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Should I enjoy being a prostitute this much? I need money for school.

Tagged as: Forbidden love, Sex<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (20 April 2008) 24 Answers - (Newest, 21 May 2010)
A female Canada age 26-29, anonymous writes:

I wanted to make some money for school and decided to work as a prostitute as it is a quick way to make really good money. My question is this: I am enjoying this a lot, but on TV you are always seeing hookers who hate what they do and hate the men and hate themselves, etc, etc. I have liked having sex for money. I have had fun and many of the men are really nice. Some nights are so much fun, I think I want to do this forever. Am I like strange or weird because I don't find what i am doing so objectionable?? Some of the girls I work with really are down on me and tell me I am an airhead and I am too nice to the johns, but my customers are almost always nice to me and if they are grumpy to begin with, I stay cheerful and usually get them laughing and happy after a while.

View related questions: escort, I work with, money, prostitute

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A reader, anonymous, writes (21 May 2010):

Ok, think VERY carefully about what you're saying here...

I became a prostitute aged 20, and almost immediately I became hooked on the attention, and the fast easy money that could be made, and it very quickly became a lifestyle..I got greedy for more money, and put no real value on it...as there was always more to be made. I am now nearly 30, and unfortunately have never managed to get out of it, and have never been able to have a good relationship with a decent guy. What I didn't realise was that I was developing a very deep distrust of men, and seeing the way they lied to their wives and deceived their loves ones as if they were doing wrong really affected my outlook. When you work in this game, you are effectively little more than a paid sperm bank. Men can go home and jack off, but they soon get bored with that and decide they want to do it inside a real woman...and that's where you come in. Men use you and you know it.It will be very hard once you've done this for a few years to ever fully experience love, or form a deep emotional bond with a man, simply because you've had your eyes opened and you see what they're all about...when you have a boyfriend, you'll always wonder are they really working late, or are they hooking up with a prostitute? DO NOT BE DECEIVED...sure, you can make good money, but the problem with that kind of money is that it's easy come, easy go. You will find it very hard once you've done this kind of work to go and work in a regular job which pays far less per hour. I've known many women that work in this industry, and I can honestly tell you that the success stories are few and far between.As i'm realising now, once the damage has been done, it will be too late before you realise it. Also, be aware that whilst you feel you may have "helped" a few marriages, I can give you numerous examples of marriages that break up because the husband was using hookers.

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A male reader, marre69 Sweden +, writes (29 December 2008):

There's nothing wrong with enjoying being a prostitute. I've had three exes who were in the sex industry being prostitutes, exotic dancers, a domina and one even a porn star, and none of them were unhappy. In fact I have never known so strong women, enjoying what they do and who were so open minded as they were. And the sex? Let's say I developed a prostitute kink in the sense that I get a turn on from a woman selling herself... how that now can be.

Anyway all these women were exactly as you are. They didn't care about moral issues, because there's no need to do. If we were to take moral issues into account we wouldn't have sex toys, latex catsuits, ballet boots, corsets, BDSM, bondage, deep throating, DP and anything that drives the more or less kinky and perverted normal man or woman wild. The usually so jailed, high on crack hookers that you see in (usually) US TV serials and movies all originate in religious moral and I was pretty convinced that prostitutes are more or less like that until my ex revealed that she's an exotic dancer, and later that she had taken some photos, and later that she had been in a movie, and later that she had johns - sometimes 2-3 a day or night and sometimes many more if it were a gang bang. It took me some time to accept this, mainly because I thought that it MUST be like on TV or in the news papers where prostitutes usually are shown as the bottom of society, high on drugs, aged, unhappy with their choice of profession, sick, beaten and on the edge of death. It wasn't so and doesn't have to be. After that it actually was quite kinky and a turn on and I even went with her and my later exes a few times as her "bodyguard" (of course I was there only for observing, something that she enjoyed very much).

So what can I say that I've learned from being together with these lovely women?

- If you enjoy the sex then enjoy it. When you stop enjoying it stop with what you're doing.

- Experiment - you can stumble on something that you didn't knew you like. The customers might like the variety you offer.

- Never do prostitution on the street - that is where prostitution is dangerous.

- Always use preservatives, no matter who's insisting.

- Test different alternatives, for example exotic dancing, escorting, photography, films. You might like one more than the other.

- You might have quite much money if you have 2-3 clients a night. You might think you have so much of it that you can do whatever you want? SAVE SOME OF IT! You might never know when it ends. As others told - many of your customers have great know-how. Use them! :-)

- Don't do drugs or at least not too much alcohol - it ages you quicker than you think. Your make your living out of your appearance.

