Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Fabulosa  +, writes (25 January 2011):
 She should spend the 8 hours she would normally work to search for a job. And beggars can't be chooser. Put in 8 applications everyday minimum! Id rather flip burgers, bag groceries, or clean toilets than subject myself and my marriage to that.What if she can't find people to pay her for her internet porn? Would she do it in a hotel room? Should she let them touch her? Or have sex with them. Its not far off.Anyways Idk why you post this question when you are defending her actions.
A
female
reader, Fabulosa +, writes (25 January 2011):
She should spend the 8 hours she would normally work to search for a job. And betters can't be chooser. Put in 8 applications everyday minimum! Id rather flip burgers, bag grocerys, or clean toilets than subject myself and my marriage to that.
What if she can't find people to pay her for her internet porn? Would she do it in a hotel room? Should she let them touch her? Or have sex with them. Its not far off.
Anyways Idk why you post this question when you are defending her actions.
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A
male
reader, dirtball +, writes (24 January 2011):
 Well, since you don't like the ideas that have been presented, you could always take over the roll of her "manager." You could solicit your friends to visit the site and spend their money to see your wife. Who knows, with proper promotion you may be able to live off just her internet porn income!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 January 2011): Well, it won't happen over night but you've got to keep looking.
A day care from home would be the best idea.
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A
male
reader, bassmetal +, writes (24 January 2011):
bassmetal is verified as being by the original poster of the question its funny you should mention that because the schools around hear just laid off dozens of workers and aides and she applyed to like two area daycres and no result.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 January 2011): Youwish has made some great points there:
How about a day care from home? Even a cleaning job is better than nothing.
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A
male
reader, bassmetal +, writes (24 January 2011):
bassmetal is verified as being by the original poster of the questionShe already tried the daycare thing we dont know anyone who needs their kids watched and pretty soon we r going to be living in a two bedroom apartment. We pretty much cut back on everything
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (24 January 2011):
 What do you do for a living full time that isn't paying the bills in the US? Do you have debts? If so, you need to reduce your expenses big time. Maybe the house is too much for you right now.
She doesn't want to put her kids into day care? Is that it? Why doesn't she get certified to run a day care out of her house? That is a fantastic way to earn money, and it won't be as a prostitute.
She could clean houses and bring her kid with her, or work at a school, or work AT a daycare like a friend of mine did for years. She could be a nanny as well.
There is no excuse for her to be doing this crap if you're not specificly and enthusiasticly in agreement with it. It's cheating, in my opinion. Saying "it's for the kids" is a load of hogwash.
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A
male
reader, bassmetal +, writes (24 January 2011):
bassmetal is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWhen I ask why she has not found a "real job" yet she tells me that "I can not magically make money or jobs appear nor can I force someone to hire me- i doing everything I can"
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A
male
reader, bassmetal +, writes (24 January 2011):
bassmetal is verified as being by the original poster of the questionShe is still looking and so am I and we do look like once a day at least. Nothing yet- its only been a couple of monthes but we r loosing our home so she told me we need to do something now while still seeking another job. Also she cant seem to find a job opening with a scedule oppisite to mine in order to keep our kids outta daycare. Which her working and putting the kids in daycare would be pointless since her income would basically pay for daycre she might as well stay home. Its not that shes above working a "real" job she used to work two but now the relative that was sitting for us in unable to do it she had to leave her job.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 January 2011): There are jobs out there. They may not be jobs that your wife particularly wants to do but anything is better then degrading herself like that.
Now, you can sit here and piss and moan about it or you and your wife can sit down like adults and discuss better ways of improving your finances.
There is a way out of it but you need to put some effort in and actively search every single day for employment and not give up until you've found something.
Excuses don't get you anywhere they just hold you back.
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A
male
reader, bassmetal +, writes (24 January 2011):
bassmetal is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI have talked to her about it but she always tells me the same thing- we r desparte and she is still seeking an alteranative way to find an income. She also says our childrens needs come before my emotional needs. Our friends r useless most of them live with their parents. Neither one of us really have any relative to turn to since she has no dad, mine is dead and both our mothers are either mentally unstable or poor too.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 January 2011): You've posted 3 times about this. I think you should speak to your wife about it.
Can't you ask friends or family to help out in some way?
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A
male
reader, bassmetal +, writes (24 January 2011):
bassmetal is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI failed to mention that she has always had jobs(at sum point two) and left to keep our babies outta daycare. She is still seeking employment with an oppisite scedule to mine(I work full time until 4:40pm) but it has been unsuccesful. We r loosing our house and she feels desparte. We have looked into everything from selling avon to babysitting but no luck.
