   I'm a 19 year old virgin... take my word for it, its not because lack of offers.... I'm moving to Scotland and going to live on my own... I feel like an "adult" but I still haven't had sex, oral sex, I haven't been fingered or nothing! Every ti...

A.   1 December 2008: I think the opinion you personally hold about your virginity is very good - you want to loose your virginity with someone special; perfect! Sex is very personal, and to a lot of people their virginity is precious.. how you want to loose your vir... (read in full...)

Is my penis big enough for my age?

Q.   am i big enough? i am almost 14 years old and my penis is 4.5 inches long and 3 inches girth. i dont think i am big enough for my age. am i rong or right. what is the average size for ME? also, i do not "shoot" yet. is this normal...

A.   1 December 2008: Hello, This is completely normal for your age - you shouldn't be worrying at all. Size doesn't matter anyway :) it's how you use it buddy, that is all that counts! As for 'shooting'; again, normal for your age - nothing to worry about, ... (read in full...)

Maybe this is normal..?

Q.   My boyfriend and I only have sex once a week. I don't ever turn him down but he only tries once a week... we haven't been together that long, only 5 months. Is this normal? Everyone I have been in a relationship with before him wanted it at LEAST ...

A.   17 September 2008: Hello, I wouldn't see this as a problem or abnormal at all. When me and my partner were first together - it was once a week, it took a while for us to get used to each other; what we liked/disliked.. Perhaps he feels you only want to be havin... (read in full...)

What lubricant to use for anal sex?

Q.   What is the best lubricant in the market for anal sex? I have used KY Jelly and Astroglide so far, but I was wondering if there are much better lubricants out there. I don't care whether it's water or oil based. I just want want that lasts and not ...

A.   3 February 2008: Some offer certain benefits, such as heat / tingling etc - or just general hightened intensity of feelings.... (read in full...)

Is sex the first time painful?

Q.   I am 14 and I want to know if having sex for the first time is sore because I am planning to do it soon. x Thanks If You Reply x...

A.   2 February 2008: Hello, How much it hurts really varies depending on who you are, it also depends if your hymen is currently in tact (the small piece of skin that covers the opening to your vagina). If you was active as a child, and did some sorts such as gymnasti... (read in full...)

What lubricant to use for anal sex?

Q.   What is the best lubricant in the market for anal sex? I have used KY Jelly and Astroglide so far, but I was wondering if there are much better lubricants out there. I don't care whether it's water or oil based. I just want want that lasts and not ...

A.   2 February 2008: I've used some of Durex's ranges before, found them to be pretty good - they can add extra sensation too, a tad messy to apply but it quickly covers a surface and makes it very lubricated. Other than that, I have no suggestions - sorry :)... (read in full...)

Was this an erection and does it mean he likes me??

Q.   Does an erection mean he likes me? Okay well me and my best friend are amazingly close, he is a boy, and i really like him alot more than a friend, its a long story, but we are pretty much in love with each other, although we have never kissed o...

A.   2 February 2008: Hello madam, Chances are he did have an erection, but at this age-level could of been caused by anything - and doesn't necessarily mean anything! Unfortunately by being male we do suffer from the ocassional (or often) unexpected erect... (read in full...)

Will the morning after pill stop me getting pregant?

Q.   hello, a friend of mine said morning after pills really works: like when you take it within 73 hours, it really works like it clean everything in you out. Last night me and my boyfriend had sex and he cummed in me. After that i put spermcid...

A.   2 February 2008: Hello, The longer you leave it after having unprotected sex, the less your chances increase - after 72 hours, the percentage success rate drops to between 50-80%. Again, I'd like to stress that no contraceptive method has a 100% sucess rate... (read in full...)

I do not want my bf to think I am not interested in him just because I am generally not excited about Valentine's Day!

Q.   Hello, I'm in a fairly new relationship with this guy and I like him a lot. My sort-of dilemma that's developing is he's clearly into Valentine's Day and is looking forward to doing something special and extravagant, but I'm not a big Valentine'...

A.   30 January 2008: Hello, Just take it this way; its a nice day out with each other - just with a bit of extra romance thrown in and perhaps a bit of sauciness to finish up afterwards! Just go with the flow, enjoy his company.. his gestures towards you; tre... (read in full...)

My bf said his ex was a very nasty person, then resumes contact with her. What does this tell about him?

Q.   When you date a guy for 1 year and 4 months and he said hes totally into you, but when he starts talking to ex which he said "she was bitch and i never ever liked her." and plus adds her on myspace. what does that mean? b/c i dont want to tak...