- Don't think you're strange, because you're not. Many who do this like it, even though some don't. That too is normal...

- Don't be naive - not all johns are nice!

- If you have a stable and long relation and you both like eachother - tell him. Otherwise he'll find out sooner or later anyway and it's better to have him understanding you and liking you for who you are. If he can't accept it he ain't worth it. Living a lie can make you pretty unhappy.

- Never let others judge you. It's you who should decide what you want to do, not others.

That's all I can think of right now. Good luck and a happy new year on you.

/M

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A female reader, starismine1 United States +, writes (27 August 2008):

starismine1 agony auntDo you really love this because you love the guys you meet and the fun of having their friendship, love the sex or love the money or the attention makes you feel special because you never felt special before this? Can you be okay with doing this if your parents, school peers or future husband found out? Is it a sense of belonging and having friends and a purpose in life that makes this so enjoyable, kind of like belonging to a really cool club that you feel fits you? No one elses can give you the answer to your question about should you enjoy this, only you can know what is the reason you are doing this and is that reason right for you. Sometimes what we do in the moment feels great, but the ultimate consequences, (and yes, there will be consequences because eventually what you are doing will be found out by someone you don't want to know about this) end up being quite unpleasant and painful. So weigh all this, and if you can accept those future consequences and you are doing this for reasonsn that are right for you, you then have your answer.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (27 August 2008):

I am a 31-year old escort who has been in the business for 11 years now. I am drug & disease-free, live in a very nice home in a great neighborhood, have a full-time professional career outside of the hobby, and have 3 fabulous kids. I started escorting to pay for college, and I never stopped. I finished my doctorate a couple of years ago, and overall, life couldn't be better.

I do not spread diseases to wives. I have very strong ideals and moral character. I am very genuine, caring, grounded, and have saved far more marriages than I could probably even count.

More than 90% of my clients are married. Let us not forget -- these guys are out there looking for me, I don't solicit them. I'm not a streetwalker. Working girls in my geographic region command $250-$350 per hour, so our services aren't for the faint of heart, or slight of wallet. Physicians, attorneys, elected officials, semi-pro and professional athletes, accountants, professors, truck drivers, engineers, school teachers, administrators, bankers, retired gentlemen...my client base is very broad.

In addition - I have numerous couples who see me. I'm less expensive than long-term therapy, and a heck of a lot more fun. -Zarina

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A reader, anonymous, writes (21 July 2008):

Be proud of what you do. I find that relationships with escorts whether just for a few hours or as a regular are some of the most genuine, honest and yes, caring human interactions that exist. Most men who are clients of independent escorts are full of respect for the girls that they see.

It is sad that many women are full of bile and venom for working girls. Good escorts save marriages and bring happiness where it is lacking.

You do need an exit plan though. Don't be shy about talking to your clients about plans for businesses in your post-escort life. You already know more than most people your age about running your own business, marketing, customer service and handling money. Many of your clients will be successful people and will be delighted to give you the benefit of their experience. I've invested in 2 businesses set up by girls I met when they were escorting and I don't regret either investment.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (7 May 2008):

Coming from a male,you'll no doubt think what I have to say is baseless, but I have just come from a Thai brothel and believe the women their really enjoy there work.

People sell themselves in all types of work, working 90 hours a week as I do in banking is, in my opinion kind of the same. I sell my sole every week, day, minute.

I'm not sure where your from, but it's the client(customer) who makes any jobs good or bad.

Also religion was a lot to answer for in this line of work. In the western world, Christianity has for decades brain washed women to be ashamed of their sexuality, and this is definitely given women such as you a bad name. Its not going to change, never will. In paganism, women are worshiped as the giver of life, in christianity women are second class.

So it's my opinion: don't be ashamed of the work you do, if your happy with it thats all thats important. You'll need to be strong in holding your position against the community view of this industry.

But really, who gives a shit what others think.

Tomkat

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (5 May 2008):

I just wanted to agree about the not accepting it later problem with prostitution.

You might not care what your future partner was doing years before you met him, but that doesn't mean that he won't care in terms of you. Most men really do have STRONG bad feelings about their woman's sexual past whether they want to feel that way or not.