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A
female
reader, Fabulosa +, writes (23 January 2011):
I thought she was hiding it from you? Your storys not adding up. Anyways burger king pays 8.00 an hour so if you both get a job there full time that's over 600 a week. That's a much better way than prostituting your wife out to a buch or weirdo on the internet. Seriously !
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A
female
reader, OhGetReal +, writes (23 January 2011):
 Oh, for craps sake, she does this for money? She or you can't generate any money any other way?What a load of crap. There are plenty of hourly jobs out there that people are not signing up for, to put your marriage and integrity on the line for the sex trade shows a lack of character and moral fiber and you are simply asking for trouble. Your marriage is in the dumper and the victims in this scenario are your two kids.Tell your wife to start up a different business. Pet sitting service, maid or house cleaning service. Make craft items and sell them on ETSY.com. She chose sex chat because she gets something out of it, control over men using her sexuality.Sad.
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A
male
reader, bassmetal +, writes (23 January 2011):
bassmetal is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWell we are hard up on money right now and neither one of us can generate an income any other way. I am very insecure about it and talk to her daily about it. AShe tells me that I have nothing to worry about and I want to believe her. We do have 2 children to gether so its more than just us so leaving is pretty much out of the question. It just tears me up in side. Thank you all for your responses.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (23 January 2011): Lol, no you shouldn't, maybe wait until she does mass broadcasts then you should be worried.
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A
male
reader, the_phoenic  +, writes (23 January 2011):
yes you should be worried
and if you dont have children togather divorce her
and find a good woman
there are plenty of good woman every where
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A
female
reader, ailemaaax  +, writes (23 January 2011):
Yes, you should be worried. Perhaps you should ask her how she would feel if you were doing the same things. She'll likely say she wouldn't like you doing them, and perhaps this will make her see what she is doing is WRONG.
If she says she wouldn't mind you doing what she is doing, she is either lying to make herself look better, doesn't really care about you or your marriage, or is seriously troubled -- what kind of person thinks it's okay to have cybersex with other when when she is married? NOT the kind of person you want to be married to, that's who!
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female
reader, Anonymous 123  +, writes (23 January 2011):
 Is this question for real?
Your wife indulges in cyber sex and hides stuff from you and you're asking IF you should be worried?? Please....Thats hardly a cause of worry! Are u KIDDING me???
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female
reader, Fabulosa +, writes (23 January 2011):
If other men r seeing her naked no matter how its bad. Also she's outrun a lot of trust in these men because they can keep the images and do crazy hits with it. She needs to put an end to it!
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female
reader, OhGetReal +, writes (23 January 2011):
Why do you want to be with a narcissistic, pathological woman who gets off controling men, including you.
I say run like your hair is on fire. She has bad character, low empathy and no morals. She is simply not worth it. If you don't have kids, find this your lucky break and get out of the marriage, she's not worth it and isn't worthy of you.
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female
reader, FancyaMrDarcy +, writes (23 January 2011):
simply answer, yes! what the hell is she playing at? you should not think this is normal! if she really loved and respected you she wouldn't behave in this manner.
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male
reader, rcn +, writes (23 January 2011):
 That's like saying you caught her in laying in bed naked with another man and accept it when she says, "we were just talking." What she's doing is wrong, and it violates your marriage. I would talk to her and re-establish your marital boundaries. Unless this is something you agreed upon for when you got married, it's not something she should be doing with these guys. So, the answer is YES, you should be worried.
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A
female
reader, Abella +, writes (22 January 2011):
 your wife is being cyber-unfaithful. She is sizing up what is available for her out there.
She needs to stop acting like a school girl, and realise that her actions are hurtful at the very least. And downright dangerous to her, your marriage and her relationship with you and disrespectful to you.
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (22 January 2011):
Absolutely you should be worried.
It is a betrayal of you and I'm sure that's how you feel when you think about her exposing herself to other men to get off on.
There is no excuse or verbal acrobatics she can use to justify her behavior. You need to lay it on the line. Either she stops and cuts herself off from the computer and the chat rooms and the webcam, or it's over.
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 January 2011): YES !!! you should definitely be worried , you need to tell her to stop straight away coz she is pretty much cheating and if she loves you more than these sexy chats thans she will stop x :) RED LIPZ XX
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A
male
reader, Kilcardy +, writes (22 January 2011):
Yes.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 January 2011): Should you be worried? She's basically cheating so i would say yes.
Have you spoken to her about these webcam chats? What other things is she hiding?
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