A
male
age
41-50,
*avid82
writes:I'm 28 and very sexually and emotionally attracted to my mother in law. she is 45. I have known her for 8 yrs and we get along very well. she knows I check her out every chance I get and has never said anything, she has checked me out before and flirted a little but nothing major. should I tell her how I feel? If she knows how I feel she can decide what to do about it. If nothing else I'm sure it would make her feel good knowing a younger man thinks she is still very sexy.
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 December 2010): Yeah tell her she's hot for the laugh, take pics of her too and send them to me so I can decide whether she's hot too.
How you tell her? That's easy, just get naked in her kitchen, tie a ribbon around your penis and put a rose in your mouth. She'll get the message then.
(all the above was sarcasm)
Dude what do you want out of this? I'm unclear on that, not once do you mention your wife. What's the deal with her? What is the story with your marriage? You're not telling us anything about her, how are we supposed to know what to tell you if we know nothing about her or how she would feel?
A
female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (8 December 2010):
 Look, everyone has pretty well told you that there is no good way to tell her. If you want that advice, it looks like you will have to find another site. Take care!
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female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (8 December 2010):
 Also, risking your marriage to hit on your mother in law? No, NOT normal.
Tell her like this: "(insert name here) I find you to be extremely sexy." Then walk away and brace yourself later for a fight with your wife, a divorce if she's smart, or for your mother in law to throw you out of her house. Good luck with that!
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (8 December 2010): I have no fear of her causing a stink..and I wouldnt be taken to the cleaners for telling another woman she's hot. it is very normal tennisstar. If I do decide to tell her what would be the best way to go about it?
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 December 2010): Don't know if this answer will even be posted - stop being a douche bag
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female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (8 December 2010):
CindyCares raises a good point. The aftermath. Being a laughingstock is generally a bad career move. "Why'd they break up?" "He went after his mother-in-law." "OOOhhh, juicy! Is anybody THAT stupid?" *laughter*
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female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (8 December 2010):
" No I didnt forget about my wife but feel its worth the risk. i think abut being with her all the time."
Ah, if this is the OP, you definitely need to see someone in the mental health counseling capacity. Obsessive thoughts and inappropriately risk-taking behavior indicates a problem. I hope for your wife's sake you keep this in the realm of fantasy. Poor thing.
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female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (8 December 2010):
 I would keep my mouth shut. Not so much for obvious moral reasons, you seem not to care much about them. But for practical reasons.
It's far from sure she will be flattered. What if instead she gets mad and makes a stink ?. She may make a scene in public and make you look like an idiot, or slap you silly, or tell her bf. Or tell your daughter ,who could take you to divorce court to a choir of judges cheering for her and merrily chanting " Let's take him to the cleaners ! let's take him to the cleaners ! "
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female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (8 December 2010):
Are you the OP last male anon?
Yes, checking out other women is normal just to check them out when you're married. Checking out your mother in law and being emotionally and sexually attracted to her? No, that's not normal.
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 December 2010): *If nothing else I'm sure it would make her feel good knowing a younger man thinks she is still very sexy.*
No, it will make her feel sick and sad all at the same time. Sad that her daughter is married to a man that would make a pass at his mother-in-law and sick at the thought of how she is going to tell her and break her heart, even though she knows that it is for the best that she knows the truth about what you are like.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 December 2010): That's an awesome idea. Tell your mother-in-law how sexy she but make sure your wife tells your dad that she's had the hots for him from the beginning. Then proceed to a Caribbean vacation for four. Oh wait, does she have any hot sisters and do you have any yummy brothers? Just think of the possibilities. You can just pool your money together and form a nice intimate commune of inter-family sexcapades.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (8 December 2010): first of all its not sick its very very normal.. my mil is a very beautiful woman who is in great shape. I really dont think she would care if I was checking out other woman while married to her daughter, I always check out other woman just like every other man or woman, its normal. No I didnt forget about my wife but feel its worth the risk. i think abut being with her all the time. my mil is not married but lives with her bf.
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 December 2010): She cares about her daughter, she doesn't want to know the man married to her is willing to be unfaithful.
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male
reader, dirtball +, writes (8 December 2010):
 Go for it man! Hopefully she's up for it too. I think it would be awesome if your wife stayed with you after she got pregnant. Then your child would also be your sibling in law. Talk about an awesome arrangement!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 December 2010): Absolutely not, no don't tell her. Once it is said, it cannot be unsaid. It may create a terrible awkwardness. There is nothing wrong with a bit of light flirting that is innocent, it can lift the spirits and be a bit of fun. But once you cross the line then you are asking for problems. Where would it lead anyway? Are you going to have a affair with your mother-in-law? Heavens, think no more about it, it's madness.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 December 2010): You can make a play for your mother in law. Or you can stand under a piano being hoisted up the side of a tall building by drunks using a chewed up thread bare rope.
If either of them snap the effect will be exactly the same.
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female
reader, YouWish +, writes (8 December 2010):
 You would think it would make her feel good knowing that a younger man finds her sexy? How would it make her feel if she knows you're checking out another womanh while still married to her daughter?!
You don't even begin to realize how protective mothers are of their children, even after they're grown. Do you think she'll respond positively to your roving eyes and your making a pass at her, when knowing that what you're doing would devastate her daughter beyond measure? What mother wants her daughter to ever marry a cheater?
Also, what's this business of some older woman having an ego boost because of a younger man? Most of us don't generally work the same way men do in regards to "trading in for a younger model". We don't require that for an ego boost.
If you have any decency, let this go once and for all and appreciate your beautiful wife before you lose her.
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female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (8 December 2010):
Forgot to say, NO, don't tell your mother in law you find her sexy. That's inappropriate and will lead her to think that her daughter has married a sexual predator, a cheat, a fake, or a freak. None of which are desirable son-in-law qualities.
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female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (8 December 2010):
If she's caught you ogling her, she knows you think she's sexy. No need to spell it out, really. That's enough of an ego boost for the mother of your wife, no doubt. It's one thing to be desired by a younger man. It's entirely different to have your DAUGHTER'S husband come on to you. "AWKWARD!" is funny and spot-on.
Unless that is you are entertaining some fantasies about her that you think would be a good idea to try to make real?
Tired of being married, I guess? Looking for some drama and clashes to make life interesting again?
If you are having uncontrollable thoughts and are about to make marriage-destroying mistakes, get yourself into a licensed mental health counselor. Get a referral from your doctor.
Take care.
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female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (8 December 2010):
 What would be the point to it? Flattery? I feel sorry for your wife. You may not have intended it, but you come off as pretty sleazy...
AWKWARD!
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female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (8 December 2010):
And for those 8 years you have been married to her daughter? Yeah, you have a wife, did you forget about her? So what if you do tell your mother in law you're into her, then what happens? Do you have some sick fantasy of bedding a daughter and her mother? Whatever floats your boat. Isn't your mother in law married??
I suggest if you're going to make pass at the mother in law, you divorce your wife first to save her from cheating and dying of embarrassment when she finds out you want her mother instead. Then proceed to wreck that mother-daughter relationship. At least, you fulfilled your fantasy.
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 December 2010): How would your wife feel about this.
How would you feel if she continuously checked your dad out and told him she was extremely sexually and emotionally attracted to him.
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