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A male reader, Enquirer United States +, writes (3 May 2008):

There are numerous things to consider in your decision to work as a prostitute, though there is certainly nothing wrong with enjoying your work. However, as you know, a lot of people will look down on you for what you do, and this could cause problems for you later in life. Also, at some point you may decide you want to marry and have a family, so you are going to have to explain to your future husband why you decided to work as a prostitute, even if it was only temporary. Also, prostitution is illegal in most states, except Nevada, so you could be arrested. Or worse, a pimp may discover you working his territory and force you to go to work for him, and if you refuse, he may try to have you killed. Please don't get caught up in that situation, and don't turn to drugs, as many prostitutes do. I hope that you will be able to make a better life for yourself. Best of luck to you.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (2 May 2008):

person who made original post: i want to thank every one for their answers. I copied everybody's answers and i have reread them several times. i look forward to seeing what others still have to say. to the woman who has been a sex worker for over 40 years - you made me cry, but i hope you have a happier life now. i can't imagine living so hard a life. you had so much courage. you all are right; i am a perfectly normal girl and i will continue to enjoy what i do and do it the best i can. i am young and it was pretty perplexing to find i like doing something that books, tv, movies and internet sites keep saying is so bad, so harmful and that it would make me be very unhappy. here i am expecting the worse and nothing bad happens. i already have a steady client. he meets me every friday afternoon. he tells me that i am his treat for working so hard all week. i take especially good care of him because he is so nice. sometimes after i undress, he just sits and looks at me and talks about being young and how well life has been for him. he always gives me more than i ask. i know not everybody is going to be like him and i keep a lookout for the creepy ones. like the man above said, i don't play the games that involve ropes or chains or handcuffs. i won't pee on anyone and won,t let them pee on me either. i didn't know about this before and one girl told me about it and i was grossed out totally. i use condoms and i have a doctor. i already told him what i do so he will be especially careful checking me out. thanks everybody and i love you all!!!!!!!

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A male reader, WastedLife United States +, writes (2 May 2008):

I wish I knew you! You are cool and clear about yourself and your direction. I would pay attention to the advice of the 40 year sex worker. She is right on, though you might want to learn more about investments beyond the basics of stocks and bonds. You can learn a lot from your clients if you want to. Remember that you insure yourself by default, so put aside at least 50% of what you earn, and keep some cash money in a safe place that only you can get to. There is a publication "Spread Magazine" for sex workers - you might want to google it. Whatever you do, stay healthy, take your vitamins, CAREFULLY select your customers and keep them happy - repeat customers are always best and easiest, and you have less exposure. Don't work TOO much and work out an exit strategy for the future. Find a good MD and get checkups regularly - just say you tend to be rather active sexually. Use condoms if at all possible - make them part of the game, and know your customer really well before considering doing anything unusual, including anal. Avoid handcuffs and ropes or anything that restricts you.

You might also want to consult with a lawyer and arrange for him/her to be available quickly if you ever do get in trouble. And of course, learn to recognize bad situations before they happen. In short, get all your ducks in a row and recognize how to limit your business exposure, while generally having fun giving AND getting your money's worth. Find friends in the business and listen carefully and learn, just don't pick up their attitude if they are the minority that doesn't like the work. I have a couple of former call girls as friends, and they are really good people. I would certainly consider one as a mate. And yes, get your degree and keep your options open. Good luck!

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A male reader, oldfool Australia +, writes (1 May 2008):

oldfool agony auntYou are not strange. Listen to the lady with 40 years in the industry.

Despite the stigma, the sex industry is a service industry. It's a bit like being a hairdresser or masseur, but a bit more intimate... I understand that many sex workers are actually proud of the fact that they can do a job and do it well, and make money from it.

I guess a lot of the prevalent social attitudes are to do with the sacred status accorded to sex in traditional morality. Why do De Beers run 'A diamond is forever' campaigns? To convince people that a hunk of rock has priceless emotional value. That way people won't start treating it like a mere gemstone that can be bought and sold. Similarly for sex, if you follow my drift.

So go ahead. Keep your head screwed on properly. And good luck!

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (1 May 2008):

Lazyguy's answer is right on the money. I am a man just entering his mid-to-late twenties. Let me tell you your outlook on life changes radically in the time that passes from your teens.Those are the years you become fully mature. Try to imagine this I know it's impossible when you are young but believe me your mind will change radically, it does for everyone.

When I was about seventeen,I was depressed that I was not in the "quote" cool crowd that partied and had sex with good looking fast girls. I know for women being successful when you are in your teens means showing off a lot of fancy things only aquired by making quick cash. Those things will fade in time and your past will come back to haunt you. Before you know it you be spending everyday wishing you could go back in time and change your acts.

Those same kids that I was so jealous of that spent all their time partying are now total losers, and me having given up on being cool and focusing on education now have a very bright future. With a clean record, something stupid like possession can really hurt you.

