A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend of over a year keeps asking me to let him cum on my face... We've done literally everything else and I feel he should be happy with all the stuff we do. He just won't leave me alone about it. I think I would feel really disgusting and degraded if I let him do it. What should I say to him to make him understand? He's so persistent and it's getting annoying. I'm not trolling, this is a serious question. I'm 19, he's 18.I always give in to him when I don't want to do anything but he does. But this is just something I am not comfortable with.Help! Reply to this Question
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male
reader, JustHelpinAgain +, writes (12 December 2012):
To a young guy its pretty sexy. Hes not a perv or even porned out. Its just something that turns him on. But, you dont like the idea of it and he should respect you. The problem is young guys dont really take no for an answer, well maybe for ten minutes. I never did this on purpose with a girl because I always prefer cumming in the girl rather than on her. However, my first girlfriend tried oral for the first time and was so shocked when I started cumming she suddenly pulled her head away and got an eyeful! Then she rubbed it around a bit! Still one of my best memories. But OP, dont get worked up over it. Suggest a compromise and let him cum on your breasts, and rub it in a bit. As Chigirl says, it is good for your skin - and I wish I had that line 30 years ago!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 December 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you guys very much. I'm not going to let him, and I'll tell him that if he wants me, then he has to respect me. I'm just not comfortable with it and I know I'll regret it and feel disgusting later if I let him. Thanks again guys. He is really special to me, he's everything I could ever ask for. But he never can take no for an answer and that's something I cannot stand. I want to make it work with him because I do love him. But he needs to know when to stop pestering me.Btw, I do like when he's dominant, I like when he takes control. I like everything else we do but I just do NOT want to do that. And I don't think I ever will. I can't say for sure, but I know I'll never give in to that just for him. I have to think of myself as well...I think he's so persistent about sex because it's fairly new to both of us. He's my first and I'm his and we've only been sexually active since June of this year. I also didn't mention that he lives in another state and we only get to see each other every couple of weeks. I know it's hard for him to be away from me and I think he just wants to please me sexually since I can't have him when he's gone.Many thanks, again everyone. I appreciate the comments!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 December 2012): EYESWIDEOPEN said it best:
And once again porn rears it's ugly head....
That was exactly my first thought. Another young user who can't handle porn and doesn't understand that the average real women does not want to be degraded and have that done to them.....that is for men who are pigs and have no respect for women. It's not hot and sexy, it's degrading, period.
And you should tell him exactly why you do not want to do it and explain to him that you are not comfortable bringing that kind of porn into your intimate sex life with him. If he doesn't understand or respect it, he's got a lot of growing up to do. I would also be concerned what else he will want to try from his porn viewing down the road if you allow him to do that ...
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A
male
reader, Yos  +, writes (11 December 2012):
 "I truly think it's about watching too much porn. That being said have you ever asked him WHY it's so important to him?"
Monkey see monkey do.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (11 December 2012):
 I've had it done to me. I don't get it. I don't like it and I think that if I truly loved the man I was with now, I might let him try it once, but I would make sure he knew it was what HE wanted and it was not about what I WANTED and it did NOTHING to enhance my sexual pleasure.
I truly think it's about watching too much porn. That being said have you ever asked him WHY it's so important to him?
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (11 December 2012):
 keeps asking me to let him
I feel he should be happy with all the stuff we do
He just won't leave me alone about it
He's so persistent and it's getting annoying
I always give in to him when I don't want to do anything but he does
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You're with a sex pest. You're with a guy who views you not as a sexual partner but as a sexual vending machine.
I'd break up with him.
Seriously.
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A
female
reader, janniepeg +, writes (11 December 2012):
 Facial cumshots are about domination. You simply don't feel submissive to him, that's understandable because you are older than him. I doubt that he wants to be superior to you either. It's just because it's in porn he wants to try it and see how it feels. I tried it with an older guy. It's really nothing magical. I didn't feel degraded or anything, because I asked for it. He asked you so you might feel like he wants to dominate you, that's the difference. Your relationship just doesn't have that kind of role playing dynamic. You should only go into it with playfulness in mind. If you have reservations it means you shouldn't do it. I thought it was fun to try it, although afterwards my eyes stung and they were red for a while.
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 December 2012): You both are young, If you have been making your sex life about him, even if it makes you uncomfortable, he must be a pretty special guy. I am sorry he doesn't feel the same about you when you tell him how you feel about this. I understand the degrading feeling you express. Does he find making you feel 'little' and 'disrespected' a bonus? How is this action a bonding experience? How does he think this makes you feel any special? And not just an object? Is this somekind of controlling, self empowerment ego? and when he's done, is he going to kiss your with passion and love, like normal hot sex or love making couples do? I doubt it, he will probably tell you to go wash your face before he even touches you. That is really a romantic, caring, partner, who cares about your needs in this magical intiment moment of which you share. Good luck and don't do what you don't want to. If he isn't the one that your going to be with the rest of your life, why give him anything he is not worthy of. Stay strong my dear you will know when the time for anything new is right for you.
