A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have a sex buddy , were a little bit more cause he holds me threw the night when I have to leave he pulls me by the waist in bed just to fall asleep next to him, we hold hands and watch movies we are so close and are always there for each other. Hes amazing :) but we are not official because he's friends with my brother and my brother might not like that idea. Me and this guy have so much chemistry we enjoy each others company. LASTNIGHT we were both drunk , we were at a party and I noticed he was looking at my friend Beth , I was drunk and danced a quick song with his friend Joey, my friend Beth and i came to my house . Then my sexbuddy danny came and brought Joey. We drank alot than Danny MY SEXBUDDY :( kissed my friend Beth . So when joey kissed me I kissed him back , I guess I was upset that my sexbuddy was kissing my friend . So I laid next to Joey kissed him threw the night and he said "Jen your my girlfriend" , I guess this guy Joey loved the way I kissed him so he kept saying cute comments like if I went to the rest room , he'd be like "hurry , come be with me" , at one point Joey said "your my girl" and my sex buddy said "you just met her " so shut up with that .. Why ???? Did my sec buddy say that was he jeleous ?? Well I believe me and my sex buddy Danny made a mistake , by kissing each others friends When we both know we have feelings for each other . Yet , we did it last night and we can't take it back. . So on the right side of the bed was Beth next to her in the middle was Danny my sex buddy and in the middle left was me than on the left was Joey . So you see I was kissing Joey I feel danny touching me like Holding me and I hold him back , he than stops kissing my friend Beth and pretends he's asleep so she can sleep , when she slept I told Joey go to sleep I'm going to sleep and he did , I kinda quit kissing Joey for my sex buddy Danny all it took was his touch . So while Joey and Beth are sleeping me and Danny fuck in the middle of the bed . I'm so thankful they didn't notice. Me and my sexbuddy would make them feel bad since we couldn't help ourselfs. The thing is are me and Danny more than sex buddies ? Why did he pretend to sleep and stop kissing her when he touched my waist I quickly went along and made Joey sleep , cause in my heart who I wanted was Danny DO I NEED TO FORGET DANNY ? with the details I gave you do you think we stopped kissing the other and realized we wanted each other for a reason ? Please , help me, I need advice I can't trust anyone about this , and the person I usually talk to is Danny my sex buddy , and I can't tell him to help me when he's part of my problem .. Please help me
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male
reader, Frank B Kermit  +, writes (25 March 2012):
 First, if you are going to be sex buddies with someone, you have to understand that it comes with certain rules and consequences.
Neither of you has the right to act out on jealousy, because you are not committed to each other. You are just sex buddies.
Him holding you closer..etc...does not make you more than just sex buddies. Going public with your intent to be a couple is the only way for you two to be more than sex buddies.
As for being intimate with other people in any capacity, THAT is what sex buddies do. That is the point. If you want to be in a monogamous relationship, then make it clear. Otherwise, it is just sex between friends, and the two of you acting jealous is out of place.
At this link is an article I wrote on sex between friends and radio interview I did on the subject. I think it will give you the guidelines you are both missing.
Good luck, and I hope the article helps
http://www.franktalks.com/friends-with-benefits/
-Frank
A
female
reader, janniepeg +, writes (25 March 2012):
 I think all of you are creating excuses of why you can't be in a relationship. What happened the next morning when you are sober? Getting drunk and relationships don't mix, but you can't blame your mess on the alcohol. Let's see how long you can play this game before you get burned. My belief is that if you are not ready for a relationship, you should be single. There is no in-between relationships or anything ambiguous. A semi relationship makes you vulnerable for third parties, misunderstandings and abuse of boundaries.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (24 March 2012): I think you should make things official if you really like this person. If you cannot make things official IE boyfriend and girlfriend because your brother would physically harm danny. if this is not the case that brother would not physically harm danny and would just have objections than I would say you are making a molehill out of a mountain.
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