If you are to continue my advice would be not to spend on unnessary needs save and attend school and finish! Men are shallow, I know this, but believe me we only want hot young girls once you lose that no one will have a purely physical attraction to you and thus no money. Also try and establish a repore with some of your more sophisticated clients use your brain if you are going to sell yourself avoid the scumbags!

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A female reader, Laura1318 Malaysia +, writes (22 April 2008):

Laura1318 agony auntBeing a prostitute can be a very lucrative career.

Many uni graduates gave up their professional jobs for this

career as you can never earn much in their jobs.

In the end , why study so hard for a degree when you can make so much money with your body?

It is beauty and not brains that get you far in life.

The recent case of a child prodigy in the UK who became a prostitute..

http://www.newsoftheworld.co.uk/3003_hooker.shtml

A sad reflection of life.

You run the high risk of getting AIDS and if you caught it ,

all the money in the world will not give you the joy and happiness in life.

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A male reader, previasc96 United States +, writes (22 April 2008):

In this day we live in, the tables are turning. Men used to be the players and have multiple partners. But since women are becoming more liberated, they are now sleeping around for kicks and trills. The whole notion that women only want to have sex with a person they have an emotional connection with, is being proved FALSE! Women aren't that different from men when it comes to sexual appetite. Plenty of single, married, or dating women are Club hoping on weekends to find someone to "hook up" with. Buy em a few drinks and give em a good dance and they're ready to take you back to their place or the Hotel. The only difference is, that the club hoppers probably don't have as many partners in a month that you do. What you're doing is considered awful because you are "selling your body". My first and second lay was with an escort. Escorting is like a legalized version of prostitution.

Do what you want, but just know that every action had a consequence. how are you gonna feel when you meet a guy you wanny be serious with? will you tell him you're a prostitute?

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A female reader, Mushgirl United Kingdom +, writes (21 April 2008):

Mushgirl agony auntUm, personally I don't see anything wrong in being a prostitute. Plenty of women go out on the pull and pick up strange men for one night stands... Only difference is, you're getting paid to do it! The only issue I can really think of is the obvious safety thing. Anyone who goes off for anything, let alone sex, with a stranger is putting themselves in a dangerous situation, which I'm sure you know. Just try to minimise the risks I guess...

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A male reader, LazyGuy Netherlands +, writes (21 April 2008):

LazyGuy agony auntIf a man mananged to get loads of sex and be payed for it, he would be a stud, a man among men, a hero. You are a whore. Go figure.

You enjoy sex and have no trouble doing it with total strangers. Not that unusual, except that your one night stands give you a decent income. If you see that some women exchange sex for a meal or even a drink then you at least have a better deal going.

BUT there is a shadow side. It might very well be a crime in Canada (it ain't my country) and this puts you at constant risk of being arrested. How are you then going to pay your lawyer and fine? By selling yourselve again? You would have to since few employers want a person with a criminal record.

There is no such thing as safe sex. Condoms only reduce the chance of an STD and if the customer offers a bit more, do you go without? Even highly sexually active women only have sex with a few dozen men in their lifes, how many do you do in a year? How many years are you going to do it? Each time with a stranger who in turn has slept with how many other hookers? The risks keep adding up.

You are doing it to pay for school, understandable, if anyone had been willing to pay me for sex I would have considered it too instead of having to work nightshifts to put me through day school. If you can make more then I did just on your back for a bit I can hardly blame you.

BUT the money will be hard to give up. What are you studying for? When you start you first real job in your future career how big will the temptation be to add to your meager income with a little bit more sex?

Offcourse as you get older, the price will go down, so more Johns and money is adictive, whill you spend the weekend studying for a new part of your study/career or making a bit extra?

Will you even bother getting a job that you studied for when being a call-girl pays so much more?

And then, one day you will be in your late 20's and then... what will your life look like then.

That is why so many women in that proffesion are down about it. It is a dead end. "Pretty Woman" is a lie, very few men (or indeed women if you swing that way) want a whore even an ex-whore for a long term partner.

Forget about an important career, somebody WILL blackmail you about your past.

Right now you are happy because you only see the good sides. Try to picture your life 10 years from now, hard to do when you are so young, but try.