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 December 2012): It is normal. i dont see why u would feel disgusting and degradated.but if u arent confotable tel him no and what u feel about that and he shoud respect u.
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 December 2012): Simple, make a deal with him: You'll let him do that if he lets another guy do it to him. It's that simple. If he still doesn't understand ask him if he'd like it if a guy came on his face, if he says that's different tell him it's not, that's exactly how you feel. End of discussion. Tell him if he doesn't let this go you'll let him go, no more discussion. It's a novelty, not a sexual need. if you give in you'll not only regret it but you'll probably start to resent that he made you do that and resent him because of that.
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (10 December 2012):
 To be honest.. I'd let him. The benefits by far outweight any cons. It's funny you ask this question though, because I am going to ask my boyfriend if he'd cum in my face next time we meet. For MY pleasure and benefit. I'm thinking he will find it odd, but here's the thing. Sperm is a great to prevent and/or reduce wrinkles, and helps against acne. You can buy stuff with bulls sperms at the store, but those things are super expensive. The way I see it, if he cums in my face I get to look young longer, and we get an extra thing to spice up the sex.
If he feels uncomfortable about cumming in my face I'll ask him if he wont mind being "tapped on a bottle", lol, so I can use it as a facemask.
Maybe you think it's weird, but women in general do way crazier things to look young and beautiful. So if he wants it, I say go for it. The only thing I'd be careful about is getting it in my hair, as sperm can be difficult to get out of hair (you'd need to use a lot of shampoo thats for sure).
If you sincerely do not feel comfortable about him cumming on your face, then how about him doing it on your breasts? Or belly?
My question to you though is why are you so worried about trying new things? What about sexual acts is it that makes you feel uncomfortable? Is it the way he approaches you, the way he treats you? Because the sexual acts in themselves shouldn't make you feel uncomfortable, it's more likely the social education you've been given that makes you think it's bad to do sexual things. I mean why else would you for a second think anything about sex is DEGRADING? Nothing about sex is degrading, except perhaps for porn.
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female
reader, Staceily +, writes (10 December 2012):
 You don't ever do something you are uncomfortable with sexually. And you don't date someone who pesters you to do things you aren't comfortable with, he doesn't care about you or how you feel, he only cares about getting himself off in the ways he wants to. Doing this will cause you to feel disrespected and ashamed of yourself. No good boyfriend would want that. it's as Yos said, this is from watching too much porn. No woman enjoys getting cummed on her face, it's disrespectful and disgusting. Porn is NOT reality, it's fantasy. He needs to start living in the real world. And you should stick up for yourself and find a decent boyfriend.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (10 December 2012):
What should you do or say to make him feel empathy for you? Um, you shouldn't have to do anything. He should respect your wishes and boundaries in this case.
What should you do to make him understand? Tell him this: "Babe, I don't want to do this. It hurts me that you continue to ask. If you ask for this again, I will have to leave. If you ask again, our relationship is over."
Then if he asks again, leave. Get up, put on your clothes or whatever you are doing, just stop and leave. And find yourself a guy who can manage to put your wishes above his porn....
I'd question why you are with a guy like this too.
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A
male
reader, Yos +, writes (10 December 2012):
Ughhh. Tell him porn is not reality. The women in porn do that because they get paid hundreds of dollars to do it.
"I always give in to him when I don't want to do anything but he does.".
Have a good think about that. Is that really how you want your relationship to be?
Draw the line, do what you like, don't do what you don't. If he persists remind him you are not a paid porn star but a real, normal woman with feelings. If he doesn't get the message then you should consider why you are with a guy that puts his own porn-related fantasies in front of the happiness of his girlfriend.
This is a pretty good website on the subject: http://makelovenotporn.com
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (10 December 2012):
 And once again porn rears it's ugly head....
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A
female
reader, Daisy_Daisy  +, writes (10 December 2012):
 Have you told him you'd feel disgusted and degraded? And if yes, he's carrying on bullying you about this?
You need to put your foot down and tell him no, it's never ever going to happen so he might as well drop it.
I don't like that you say you "always give in". That's not good. Know your boundaries and stick to them. The fact that he's got you to change your mind about things before now is why he's not letting this drop.
Don't let him wear you down. Don't do anything you don't want to do. Be assertive and stand up for yourself.
Him trying to coerce you into doing things is a big red flag.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 December 2012): If you're not comfortable with it, which I personally don't blame you for, then don't do it. End of story. The next time he asks, firmly tell him you do not want to do it and make it clear that if he respects you and your relationship he has to stop asking. He is trying to wear you down because he is used to you giving in to him. Please don't do it this time - you have said yourself the idea disgusts you and you will feel awful afterwards if you give in. Don't let him bully you! Good luck.
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A
female
reader, Zaaleena +, writes (10 December 2012):
If you are not comfortable with it - simply don't do it! You will end feeling exactly how you think you will feel and even worse still cause you knew how you would feel.
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