A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm dating a Marine who is 21 and I'm 22. We've been dating "officially" for about 9 months now but we liked each other throughout high school.He deployed last October for 7 months and will go on his next deployment later this year . It'll be another long deployment overseas. My problem is that I am so convinced that we could make it through this deployment. I love everything about him and really want to be there for him. He's a great boyfriend and does as much as he possibly can for me even while being so far away. I'll get to see him for about a week on his predeployment leave. My parents don't approve of our relationship based solely on the fact that they think I'm missing out on college experiences, which I feel like I am too. I don't want to waste these precious years of my life especially if he and I don't work out in the end. If we do end up being together, I don't want to ever have a reason to resent him over something that isn't his fault. It's not like I didn't know what I was getting myself into when we started dating. It's just that the closer we get to his deployment, the more anxious I'm becoming. I know I'm going to be a nervous wreck everyday for 7 months whether I'm with him or not. I would never cheat on him and 7 months with barely any contact is making me feel almost claustrophobic. I don't want to break up with him on predeployment leave because I really do love him but I don't know why I'm having such a hard time sorting my feelings out. Any opinions are greatly appreciated. Take Care. Reply to this Question
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male
reader, sebaslookingforward  +, writes (3 March 2011):
I agree with aunt honesty too. From personal experience, LDRs are more difficult to hold. If you truly love him, and commit yourself to the LDR, then you wouldnt cheat on him. If you believe you cant wait 7 months, move on, but dont cheat.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 March 2011): That is a long time to wait for someone and miss out on opportunities without him giving you an engagement ring or proposing. I believe it's not fair of him to ask you for such a sacrifice on his behalf without giving you a firm commitment for the future. Your parents are right.
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A
female
reader, hotinlove  +, writes (3 March 2011):
I agree with Aunt Honesty, talk to your man about your feelings. LDR are hard, but they are possible. I think if you do love him and he loves you that much, you can make it thru his deployment. As far as missing out on things, he will be gone for 7 months, are you going to hide in a closet the whole time? No! It gives you more freedom, you still have the love of your life, but you have the chance to go and do things because he is out of town anyway.
You said that you feel that you are missing out on things already, if thats something you cannot live with for the rest of your life, you need to talk to your man about it. Smart decisions take time, good luck!
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (3 March 2011):
 Off course your going to have a hard time coming to terms with it, you love him and you dont want him to leave thats totally understandable. But if you love him you may end up regretting it in the long run. I understand your parents concerns really I do but you dont need to miss out on any college experiences just because you have a boyfriend. He will be away a lot and this doesnt stop you going out socializing with your friends and doing other college stuff the only thing you will be missing out on is dating other guys but if you already have a boyfriend then you really wont be missing out on much.
I'll not lie to you long distant relationships are very hard and take a lot of work to keep them going. I think you should talk to your boyfriend about your worries and he might be able to put your mind at ease. Goodluck and all the best.
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