The really twisted thing is that those who would condemn you the loudest are the same who deny students loans/scholarships to make study available to everyone. Let those who condemn you first ask why this is the only way you can pay for your schooling.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (21 April 2008):

I have worked in the sex industry for over 40 years. I started when I was 14. We were very poor and I sold myself for a cart of groceries. My parents figured out how I got them but, they ate them anyway. They ate the next cart of groceries and wore the shoes I bought. Over the next few years I figured out the ins and outs of being a whore and how to make the money. Also, I filled out and became a fairly good looking woman. A customer I had when I was 15 gave me the best advice I ever got. He said since I was doing it, I might as well enjoy it and do the best I can. All I had been doing was feeling sorry for myself. I found out if I was cheerful and tried to have a good time, the men had a good time and they would call me again and again. Some became good steady customers. I did whatever was needed to make the customer happy and soon I was happy myself. I am proud of how well I've done. I put all of my brothers and sisters through school and bought my Mother a house. Dad died when i was 15; he had been sick for years. Though being a prostitute is not the easiest job in the world, it certainly is not the hardest or the most repugnant and it certainly pays well if you keep a head on your shoulders. Stay away from alcohol and drugs. I never did either and I controlled my life instead of letting it be controlled by others because I was weak and drugged out. Stay off the street and away from pimps. There is no future there. Stay independent and get your own customers. I still work and have steady customers. Oh yes, I often would reach an orgasm from the efforts of my customers. The ones that got me off seemed to enjoy me more and were almost always repeat customers. It has been a good life so far but, my only regret is that I have never had children. Sex work is hard to quit. It is itself almost addictive. But young lady, if you don't get stupid and keep complete control over your working environment and you decide which customers you accept and you accept no maltreatment or other bulls...t, you can lead a happy productive life. MOST IMPORTANT: bank 50% of everything you make. Invest in stocks and bonds (bonds are more secure, stocks better return on the investment over the long haul}. Don't get carried away with shopping. Don't abuse credit cards!!!Pay the little devils off and don't use them unless it is an emergency. You should have the money you make to retire on. Also, go to school and get a good education so when you get too old to be a sex worker or tire of it, you have an alternative way to earn money. Final thing: being a sex worker does not keep you from having relationships. I have had a husband these past 20 years. And I have had boyfriends and dated them just like other girls would do...go to dinner and a movie or go bowling. Just because you are in the sex industry doesn't mean you can't live like everybody else!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (21 April 2008):

Guess what? You're totally normal. At it's best, sex work is no different than any other relationship; except you get paid and don't have to put up with all the strings that come with a traditional romantic relationship.

All the horror stories you hear are pumped up for media attention but the truth is, the majority of sex workers really aren't victims. They're the silent majority (much like you). The horror stories everyone hears come from street work, which makes up only 10-20% of all sex work, though it has the highest level of danger.

Keep yourself safe, keep yourself informed and network to find other sex workers. It always helps to have a friend you can talk to and trust.

When it stops being fun, move on. Until then -- enjoy!

XX

Amanda Brooks

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A female reader, duskyrowe United Kingdom +, writes (20 April 2008):

duskyrowe agony auntYou are putting yourself in a very dangerous and vulnerable situation,there are serious nutters out there who can attack,rape or murder you.

If you want to get money to pay you for school get a part time job, ie bar work,waitressing ANYTHING to get you off the streets and selling your body for a few cheap tricks.

Have you had yourself checked out for and STD? If you was my daughter, I would wonder where I have failed you in your upbringing. Please take good care of yourself. Dusky xxxx.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (20 April 2008):

I'm glad you're happy right now. But from what I've heard, it can be a very nasty situation that I wouldn't wish on anyone I cared about.

The most important thing I would wanna say to you is DON'T get too used to this kind of earning potential.

Remember what mindset got you into this. You started this because you were too poor, so try to stay lean and mean and living like you were still poor. SAVE UP all the fast & easy money this is making you if you're gonna do this. Don't lose the OPTION of getting out of it.

It's the same problem with stripping or dealing drugs or anything else on the wrong side of the tracks: people start doing it, telling themselves "I am only doing this temporarily for some quick money and then I'll get out." But the problem is that they get addicted to the fast money, and pretty soon they drift away from their original plans & jobs . . . and pretty soon the new riskier profession is getting less fun and harder to cope with, and gradually they drift into more drink & partying & drugs to cope with it . . .

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A reader, anonymous, writes (20 April 2008):

whatever makes you happy. if thats what you like to do then it is your choice.

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A female reader, Laura1318 Malaysia +, writes (20 April 2008):

Laura1318 agony auntBeing a hooker has it's pros and cons and I hope you think

carefully before you make it your life long career.

I have written an article here,

http://pinksuzie.com/2007/09/25/the-secret-diary-of-a-call-girl/

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A reader, anonymous, writes (20 April 2008):

there is nothing wrong with liking sex....if you want to get payed for it then you do that... as long as you dont get yourself hurt it dont matter.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (20 April 2008):

Is it weird that you like being a cum dumpster for strange men? Yeah, it's weird. Or at least it should be weird for anyone with a modicum of self-respect.

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