A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:ok i got involved with this guy, and my parents being bossy and overbearing hired a private detective to find out about him, i didnt know this, anyways they came to me and said all these things about him and then they said that they found out he was married. well that came as a shock. i didnt say anything to them and just left, they believed i broke up with him, anyways the next time we met i told him what my parents had done and i asked him if it was true. i said it nicely. he was upset and then he said that he married her to get in the country and that they dont live together it just says so in the papers, i believed him cause its very common here people from proplamatic countrys who cant get in marry people already living here and then they can get in.anyways i phoned him a couple days ago, and he was acting strange he wasnt talking to me like he usually does and then he just hang up on me, i phoned him back and asked him what happened he said he thought we finished talking. before he hang up i heard a baby in the back round. now i know he has 2 kids, i was upset and when i met him next i asked him about it he said that he was holding the baby and a chain clanked by the phone. and when i asked him if he was with his ex girlfriend he laughed and said i was a jealous bitch.am i just over reacting? ive had people who cheated and lied to me bfore, and i might be a bit sensitive do you think its anything to worry about? i was also suspicious that maybe the kids are actually his wifes, or something. what should i do?
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broke up, ex girlfriend, his ex, jealous Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Viv Acious  +, writes (15 November 2010):
Hello.
Let's just break this down into the bare facts for a moment.
1. You meet a man who does not tell you he is married. Whether it is a 'paper marriage' or a 'real' marriage. He did not reveal his status to you. This is called Deception. Warning - first red flag goes up.
2. I am slightly confused over this baby/children situation. You write that he has two children. Where do these children live? How old are these children - do you know? Is this baby his? You are suspicious that the children are his wive's kids - you mean that he is not the father?
To be honest with you, there isn't a huge amount I can comment on without further information. Where does he live? have you been there? May I suggest you ask some further questions and find out exactly who it is you are seeing.
Also, being called a jealous bitch is really, rather unpleasant, isn't it? It doesn't really make your heart glow with romantic love, does it? Another red flag!
A
female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (15 November 2010):
 Your parents were concerned enough to hire a private detective, you find out he's married with two children, he calls you a jealous BITCH and you wonder what you should do?
You should RUN! Good grief, your parents have just done you a huge favor and saved you from making a huge mistake. If you cannot see that getting involved with a nasty married man who lies and hides things from you is the biggest mistake of your life, I don't know how to help you.
RUN!
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (15 November 2010):
 This guy is bad news. Leave immedeately. He is married, whether it is only on the paper or not, he likely has children, what else is he not telling you? He doesn't sound like someone trustworthy at all. On top of it all he is verbally abusive and called you a jealous bitch. I do not think you are over-reacting, I think you are under-reacting. You need to get rid of this guy.
He hung up on you, and if he actually cared the slightest he could have easily called you back. This man reeks and it's not of anything good. I think he is feeding you with many lies. Don't trust him.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 November 2010): oh, eyes, You hit it on the head.
2 kids, married ?? and he only helped her get legal papers to enter the country. did he have to have 2 babies with her as well.
you claimed that your parents are bossy and over bearing. i think you need to say THANK YOU to them . or else you would never have known about this fraud.
LoveGirl
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (15 November 2010):
 He's married with 2 kids! Tell him you'll talk to him after the divorce. I hardly think you are being too sensitive, in fact I think you are being rather obtuse.
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