A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My gf has recently been in a car crash, she didn't get a serious damage and neither did the driver only now shes been home for about a week now and shes extremely emotional and very vunerable she doesn't seem to want to go out as if she scared. Everytime i ask her whats wrong she always says nothing and trys to change the subject. She has also gone very quiet on everyone and just sits there, doesn't speak to anyone unless necessary or shes asked something. What can i do to built up her confidence again,get her out and about abit more and make her happy again?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 March 2007): sounds like she is suffering from post tramatic stress syndrome and this is very common in situations such as this. other than professional councelling and meds if it gets worse, u will just have to comfort her and encourage her to get back on her feet and face her fears. it takes time, some need longer, but she will get there soon enough. jsut be patient
A
female
reader, birdynumnums  +, writes (6 March 2007):
 Hello,
Even though is was a minor accident with minor injuries, people go through a lot of shock, flashbacks and soul searching after a car crash. Sometimes it is the first time that you have feared your own death and the fact that you had this near-death moment leaves us worried about when it will happen to us and why we just escaped it. It will get better with time. Don't force her to try things she's not comfortable with right now. If she is still afraid of cars, maybe try a bike ride or train ride, something that gets her more comfortable with transportation again. Do try to get her out of the house and take her mind off dwelling on it. Bring over some movies and then suggest going OUT to a movie. Take baby steps and she will be back to her old self in time. You are a very considerate boyfriend to ask for help on her behalf, don't get discouraged if she is quiet or lashes out right now, she's not herself and it's not personal. Most people take a little time to get over this - your help is important but if you do think she is getting worse over time, get her coucelling. Godd Luck to you Both.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (6 March 2007): assure her that you are there for her tell her you love her and if she ever wants to talk that you will be there to talk to ask her if she wants therepy. ask her what she wants not what you can do to help but keep telling her you love her flatter her, charm her, give her what she would like be it flowers ice cream or even pleasure if not pursuade her to get out even to the mall or a resturant but DONT DRIVE walk because she may stil be afriad of cars and other vehicles try to spen as much money as possible be romantic DONT tell her to go out ask her but push lightly on going out. Keep in touch and let me know how it goes.
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A
female
reader, charly16 +, writes (6 March 2007):
Just give her as much support as u can.she needs it from family and friends too though. \good luk
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A
female
reader, DrPsych +, writes (6 March 2007):
 Many people need time to get over traumatic events like car crashes. It is not about the seriousness of the crash in her mind - she is just reviewing the possibility of it being very serious and feeling nervous of going out to places where she would risk harm again. A few years ago I was stabbed in the leg in a mugging and I also felt nervous about going out unescorted for a while. If it doesn't get better, I think you should get her to see a doctor as she may develop a post-traumatic stress disorder. However, it is quite a recent event and she may get back to her usual self in time - just be supportive.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 March 2007): She needs you to be there for here and some TLC. It is very traumatic have a car crash or just being in a one. I ran into a parked car two years ago doing 70mph,if it hadn't been for the seat belt and air bag i would of been dead, so i know what i am talking about. I still get flash backs. Just be kind and gentle with her and in time she will get over it and be back to her normal self. If this does go on for some time, then i suggest she goes along and has a word with her doctor who may be able to help.
Take care
xx
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A
female
reader, AskEve +, writes (6 March 2007):
 Why don't you send her a card saying how much you care for her, letting her know that you're so glad she came out of the crash unscathed, it made you realise just how much you DO feel for her. Bring her a big bunch of flowers the next time you go round to see her, that should perk her up!
She'll be very introvert just now and could be going through delayed shock. Try and get the chance to talk to her when you are both alone. If, next time you ask her what's wrong she says nothing, try and draw her out. When a woman says "nothing" what she is really saying is.... "if you really want to know then ask some more questions, that way we'll see if you're really interested." So ask again! Tell her she's been really quiet and you're worried about her, give her a cuddle and tell her you hate to see her this way. She'll soon open up if you continue to talk to here and draw her out.
Eve
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