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My mother in-law came onto me and I accepted. Now I don't know what to do!

Tagged as: Big Questions, Cheating, Dating, Family, Forbidden love, Marriage problems, Three is a crowd, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (6 September 2008) 5 Answers - (Newest, 4 October 2008)
A male United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

About three months ago I was visiting my wife's parents for her uncle's 45th birthday celebration. The party was a great time, and we were all taking advantage of the open bar.

I don't want to go into too much detail, but what basically happened was after quite a few drinks my mother in-law made a pass at me and I reciprocated. We didn't sleep together, but we did sneak away and basically spent the next few minutes kissing and feeling each other up. Nothing happened after that night, and for the remaining few days of the trip it was as if nothing happened. My mother in-law acted as if it didn't occur. I don't even know if she remembers.

I do feel guilty for what happened, but I also really enjoyed it. I've also convinced myself that it was her mother and not somebody else so that's removed some of the guilt (not all of it). Looking back I can see how a couple of occasions may have been her flirting with me, but never thought of it that way before now. I've never cheated before and have never even thought to do so before or after. Her parents appear happily married and I've been married to my wife also happily for about two and half years. Do I confront my mother in-law and risk reminding her if she did forget?

View related questions: flirt, kissing

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (4 October 2008):

. This is you wife's MOTHER and will be your kids' GRANDMOTHER!!!!

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (15 September 2008):

It hasn't been very long since I posted my question and I'm sure I probably need to wait it out longer, but it has been very difficult to let that moment just go away.

I didn't mention before, but my mother-in-law has been emailing me more often lately. I used to get just the occasional forwarded joke, or quick question about something, but now it's a little more. Emails like I can't want till you visit for the holidays, and I wish there was something else going on soon so that there would be another reason for you to come back earlier. Maybe I'm just being paranoid, but she's only emailing me directly which wasn't the case before.

I'm obviously emailing back so I'm not being rude but making sure my emails are very harmless. The thing is that it's too the point now that I can't stop thinking about what happened, and I seem to just find myself fantasizing about it. The horrible thing is that it makes me feel better than ever when I think of her and remember that night. On the surface I'm avoiding the situation, but deep down I like the idea that she might want me, too...

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (6 September 2008):

The best way to deal with it is to be very cool physically with your mother in law - don't make it too obvious in front of your wife but make sure she knows where she stands and that you regret any single thing she might remember - perhaps forget to kiss her on the cheek a few times when you leave that kind of thing. She needs to get the message loud and clear. I don't wish to worry you but if your wife ever goes to her mother with any concerns about your faithfulness in the future, for whatever reason, she may just use what happened to help get rid of you turning it around saying you made a massive pass at her once and that she knew you were a cheat all along. I doubt there would be many women who would think their own mother a liar. You have been very foolish but we don't need to tell you that. Steer clear of her.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (6 September 2008):

Never forget it.

Forgetting is the first step to repeating.

You don't need to talk to her about it, however you should... you owe each other that. But I would advise making a solid vow to never EVER look at another woman like that again. EVER.

I don't care how Milfy that mother in law is. You tap your wife's ass and your wife's ass alone.

Flynn 24

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A reader, anonymous, writes (6 September 2008):

She'll have remembered alright! No doubt she's feeling just as guilty as you are - if not more so having spoiled the mother/daughter relationship - and is putting it to the back of her mind. Maybe you should do the same. If your wife found out there would be repercussions on a massive scale.

Others will no doubt say to confess and let your wife know what went on, but if I were you I'd put it down to experience and be careful not to get into the same sort of situation again, because if there is another time it will almost certainly lead on to a more serious incident.

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