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My husband had an affair but the woman would not leave him alone.

Tagged as: Cheating, Forbidden love, Three is a crowd<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (28 December 2013) 7 Answers - (Newest, 2 January 2014)
A female South Africa age 41-50, anonymous writes:

Please help. My hubby had an affair with this girl about 2 years ago and we resolved the issue. But now th ex refuses to let go. She calls my husband's phn daily, sometimes with different numbers, even up to more than 10 times each day and says sh wll nt give him rest because he asked her out in th first place and therefore he shld not leave her. She thretens him and says he has to love her or else he shall have no peace. He tried changing lines but she keeps trekking him and even clls my own number. My husband says i shld nt worry bcz he wll always ignore her and block her number. But for hw long is h going t resist this woman's calls? Its really getting me frustrated and worried.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (2 January 2014):

Well, you're not dealing with a normal person obviously. She may have mental issues. Perhaps, you should alert the police. She will try to be more than a nuisance. She may try to cancel your phone line or worse. I am speaking from experience with a family friend becoming mentally unstable and doing exactly what you claim the person you are dealing with does to you.

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A female reader, Ciar Canada + , writes (29 December 2013):

Ciar agony auntIs it his say so alone you're getting all this from or have you been able to verify any of it with independent sources?

I'm concerned about how this woman came to have not only your husband's new cell phone number but yours as well. As far as I know cell phone numbers are not listed in any public directory in any jurisdiction I know of. Do you have mutual friends who could have given them to her?

As far as trusting your husband goes, he has ZERO credibility so I wouldn't rely on him to be truthful or handle this situation effectively.

Personally, I would turf him out of the house until this matter is resolved. You shouldn't be made to suffer for his good time.

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A female reader, llifton United States +, writes (28 December 2013):

llifton agony auntRestraining order.

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A female reader, Daisy_Daisy United Kingdom +, writes (28 December 2013):

Daisy_Daisy agony auntI agree with Sage, he can change his number again and only give it out to trusted friends and family ... if he really wants. You can change your number too. He can refuse to answer unrecognised numbers ... if he chooses. Or, not sure how it works in your country, but he might be able to report her to the police for harassment - that should stop her. It's up to your husband.

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A female reader, KC12 United States +, writes (28 December 2013):

KC12 agony auntThis person has become a stalker, and if she's making threats you should definitely contact the police.

"no means no" applies to women, as well as men. If he really doesn't want to talk to her, keeps blocking her, etc. And, she still keeps trying and making threats...then she is way out of line.

What are the nature of these threats? Are they against you, and is she threatening physical harm to either of you? If so you absolutely should contact the authorities. I also recommend restraining order, and definitely a "cease and desist all contact" letter from a law practice.

If he's doing ANYTHING to encourage this (which from what you said sounds like he didn't) then he needs to stop, if he values your marriage. IF he's not doing anything to encourage this, and asking her to stop then you should take my aforementioned advice and take legal action against her.

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A male reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (28 December 2013):

olderthandirt agony auntyou're right to worry. she's obviously obsessed and that means it is not going to end well. Have you thought about getting a restraing order? If your husband won't consider one then there is a possibility that he might be "stringing her along" and not admiting it.

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A male reader, Sageoldguy1465 United States +, writes (28 December 2013):

Sageoldguy1465 agony auntAny contact that takes place between this girl and your hubby IS THE RESPONSIBILITY OF YOUR HUBBY!!!!! .... and, if he chooses NOT to discontinue it (the contact) THEN you know that the affair is NOT "over"......

In this day and age, there's no reason that hubby cannot purge her from his (hence, your's) life.....

Watch out!!!!

Good luck....

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