A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:When my girlfriend and I first hooked up, I didn't have feelings at all. She told me about the last guy she's been with and how she gave him head. I didn't care cause I was just hooking up with her. Months later and here I am 9 months later still with her. The topic came up and she told me he was the only other guy that she actually hooked up with sexually. It started to bother me, but after a while I'm like whatever doesn't matter. But then I found out she was lying and there was another before him. But it was only a handjob. I was HEATED. Not because of the hook up but because she lied to me. It hurt my trust and me, though the hook up added to it. So I broke up with her...now I don't know what to do and how to get over this. Any advice?
View related questions:
broke up, hand-job Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, sarahrose20  +, writes (16 September 2010):
she probably didnt tell you because its not that big of deal. ones sexual past should not matter in a relationship. my boyfriend was a virgin when we got together and i have had 4 other sexual partners. he didnt care he still excepted me. then when he broke up with me claiming we werent on the same level in life i was devastated. he got with two other girls while we were apart and even told me when i took him back thats why he broke up with me in the first place. he wanted to see what it was like with someone else. i was hurt at first but then i accepted it knowing we love each other too much to let our ''histories'' get in the way.
A
female
reader, Elydiese  +, writes (15 September 2010):
you were "heated" how do you think she feels being dumped for some pathetic reason. Who cares if there was 1 other guy who cares if it was 100 its none of your business who shes been with because its her past. I hope she doesnt take a second thought about you, you're not worth it
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (15 September 2010): I don't understand why you broke up with her either. What does in matter what she did before you dated her?? It is really not your concern. What is a concern is how well you treat her and her you while dating. You will just need to move on and stop whining / fretting over your hasty decision.
...............................
A
female
reader, acey lacey +, writes (15 September 2010):
 9 months is a pretty long time.... you two should be able to get thru something like this together and work it out. theres probably a reason why she didnt want to tell you..hear her out give her a chance(if you still can) and if not there are plenty others.
...............................
A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (15 September 2010):
 Maybe she didn't tell you because she thought you'd judge her (since women who have multiple partners sometimes get called sluts and dumped). I'm not excusing her lying, I'm just trying to explain her reason. There's a great article on retrograde jealousy that can be found here:
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/retrograde-jealousy.html
...............................
A
female
reader, sunnycomet +, writes (15 September 2010):
 Well,
If I were you I wouldn't have broken up with her but since you already did then the only option is to get over her. Concentrate on other things and within time you will be over her.
...............................
|
