A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My girlfriend is pregnant. She's about 4 months along, and her stomach is getting bigger. I think it's glorious that she's carrying our child but for the past month or so I haven't found her very sexually attractive. I have started flirting with a woman at work, I can't help but notice how flat her stomach is compared to my girlfriends... I know it's terrible, but I can't stop fantasizing about her... We have been spending time together out of work for the last week. I didn't tell my girlfriend because I don't want to stress her out, but how do I deal with this? She's just not the woman that she used to be... I miss her body.Thanks.
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female
reader, tmjohns +, writes (8 January 2009):
Hi there,
I am currently 6 1/2 months pregnant. I can promise you that your girlfriend is just going to get bigger. I think it is normal to not feel attracted to her in the same way as you did before. I also think that she probably did not want a lot of sex with you in the beginning but that was probably due to morning sickness which actually lasts all day long. I think it is natural to fantasize about other people however you need to get your priorities straight. You do not realize this but your girlfriend knows how you feel. You are doing more damage by lying than you are protecting. You either need to be straight with your girlfriend or quit hanging out with the other one. Just think about it you could be having a little girl who one day will date ... do you want her to end up with someone like you?
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 August 2008): She might become hot again you could wait it out, who knows, but she might get really fat. Either way after the birth she is gonna be really lose, and thats not good, so yeah, get some hot, tight poontang on the side, and keep it on the downlow. Its possible to still love your girlfriend and support your child and satisfy your manly needs.
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A
female
reader, wanna_baby +, writes (12 August 2008):
 she can't help it.shame on you.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 July 2008): You shallow, pathetic little man. Your post made me so angry. Are you really considering cheating on your pregnant girlfriend because she doesn't have a flat stomach? You're disgusting. Maybe you should have thought about this before you got the poor girl pregnant.
As someone else mentioned she is sacrificing her body to bring a life into the world with you as her partner - what a huge mistake she had made because if you're thinking this now what will you be thinking when she nine months gone and can barely walk, when she desperately needs your support and help? Will you be busy with miss flat stomach?
You need to grow up. Because if the only problem you can come up with is that your girlfriend doesn't have a flat stomach while she's growing your child then you don't deserve a girlfriend or a child.
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A
female
reader, duskyrowe  +, writes (29 July 2008):
 So young man did you get the answer you wanted???? No I thought not!!
I hope for your sake she does not find out about you finding her sexually unattractive and that you are sniffing out a new bit of skirt. Otherwise you would have to live with the guilt for the rest of your life if you ever lose her and the baby. So think about what us Aunts are saying to you and support your lovely girlfriend and baby.
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A
female
reader, TELLULAH +, writes (29 July 2008):
 You complete git. How could you do that?
I am sure there are many men out there that dont find thier partners atractive whilst pregnant. But to go out with another girl, just because of this beggars belief.
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A
female
reader, shandygirl +, writes (29 July 2008):
 RIGHT ON Uncle Phil! I Love You!
And may I add... If this other girl could see this letter that you wrote to us... if she had any decent bone in her body... she would dump you as though you were a pile of "Dog Poo" covered in maggots! (gross picture, huh guys?)
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A
female
reader, kitty.letterbox  +, writes (29 July 2008):
Your girlfriend has sacrificed her body so the two of you can bring a child into this world. A child is the greatest gift for any father.You don't deserve your girlfriend, man. Get a real problem. Somethign like - 'i'm having our baby that my boyfriend thinks is 'glorious' but he also can't accept that i will grow bigger. How do i give him his baby while not changing shape'. yeah, that'd be a real problem. i'm younger and sincerely hope i don't marry someone like you. grow up please, in the next 5 months preferably.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 July 2008): if you loved your girlfriend you wouldnt care about the size of her stomach, shes carrying your baby! a baby that you made! and now your going off flirting with other women just because her stomach isnt flat anymore. if only she knew what you was doing. your girlfriend does not deserve to be treated like this. you should find her more attractive than ever before now shes carryng your child! find some respect man.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 July 2008): Does this other woman at work know that your girlfriend is 4 months gone? If she does, you deserve each other and you definitely don't deserve your girlfriend.
You don't want to stress your girlfriend out eh? I can't think of a more effective way of doing just that than what you're contemplating now.
I don't know what kind of response you expected from the aunts on here, but it looks unanimous that you need to grow up and act like a man instead of a dog that's got the smell of a bitch on heat.
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A
female
reader, shandygirl +, writes (29 July 2008):
What kind of man are you?! SHAME ON YOU! Stop this nonsense with this other woman right now!
Put yourself in your girlfriend's shoes. Think of yourself as being pregnant...getting bigger every day, and having a boyfriend who isn't MAN ENOUGH to stick by you emotionally and physically. If she ever needed you, she needs you now more than ever. It is time for you to GROW UP!
Love is commitment, understanding, respect, communication, and empathy.