A.   30 January 2008: Hello, It does seem a little odd; but perhaps he is just interested in a friendship, or catching up with her (not in the sense of cheating or anything like that). The only way you're going to find out, is ask him - you've been together a consi... (read in full...)

Information about spermicide. Is there any risk of pregnancy in given situation?

Q.   does spermcide really work? B/c i bought a box full of thin desolving spermcide where u put it in u and wait for 15 minutes then have sex. but my boyfriend thought it was ok birth control so he cummed in me. is there a chance where i can be pr...

A.   30 January 2008: Hello, Like with any contraceptive method, there is *always* a chance - condoms are the most effective method available; spermicides generally have quite a moderate effectiveness during intercourse. You could also go to your local pharmacist... (read in full...)

How effective are condoms?

Q.   Lets say your partner has a STD and he wears a condom no matter what weather it's oral or intercourse etc... Is it still possible for you to get STDs?...

A.   14 January 2008: Condoms are generally very effective (99.99% effective in some cases), but like with anything there is always a risk that method could fail. To ensure the maximum effectiveness you need to ensure the condoms are of good quality (e.g reputabl... (read in full...)

What can I do to bring my husband back home?

Q.   my husband and i seperated and we have 2 kids and i just want to know what i can do to bring him back home?...

A.   30 December 2007: Let things cool down, give him some space and time to think - in the mean time; give support to your kids - as they probably will know whats going on and will need you to help them through it (even if it is temporary). Then get in contact with him... (read in full...)

She left me after 3 years and I don't understand what happened, what is she trying to do to me? Is it too late for us to fix things?

Q.   my xgirlfriend left me after 3 years.we never fight, we always got alone.well she left me befor hollween this year.I was going to ask her lets go out to eat and she said no and i was shocked i was going to be nice.well she said we got to talk well ...

A.   30 December 2007: Its very hard to accept loosing someone, when you can't see no reason behind it (a true, solid one at that) - but from the sounds of things, it does sound like this is what you have to do. Accept that she has left you, and gone off - perhaps she ... (read in full...)

We were supposed to go to the movies but they stood me up without even calling me, what shall I do?

Q.   Well, what can i say, This guy i work with, we planned to go to the movies,(it was supposed to be me, my cousin, this guy, and a girl that like him). So, the thing is they never showed up. Is this because they wanted to be alone, or is it because ...

A.   30 December 2007: Perhaps nothing happened in the end, perhaps you didn't receive your text/phone call for other reasons (low battery, no credit, poor signal - lost message). It does seem unfair you've been left unnotified of what has been happening, but the only... (read in full...)

How could it happen that the next day after asking me for reconciliation, they declared their love for each other and became a couple?

Q.   I decided to end my relationship with my alcholic boyfriend 3 months ago - we were together over 5 years, living and working together 24/7. He spent a week in hospital early in 2007 where he underwent detox and suffered the most dreadful ...

A.   30 December 2007: Hello, Unfortunately alcoholism can seriously change anyone, and even after (if) they recover from it - their personality can still be severely adjusted. It can generate a lot of emotions, a lot of mixed feelings and an incredible amount of depre... (read in full...)

Should I stay or walk away?

Q.   i'm new to all this. i need an objective opinion. i'm in a complicated and unpopular position. i started to see a married man a year ago. he has kids but not to his wife. they arent happy, hardly ever see each other and havent slept together in over ...

A.   30 December 2007: He is seeking refuge from an unhappy, failing marriage through you - hes already expressed his feelings to her, and said that he isn't interested in her anymore. I don't think you should walk away (which is rare in this case) - because, by you w... (read in full...)

We kiss, but he never asks me out!

Q.   there's this guy i like; we met through my friend. we get on really well and talk to each other alot... we throw parties all the time, and he comes along and mostly all of the time me and him kiss and stuff. But whenever i mention another guys ...

A.   30 December 2007: Hello, In this kind of situation, we can't decide for you - as we're no judge of personality if we've never met him (and it would be unfair to do so even if we did!). Getting hurt in previous relationships can always affect your decision between ... (read in full...)

How do I ask my girlfriend about taking our relationship further?

Q.   I've been with my girlfriend for just over a month now, we're both 15. We're both sensible and intelligent so we're not gonna try anything major for a while and we both know where we stand on this because we were both in a conversation with a load ...

