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Need opinions on situation with boyfriend and other women

Tagged as: Cheating, Three is a crowd, Troubled relationships, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (29 June 2014) 6 Answers - (Newest, 29 June 2014)
A female United States age 36-40, *heSunsWork writes:

Boyfriend (now ex) is mad at me for reading a facebook message a girl sent me outlining her relationship with him. This girl has been stalking me online for over a year.

My boyfriend is incredibly funny, family oriented, loves his mom, nice attractive, 6'5 in height, and a millionaire. Needless to say COUNTLESS women want him. They swarm around him and I recently found out he does not stop at flirting.

The girl told me he told her he was single. She searched online and found out about me. Proceeded to call me all types of names. Messaged me posing as a "friend" of hers. She says they never had sex, but she has been to his home and stayed the night and they fooled around. He makes her park in one of the garages so I would not see her car and she says he does not want her to bring her phone into the house. She also says he ignores her for weeks and then will randomly pop back up.

I don't care too much about what she says because it is clear to me she wants me out of her way. I approached him about it and he admitted that she had been to his house for a party but never stayed. He claims they exchanged numbers when we were apart. That is a complete LIE because I know when they met and we were very much together. Hints why she came after me.

He also exchanged numbers with another girl. Very pretty girl. And she too has been to his house for a party I was not invited to.

Actually, I am NEVER invited to parties he has at his house. He claimed he wanted that time just to hang with his friends. I know he has a few female friends from his past and I do not mind that at all. What I do have a, very SERIOUS, problem with is him meeting new women and inviting them over.

This is not the first instance with a girl. I just can't get over the fact that he BLAMES ME!! He actually got mad at me for "reading and entertaining" it.

The night all of this happened he was asking me what did I think we needed to do to fix this. What could he do etc. I told him he needs to be single. He said he didn't want to be. Then the very next day he called me asking me why I would read it. And was actually upset. He has asked me in the past not to respond to people like that because there are a lot of women that may try to contact me to break us up.

He said I was so weak to get sucked into that and fall for it. I do not buy any of that blame game BS. I just needed to vent.

I don't really have a question, just opinions. Thanks

View related questions: exchanged numbers, facebook, flirt, stalking

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (29 June 2014):

LMFAO honey, you are NOTHING to this guy. Nothing at all. He's your now ex-BF and he never ever considered putting a ring on it! He is already sleeping with LOTS of other women. The handwriting is on the wall and you are history.

You're in the 30-35 range? You're not getting any younger. Move on and try to find someone decent before your ovaries dry up. LOL!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (29 June 2014):

Just break up with him if you haven't. He is a liar and a player, no doubt about that. Let the psycho have him and get on with your life while you still can.

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A female reader, TheSunsWork United States +, writes (29 June 2014):

TheSunsWork is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Thank you for your response WISEOWLE!

I am invited to things like his birthday parties, balls, dates, business trips, holiday functions, work events and I know all of his friends and have met his family. I gave him that time to himself because I spend quite a lot of time with him and I did not see what was so bad about him having an occasional party he wanted to spend with his friends. I won't lie, I never liked that. Quite a weird feeling. But I respected it.

Your response was dead on!! Very happy to have had a mans opinion. Yes, I was definitely his girlfriend, no doubt in my mind about that. I was the girlfriend of a player. And I got seriously played.

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A female reader, TheSunsWork United States +, writes (29 June 2014):

TheSunsWork is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Thank you for responding. I need to clarify some things. She is NOT HURT. He showed me all of her text messages. He said he would not respond for 6 weeks and she still sends countless pictures and messages. I saw that with my own eyes. Text, after text, after text. She (the friend) also said he ignores her for weeks.

In the texts she said "why do you always ignore me!" "Can I please come see you?" "Are you with your girlfriend?" "I am better for you." She also says sexual things, and asks for money for things and is all out determined to make him pay her attention. Don't get me wrong. It is STILL HIS FAULT.

She actually sent him pictures of me that she stole off of my private social media page. She created a fake page to get into my account.

The "friend" tries to act like she is warning me. I know this friend is make believe. "They" found out about me 2 weeks after she met him so there is no way she fell in love.

The friend herself said they only have seen each other once a month either out at a club or at his house. Very rarely any more than that.

Also, she has contacted me countless times over the course of the year but only said things that could be lies so I didn't hold much to what she said.

Anyway, it is not about her, it is about him. I really appreciate your response. I wish I had added that info before.

When she found out about me, she asked him and he told her exactly who I was. She has known the truth for a very long time. She was trying to get me out of the way.

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A male reader, WiseOwlE United States + , writes (29 June 2014):

Your boyfriend has a huge ego and a powerful since of entitlement.

He hasn't really fallen in-love yet. He knows he's good-looking and rich. He's playing the field, but likes a favorite he can keep waiting for him; when he feels like spending his time with her. One of his harem.

He's the stereotypical playboy. Women throw themselves at him, and you caught him in a lie. I can't imagine that you were at all surprised. If he never invited you to his parties; explain how you could be considered his girlfriend?

That is the weirdest thing I've ever heard. He invites women to his house for parties, not including his "girlfriend?"

Exactly how was it established that you were his girlfriend? Sounds like "girlfriend" was just a pet-name he threw your way. Good thing you decided to just let him go. He's nothing but a cheap player with money in the bank.

Well, I guess you're the woman scorned and just wrote a post to vent. We live and learn. You can expect a certain amount of arrogance from the type; but I'm afraid he had no respect for you, and cared even less about your feelings.

In fact, women are toys and property. They're too easy for him to get.

Just like a player! If you catch him cheating or in a lie, it somehow ends-up being your fault that it happened.

I guess you know that he was purposely insulting your intelligence, just to piss you off. He knew your next move was out the door. That's how he rolls. Piss one off, to make room for the next one.

Don't look back. You can still do better. He already has a psycho with her sites on him. Get out of her way, you don't need to be a part of that drama.

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A female reader, janniepeg Canada + , writes (29 June 2014):

janniepeg agony auntI assumed you were the one who broke up with him. My opinion is that the other woman felt played, and was trying to warn you about his womanizing ways. I don't think she wants him all by herself, this is what your ex wants you to believe. She is angry because she has been lied to for a year. Throughout the year she fell in love with him, wondering all the time why it can't be anything more than a fling, and listening to his lies. She's stalking you to find out if you are real, and what you have that she doesn't. When she can't hold it in anymore and wants to screw it and end the her affair she did it by contacting you. She wants your ex to suffer the consequences for lying to both women. I agree your ex needs to be single and you did the right thing by breaking it off. Fooling around is still cheating. Women can be gold diggers but few can forgive being lied to and strung along.

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