Being a MAN isn't just being able to "Stick your thang" anywhere you feel like it. Being a man is taking responsibility, and being strong enough to resist something that is detrimental to the well being of your woman and your family that is about to come into this world.
There are lots of beautiful women in this world. Are you just going to keep going to the next, then the next... like a bee does to gather honey from the flowers? Plus not to mention the diseases that are out there.
Think rationally BOY.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 July 2008): I guess that's why I think it is not a smart idea for kids at such a young age to get pregnant and start a family. The thing is that at your age your priorities are all mixed up. In your early 20's, alot of kids can be very superficial and hormonal. You prioritize a nice body and things that in the long run you'll realise are not as important as having a good lover and a good companion. But perhaps because of your raging hormones and lack of experience you don't know any better. As you get older and more mature, things like these don't bother you as much. With maturity you become alot more sensitive and you see things for the bigger picture. But right now, you are too young to have the experience to know that. I account this to immaturity. That's why it is best to WAIT as long as possible before making such a huge decision of bringing a baby into the world. But you can't undo what's been done. So you have to deal with it. All I can say is that you got yourself in this situation of becoming a dad, so you need to take responsibility and deal with this like an adult. You had a choice. Maybe you feel like you grew up before your time but this is what you chose. So you need to step up to the plate and be a good father and a good boyfriend, and that means staying faithful. No if's, and's, or but's. You are not a kid anymore, by your OWN choice. So step up. This affair has got to stop and you have got to embrace your wife for what she is today. You need to grow up. Nobody put a gun to your head and made you get in this situation. So deal with it and quit with all the flirting. Its unacceptable.
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A
female
reader, duskyrowe +, writes (29 July 2008):
Oh for for the love of God, please stop flirting with other women. Of course the shape of her body is going alter while she is pregnant. How do you think babies grow? Under the ground like a plant!Women are at their most vulnerable when they are pregnant, there hormones go up the creek and it is a very emotional time for any woman.So grow up and love her, what ever shape or size she is and stop comparing her to other waif type women. Don't forget these other waif type women who you chase will also change shape of their body if they ever get pregnant.So be a man and stop making your gf feel unattractive, pregnant women are beautiful. You are not exactly helping her by making her feel like crap.How would you if you had to carry a weight inside you like a sack of spuds?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 July 2008): Thats a little more than shallow mate.Listen here hun. You're girlfriend is not just a sex object. To love someone enough to bring a child into the world you have to like their personality as well as their appearance. This is why the term exists that love is blind.If you dont want to screw up your kids life then i suggest you take a reality check and get working on being the best father that you can be and forgetting about that woman at work. Especially if you plan on getting into a "physical" relationship with her in any way.A lot of men find that they dont find their girl as sexually attractive when shes pregnant. Thats NORMAL! It's because of the dramatic change that is going through her body at this point in time. But once the baby is born she'll soon go back to how she was and that sex appeal from before will most likely return.Now focus! You're going to be a father soon so shape up! Be the best father that you can be for that kid and make your girl happy. It'll all work out for the best hun, you'll see and you'll be glad once the baby's born that you didnt go for a cold one night stand or messing around with that other woman.Believe me.
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A
female
reader, Hopelessly Hopeful  +, writes (29 July 2008):
In case you havent noticed, you're going to be a dad. You're bringing a life into the world. Its one of the most amazing things that can happen to a person. But if you walk away, if you fall for another woman, if you allow yourself to be unsupportive, that child's life will be filled with hurt and pain...as will his mother's. Attraction is natural and human. Finding yourself attracted to other women...well, let's just say I have a grlfriend too and I know how it works. But feelings are deceptive. The more time you spend alone with that woman from work, the more you risk severing ties that can never be repaired, and the closer you stand to the edge of a very, very long drop. Physical beauty is fleeting. It always will be. Face facts, your body isn't going to look so great forty years from now, either. If you care anything about that grlfriend, about that child, about their lives on the road ahead, then start focusing on what really matters. Love her for who she is and how far you've come together, not how she looks. For crying out loud, she LOOKS the way she does right now solely because of YOU!!! You want to know how to deal? You talk. A Father and a mother have to be honest with each other, or their child has no future. Be sensitive, but be honest. Talk things out with your grlfriend. And for god's sake, don't end that talk with "Fine! Then I'm leaving!"...be supportive. Be open. Love her no matter what...your kid is going to be something to behold. Don't you want his father to be?
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A
female
reader, pinktopaz +, writes (29 July 2008):
Of course she doesn't have the body she used to have, she is carrying your child! Have some self control, and realize that just because you're not finding her sexually attractive does not mean that it's ok to have some fling with a co-worker. That's just wrong. Put yourself in her shoes, women already have a huge problem with their own body image, and being pregnant only makes it worse. And for you to be going out with some other woman--wow. You're selfish. And sorry, I am being biased because I am a woman, but seriously keep it in your pants, that's how she ended up pregnant in the first place!
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