A.   30 December 2007: Hello, Well you're both 15, entering a new relationship and a world of experiences awaits you - perhaps 1 month is a bit too early to be jumping into things a bit more intimate; but lets discuss something else first; I'm a bit concerned that y... (read in full...)

What makes a good relationship?

Q.   I am kinda curious of what makes a good relationship? We all know Trust and communication but there has to be more layers than this? does anyone Know ...

A.   29 December 2007: The ability to understand your partner, having things in common - being able to listen. Have an actual desire to be with each other, be attracted to one another. Feel you always have someone to turn to, someone that will always support you and ... (read in full...)

My bf thinks I'm cheating because I called another number by mistake instead of his.

Q.   ive been with my boyfriend for over a year, i am 16 and hes my first, anyway, he thinks im cheating on him and the other day, we was arguing on the phone while he was at work, so my mum took the phone away from me so i couldnt ring him, so a few ...

A.   29 December 2007: Hello, You just need to explain what happened, show him the number you dialed and how similar it is to his. Just sit down with your boyfriend and talk to him about it, its all you can do - the fact is; he should trust you anyway. Explain to hi... (read in full...)

I do not know whether to help him knock out this fetish or be tolerant about it, as it makes me feel inadequate?

Q.   I have a boyfriend whom I adore to death and back, and we're sharing an issue. He is very much a T and A man. As yes, I realize a lot fo men are into tits and ass, but to him it's a preference that even he is ASHAMED of. He doesn't like them...

A.   29 December 2007: Hello, Nothing is right if its making you feel unhappy and has made you resort to asking for advice from other people. Although you have to respects his opinions, feelings and sexual desires - it still isn't fair on you if you are feeling upset ab... (read in full...)

My long distance boyfriend is living like a single in a constant party when I'm not around. I feel it hard totrust him, am I too controlling or what is going on?

Q.   I am currently on a long distance relationship and what is upsetting me right now is that my bf is like living the single life when I am not around. He goes out with friend to bars to drink and have fun. I do not mind that he goes out but, there ...

A.   29 December 2007: Hello, We all have to have social lives, and if he doesn't get to spend much time with you then hes going to have the natural desire to go out with friends and socialise (and not necessarily cheat!). Do you think it would be fair if you aske... (read in full...)

He's hot and cold, how do I handle this?

Q.   Hey, I'm upset and confused. I have been with a boy from college for the good part of two months so far, and I care for him so much. We've not known each other long, probably a few months at the most, and we started off friends. He made it so ob...

A.   28 December 2007: Hello, I'm surprised no one has replied to you yet, how unkind (I've been scoping this one out waiting for someone to sneak in before me - but here we go!) Anyway, enough of me waffling - I understand your worry, I think anyone would be concern... (read in full...)

I am hurt and confused because he told me he visited an ex who is in prison "for no reason."

Q.   I am in this relationship with this man I love so dearly. He just told me that he went to see an ex that is in prison. I asked why, and the only answer he gave was "No Reason". I am hurting and confused right now. What should I do?...

A.   28 December 2007: Hello, I wouldn't worry to much yet, chances are he was only visiting her for emotional support as a friend (and nothing else). I wouldn't get to worked about it, but its obviously distressing you so you should talk to your partner about it more.... (read in full...)

Any advice on what to do with my hymen problem????

Q.   Heya. I used a tampon once and it really hurt me. So i haven't done it since. My boyfriend and i are thinking about sex but i am really scared of the pain. I did horseback riding for 8 years and i have done football, but my hymen is still ...

A.   28 December 2007: Theres nothing you can do hunny, unfortunately 99% of women have to go through the process of having their hymen broken by means of foreplay or sex (or if you're lucky, naturally through gymnastics / horseriding - but not in your case). The p... (read in full...)

I have a lump bigger than a grape in my vagina and I'm really scared, what could it be?

Q.   im so scared and i have tried to research this but don't know what is wrong with me, can somebody please help!! My vagina has been swolen and sore for the past week or so, and i got green thick discharge the other day too. I thought i had a ...

A.   28 December 2007: Hello, You need to go see a doctor as soon as you can, unfortunately we can't daignose this problem online for you without further inspection (and don't send us pictures!) - the best thing for you to do is book a doctors appointment ASAP and get ... (read in full...)

Humans before pets no matter what?

Q.   My guy hates my cat, and told me that I can't take him with us when we buy a house. He's not allergic to the cat, and the cat hasn't done anything bad or been mean at all. He just thinks my cat is annoying. I had the cat before I meet him. Should...

