A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:i've been friends with my mate for about 3 years now. of all my friends she's the craziest and wildist. then she met a bloke fell in love and after 2 months she got engaged. she then fell pregnant (having both decided they wanted a baby straight away) but unfortuantly she lost it. 9 months on and they are still together and the wedding is all sorted for a couple of months. they plan to try for a baby again very very soon.then 2 weekends ago myself and my bf went round to their house for a few drinks. my friend's fiance kept getting me alone and saying how beautiful i was. then he went to kiss me. i instantly pushed him away. 2 days later he apologised via text saying he was sorry and blamed the alcohol. I didn't hear from him for the rest of that week.then last weekend he sent me a text saying "we need to talk" @ 2.30am - obviously drunk. the next day he text apologising again but then continued to text me throughout the day asking why i was ignoring him. That night he obviously got drunk and i had 7 calls from him on my phone - i ignored all of them. The next day he texted me saying his mate had got hold of his phone and was messing around.that was last weekend and i have not heard anything else since but i'm thinking what's going to happen this weekend?i don't know what to do? should i tell my friend and break her heart and wreck her life or keep quiet? she organising the hen party and i feel awful.
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female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (28 January 2008):
 I will agree with Shandygirl. You should just keep those dirty secrets to yourself. Your friend will not see it the way you think it happened. She will believe her man and not you. You may lose your friend instead. She could also accuse you of spoiling their relationship.
Just treat it like trash and dump it into the ocean.Think no more of it. You could just ignore those texts and he will stop.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 January 2008): Hi Hunny,
This is hard but if this were me Id have kept all those missed calls and texts and shown them to my friend as this guy is going to break her heart anyway he is a creep, You should let your guy no as well love this is how I would deal with it and Ive had to do a similar thing in the past but Id rather be there for my friend and honest im sorry your going through this TAKE CARE WITH LOVE N HUGS MANDY xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
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A
female
reader, shandygirl  +, writes (26 January 2008):
 I had the same problem once. It was annoying to say the least.He also told me that "We need to talk." And tried to make physical advances to me. He even would come knocking on my door.Next time that he acts like this, you need to BLUNTLY set him straight. Don't worry about hurting his feelings, because evidently he is not worried about hurting your "mate's." Simply tell him to stop it! Tell him that there is NO CHANCE that there will EVER be ANYTHING going on between the two of you! PERIOD! You can also say: "I would NEVER betray my friendship with my mate!"I made the mistake of telling my "mate." She got mad and blamed everything on ME. She said to me "You just want yourself to feel important." I lost her friendship, even though I was extremely loyal to her. It hurt.GOOD LUCK! And, keep us updated! :)
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A
female
reader, birdynumnums  +, writes (26 January 2008):
 If they were married already, or if they were tied together already by having a child, I would say that you should tell him to back off and that if it ever happens again you would tell her. But because they are technically single, and just about to get married, I think that you should tell her before the marriage takes place.She deserves to know how the both of you have behaved. Friends don't allow themselves to be anywhere near their friend's fiance. How is it that you managed to be gotten alone, Dear? He behaved badly, but you were his somewhat unwitting accomplice, and have been since the incident, all week long, by keeping this to yourself. The guilt of being partially responsible here is what is making you feel awful, and and you probably should feel awful. You have a responsibility, as a friend, to tell her the truth. What she does with the truth is up to her.
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