A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I broke up with my boyfriend of 3 years on 6th January, having cheated on him for the second time (when drunk still not an excuse). I am a terrible person and am trying to become better. I still think about him all the time, but he deserves better, he doesn’t deserve to be hurt like this.Before I was with him I was with someone else for 3 years, so, essentially for 6 years I have been ‘taken’. Being single since 18 is strange to me – I miss intimacy and cuddles and companionship. I’ve decided to meet up with a guy that I cheated with on my ex. We are both aware of the situation and that I don’t want anything serious, essentially I think it’s a FWB relationship, but somehow it still makes me feel like a slut and sometimes even like I’m betraying my ex. At the same time I’m looking forward to seeing this guy tonight – I know I’d never love him but I am missing things.There’s pretty much no chance I could ever get back with my ex even though he said he still loves me, should I hold out, should I be being totally singular in my still very much remaining affections for my ex? I do not know?? By the way, my mother died around the same time I broke up with my ex and cheated on him, she had been ill for a long time. It’s all very confusing!Any advice anyone?? Thanks!!
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female
reader, ilovebowsandcherries +, writes (15 April 2009):
 yeah just give him some time and space i mean at least you'll still hopefully be friends :)
hope your ok hun.
like i said if you need anything don't hesitate to message me :)
best of luck in your future.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 April 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questioni have plenty of good friends but i don't want to talk to them about it... it's my fault my ex and i broke up and my mum died 4 months ago...
i definitely don't want a relationship, i don't even want to talk to the guy about anything
i would like to talk to my ex but he said he can't be my friend at the moment... plus, telling him how much i miss him would really confuse him
i am going travelling in 3 weeks for at least 6 months so i think i will call my ex then to tell him i'm leaving...
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A
female
reader, ilovebowsandcherries +, writes (15 April 2009):
yeah i see what you mean you will probbly miss him and probably wnat to cry because he's said he doesn't want to know you and you probably feel like because your mum has gione and now he has that you have no-one i mean you can have a fling i suppose to fill the void but i wouldn't recommend it i mean it'll not be what you want it to be and there are prices you will have to pay when this arises suich as disease you'll have to be careful of and pregnancies.
maybe you're just looking to pour your heart out to someone and have someone to actually listen to your problems i mean seems like you're keeping strong for yourself and pushing things to the back of your mind which isn't good maybe your crying for help for someone to listen to your problems and for someone to be there for you to look out for you.
if you want a fling then go for it but i think yo do want a relationship because you wan the comfort as you probably miss the comfort of your mum and affection but also you miss having your mum to be there for you when something goes wrong.
and now you feel alone and like no-one is there for you to listen to you or comfort you and give you affection
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 April 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionso do u think it's ok for me to fill this void with meaningless thing (not relationship), i've seen him twice in 3 months...i still feel like a slut... do you think it's slutty to have this kind of relationship with a guy?my ex told me he doesn't want to speak to me for the forseable future, he blocked me on facebook and he can't go on hoping that i'll change my mind? i'm so confused.... i don't know if i miss and cry over him/my mum or one or both....if u see what i mean... does this make any sense?THANK YOU
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A
female
reader, ilovebowsandcherries +, writes (15 April 2009):
yeah i totally understand that because you still feel its a sin towards your ex.i mean maybe in some senses you are better to be single?possibly as and when something happens you feel its right then go for it.but maybe for the time being just leave relationships for a whileseems like you are trying to fill a void from the loss of your mum and seek comfort and love from a guy.and maybe because your ex wen away you felt really alone and needed comfort and affection?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 April 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionhe was living in a different country so was hard for me...
the thought of seeing the guy i cheated with sometimes makes me feel a bit sick, and/or hate myself!?!
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A
female
reader, ilovebowsandcherries +, writes (15 April 2009):
hun i am, really sorry to hear about your mum trust me i've been there.you obviously felt alone and upset after this had happend for obvious reasons and were probably seeking for more comfort than you had expected too maybe you felt your ex wasn't comforting you enough?you were clearly in the wrong state of mind due to loss of your mum which i understand is VERY tough.maybe for the time being you should see how it goes with the guy you cheated with?i'd not go back to your ex though even though he still loves you but maybe you should just stay as friends with him for now hope this helps.best of luck :)
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 April 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionjust to clarify, i was in relationships from 18 til now - all of my adult life - which takes some getting used to!
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