A.   28 December 2007: Well, its a question of value - do you value your boyfriend more than the cat? How ever, perhaps a one to one talk would be in order first - its not fair that you have to give up something you love for him, explain to him that you love the cat ... (read in full...)

I want to come out with my sexuality (I'm bi) but I'm afraid people will say I am copying my best friend.

Q.   I'm bisexual and I've been totally comfortable with that for a good while now but nobody knows. A couple of years ago my best friend 'came out'. Since then she changes if she's gay, bi or straight every other month and she's even had relation...

A.   28 December 2007: Hello, I don't think your friends will think you have copy'd your friend - its your sexuality, and you obviously know how you feel - no one can argue with that fact. How ever, before you release this to your friends you need to make sure you... (read in full...)

My bf stays until late at his best friend's house and he ignores me when she is around. I heard her saying she loves him. Ideas?

Q.   My boyfriend stays at his best friends house until like 3 a.m. and hes always ignoring me when hes around her. Its like when she around i dont exist. I cant stand him hanging around her 24-7. She one time said i love you baby to him and boy i filled ...

A.   28 December 2007: You need to confront your boyfriend, sit down and talk about how him seeing her has made you feel quite upset. Simple as that, you need to talk to your partner! Ryan... (read in full...)

What can I do for her to like me - without confessing my love before I can be sure she loves me too?

Q.   i love this girl and i don't want her to know till am sure she loves me too,what should i do to make her love me without i proposing to her..i think of her all the time and it is affecting me because i cant get her to like me...

A.   28 December 2007: I think proposing would be slightly a step too far to just express your love for her. You need to get to know her more, and build up your friendship so you become naturally closer - this could involve; cinema, lunch, dinner or going anything w... (read in full...)

I have feelings for my friend, should I ignore them?

Q.   So im friends with this lad,we have been for about a year now.We are really close and i would class him as one of my best friends.The thing is i have started to fall for him.I cant get him out of my mind and really wish we could be together.One of ...

A.   28 December 2007: Hello Tanya, Friendship is truely a wonderful thing - and it should be treasured, but being humans we naturally have the urge to be closer and eventually enter a relationship. Its relationships which were originally built on friendships ... (read in full...)

I normally shave all the time, but my new boyfriend touched me there and may have felt my pubic hair. Should I feel embarassed?

Q.   I normally shave all the time, but my new boyfriend touched my down there and I think he felt my pubes. I'm so humiliated and I think he is going to tell kids at school. What should I do?...

A.   28 December 2007: Pubic hair is totally natural, we all get it - its nothing to be embaressed about and so what if he felt it? I very much doubt he'll tell people at school about your pubic hair, if hes your boyfriend he'll respect you for what you have - and no ... (read in full...)

I try to give him the brush-off, so does he still love me?

Q.   Hi, theres this guy i havent known very long but have come to be good friends with him. He seems to have changed in the last couple of weeks n i think that he might like me more than a friend. He casually says he loves me almost every day...and he ...

A.   28 December 2007: Hello, Only you can find this out, we can't tell you whether he loves you or not - you need to follow your instincts. It does sound like he is interested in you, but you are right to consider the relationship beforehand - although it is hard to ... (read in full...)

Why won't he pleasure me?

Q.   dear agony aunt i really hope you can help. i have been going out with my boyfriend for almost 2 years and i have noticed at the beginging of the relationship he is so greedy in the bedroom its all about him. i will pleasure him but when its his ...

A.   28 December 2007: Hello, You need to talk to your partner about your feelings, he may not feel comfortable in doing some things (everyone is different) - but it is definately not fair you're not getting your fair share of fun! Sit down and talk with your pa... (read in full...)

Why won't she even let me take her shirt off?

Q.   K, so I'm just wondring why the girl I'm dating won't tongue kiss, and won't go past kissing at all. We've gone on 5 dates now, and talk all the time, but she won't tongue kiss, her version of making out is just repetitive pecks, which I'm cool w...

A.   28 December 2007: It is very important you give your partner time, 5 dates is not alot and you can't expect her to go all the way to sex with you at such an early stage. Every girl is different and you should appreciate her feelings , she may feel uncomfortable wi... (read in full...)

*c.ryan's friends

These are mutual friends, so *c.ryan has added them and they have added *c.ryan!

Danii-N-Dale agony auntDanii-N-Dale
El Dente agony auntEl Dente
iwannaloveme agony auntiwannaloveme
nikandme agony auntnikandme

All Content Copyright (C) DearCupid.ORG 2004-2008 - we actively monitor for copyright theft

0.0937702000010177!