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Should I just brave it and try to approach girls. What are some good tips to connect with girls?

Tagged as: Big Questions, Crushes, Friends, Teenage, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (30 August 2014) 5 Answers - (Newest, 1 September 2014)
A male Australia age 18-21, *ndrewYourz writes:

I am 15, tall, muscular, well featured, and intelligent. I never curse or swear and I would never insult anyone.

I respect all girls but especially like brown haired, cute, and shy girls.

I homeschool so therefore I don't socialise much but when I do quite a few girls will give me more than a few glances.

I have never approached a girl in my life.

Should I just brave it and get it over with? I guess I am rather shy.

Could I also have any tips on how to talk and approach. Any help is much appreciated. Thank you.

Also can you please tell me if I sound physically attractive. Many thanks

View related questions: shy

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A female reader, Via F. United States +, writes (1 September 2014):

Via F. agony aunt...Good Lord...

You literally just described me in that post.

...

Anyway.

I say you go for it, but be careful. There will be girl's who will try and change you and or want you only because of your looks. There will be girls who wouldn't do that even if it was a life or death thing (like me), but maybe I'm getting a little dramatic.

There will be nice girls and then there will be jerks. Sometimes even the shy girl that sits in the back of the classroom and never gets called on the best. It's sometimes that the little things and people in life matter the most.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (1 September 2014):

1. Nice guys finish last. Nice guys end up in the Friend Zone. Read about these ideas online until you understand them. Don't go around assuming every girl 100% fits these ideas all the time but you need to be familiar with them.

2. The guys who get a lot of girls will talk to anyone who looks even remotely possible. They have absolutely zero fear of rejection. They don't act too arrogant but their confidence in themselves is so unflappable that it's a little stupid. They can get rejected 10 times in a row and still go right on acting confident when they try the 11th girl.

3. Girls are individuals too. Don't forget that. No fact or rule will ever apply to all of them.

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A male reader, Mark1978 United Kingdom +, writes (31 August 2014):

Mark1978 agony auntLooks are not everything! As Cerberus said we cant tell you if your attractive. Some women love tall, well featured, intelligent men. Others like short, weedy, stupid men like me. Its the way of the world.

I have sometimes been surprised at the fact I am attractive to some very beautiful, sexy, intelligent women but they say opposites attract.

I don't consider myself attractive in any way but I once had Ingrid Pitt flirt with me. Admittedly it was when I still had hair and she was about 80 at the time but hey! Ingrid Pitt!

You like brown haired, cute and shy. Fair enough. I like frumpy, bad breath and acne myself. Each to their own. Just practise chatting to girls! You don't have to chat them up just get used to actually conversing with the opposite sex. (tell me what its like wont you?) Its not hard to just TALK with no pressure to ask them out. Then when that gets easier start flirting. Before you know it you will be a regular Casanova.

Its not about looks and body, its about having the right mindset and confidence.

Mark

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A male reader, AndrewYourz Australia +, writes (31 August 2014):

AndrewYourz is verified as being by the original poster of the question

AndrewYourz agony auntThanks so much :)

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A reader, anonymous, writes (30 August 2014):

"Also can you please tell me if I sound physically attractive." No we can't tell you if you "sound" physically attractive it's a visual trait and in my head I pictured a giraffe, they too are tall and well featured.

OP get rid of the notion of being attractive, just forget it, it's not important and it may lead you into thinking you somehow deserve a girl when you have to earn them, or it may sow doubt when there's no need. We're all attractive to someone and it only matters we find someone like that we also like.

How you talk and approach is the same as anyone. Treat them like you would a man you want directions from or need to ask a question. Just say hello and tell them why you approached them.

Don't try to be smooth or use a line, just be friendly and say "hello". That's all there is to it. They're not some magical creature you need a translator or specific method to communicate with, they're just other humans.

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