A
female
age
16-17,
anonymous
writes:HELPP! my parents caught my bf fingering me... and they havent spoken to me since (it happened last night and havent talked to me all night and today) are they disappointed..? sad? will they ever get over it? im so depressed right now because i love my parents and they never said anything about this kind of stuff except for sex and i should always be safe and are they just scared that im growing up? my friends keep telling me that please and thanks!
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female
reader, missymalone  +, writes (16 April 2009):
 im around the same age as you and ive done fingering everybody was saying to me i was too young but i dont htink i was we're not going to go any futher but back to your situation you're going to have a lecture coming your way when your parents get over the shock n i dont think your boyfriend will be allowed in your room agenadn think of their point of view your their little girl and they've just realsed your growing up ... alot hope that lecture isnt too bad email me if you need to talk
A
female
reader, LovesJamie +, writes (22 November 2008):
Of corse they are shocked they are your parents and you there little girl and it is hard to see that happening to your own child, any age. They probably have no idea what to say to you but when they have thought it through they will speak to you, maybe with your boyfriend aswell. I wouldn't worry to much though. Things should die down.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (22 November 2008): Well I doubt it's just that you're growing up. The fact that some strange boy is pleasuring/violating their daughter would also be a concern for your parents.
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A
female
reader, Ginalolabridga + ♥, writes (22 November 2008):
 Hi,
Your parents will be more than shocked their little girl is growing up! with that comes a whole load of problems they have not had to face before now!
Maybe you could talk to your mum and try and stop her from worrying that it will go further at your age i hope it won't go further and maybe it is time now for you to talk to your parents adult to adult because you are venturing into adult behaviour and i can see why they will be worried having had 3 kids myself i know the worry is something you carry for life!!
Have a talk and tell them you just got carried away and that nothing else happened if i was your mum mind you i would have had that chat with you by now!
Ginalolabridga
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A
male
reader, Phsyciatrist-to-be + ♥, writes (19 November 2008):
 Sounds to me like your parents are just in a state of shock. It's obvious that you need to resolve this issue, but i would find out if they're ready to discuss it yet. I dont think they're scared of you growing up, but I imagine that they're a bit horrified at the thought of you, so young, engaging in that sort of activity. What's their opinion of sex before marriage?
If you do get to talk to them, you must make it clear that you are becoming independant and you and your BF are very close, AND that he doesnt want to have sex before he's married. That one at least should ease their fears.
Good luck!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 November 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionwell.. we had to do a project and we thought my parents were asleep so we were fooling around and i know about safe sex and dont plan on having it for a VERY long time my bf is saving sex for marrige and so am i how do i reassure them that i wont have sex if thats what their thinking i have a promise ring and everything
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A
male
reader, yum yum  +, writes (19 November 2008):
 Well maybe your parents are shocked at what they saw and have difficulty handeling it. They will come round to it.
However I suggest that you make sure next time when you engage in a sexual activity with your boy friend you should do it in a private place were nobody can see you doing it.
Take care.
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A
male
reader, Austinalive  +, writes (19 November 2008):
Of course they are disappointed. And they aren't afraid of you growing up, they are afraid of you growing up TOO fast. 13-15 year old? Come on girl, there will be time for fingering... slow down.
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A
female
reader, MissUnique +, writes (19 November 2008):
 Wow. Teenage flashback. When I was 14 my brother came in while my bf was fingering me. He just went red, turned around and walked out. He didn't talk to me for a fortnight. But it's different when it's your parents. It's like an unwritten law that your parents have to forgive you eventually. I would say your friends are sort of right, you are growing up except they're probably scared that you're only 13-15 and you're doing that especially when none of you have ever talked to eachother about it. I mean I'm not saying go and suddenly start talking to them about it. But maybe they're afraid you're growing up too FAST rather than just growing up.God. I know I haven't explained it well but they're just afraid you're growing up too fast, really. Talk to your Mom first, I think she would understand more than your Dad at first. Good luck!!
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A
female
reader, birdynumnums + ♥, writes (19 November 2008):
 Well, if you put the shoe on the other foot and you had walked in on your parents, THAT would freak You out a bit, right? They are probably shocked and disappointed, and when you did start to explore your sexuality, they didn't expect to be audience participation! I'm pretty sure there is an uncomfortable lecture coming your way, young lady! And Yes, they still love you, but they are worried about how far you are going, because that is a little bit too far. They probably want some reassurance from you that you know what you are doing and how to protect yourself. Remember, the average age for sex is 17-18, so you are a bit ahead of the game at 3rd base already. Take good care of yourself with the decisions that you make for yourself! You can't rewind these choices and you don't get a start over!
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