A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Me and my boyfriend broke up a couple of months ago now due to the fact he didn't want a relationship. Since, we have occasionally met up and spend time together which we should not of.. As it only continued to hurt me, not bother him. He has sometimes rang me up saying he missed me and at one point that he wanted to try again, until he woke up the next day (was drunk when saying all this) and changed his mind. However this now hasn't happened for quite a while.I know that I won't be getting him back and I do honestly think that it is for the best for myself, and maybe best that we did break up. However, since the break up I know he has slept with other girls and has genuinely just changed as a person.. Even some of his friends have said he has changed and somehow now thinks he's some sort of 'ladies man'. I'm just overall hurt and disappointed that he has changed to this way. We have always cared for each other and were each other's first loves... But now the way he acts, I wonder if it was real at all? When we were together I could not trust a person more, in literally all aspects.I know I shouldn't care or worry about this but its obviously something that is going to cross my mind.. Why has he become this way? I don't know if maybe he is confused or trying to be something he is not, I understand that he is young and will just be trying to live his life.. But in such a way? Or I don't really know. I'm just disappointed all in all.Since the break up, like I said we met up numerous times however now I know the way he is... I know it's not something I will be giving in to do again. I have to have more respect for myself than that, and to keep running back whenever he wants.I just don't know why he has changed in such a horrible and kind of desperate looking way.
View related questions:
broke up, drunk Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonem  +, writes (4 August 2016):
 Stop bothering about the unimportant.
A
female
reader, llifton +, writes (4 August 2016):
 You said it yourself: he's young. This isn't unusual. You said you were each others first love, so after this ended, he probably decided to enjoy his youth, as many young men and women his age do, and play the field; date around and see what's out there. I don't think it makes him a bad guy to do this. I just think it bothers you because you're not over him yet. Which is also very understandable.
If I were you, I'd cut all contact with him and his friends as much as possible, so that you can try to move on without having to hear all about what he's doing. I know I wouldn't want to hear all that if I were still not fully over someone. To me, the best solution is out of sight, out of mind.
Good luck.
...............................
A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (3 August 2016):
 Block him and accept that this MAY be who he is now. Or at least WANT to be (or think he wants to be).
And then no more meeting up with him, it gives you nothing but false hope and grief.
Some people who end a long term relationship really doesn't KNOW what they want. He knows he doesn't want to be in a relationship (with you) but he also (I think) is scared to let you go in case he doesn't find someone else. YOU are familiar to him, you have on several occasions given him the "gf-experience" that he clams he doesn't want, yet he still wants sex and he KNOWS by telling you he is thinking about getting back together you... might drop your knickers.. and in the past you have.
Now you know. He doesn't know what the HAY HAY he wants, but one thing you DO know, he doesn't WANT a relationship with you. He wants to USE you. Sexually and emotionally. He wants YOU to love him and him to do as he pleases with no strings.
If you don't want to be his F-buddy/FWB you CUT HIM OFF. Wish him well and block his number.
...............................
A
male
reader, N91 +, writes (3 August 2016):
 He's probably just enjoying his new found single life. I had a friend a few months back who broke up with his girlfriend and he was really cut up for about 2 months and I'd never seen him like that before in the whole time I've known him.
Fast forward a couple of months and he absolutely loves being single and being able to chat to whoever he likes without having to worry about upsetting anyone.
If you guys were together for a long time he will obviously not had much experience of being single. I don't think it means he's changed in a horrible way, it's just that you've never seen him single before, you only know him from the time you were together. I wouldn't look at it like he's changed to hurt or annoy you, that's just how he is when he's not in a relationship.
But like you've already said I think it would be better for you guys not to meet up again and for you to concentrate on moving forward.
Good luck
...............................
A
female
reader, singinbluebird +, writes (3 August 2016):
 Sometimes people change, sweetie, all you can do is BE you. All he can be is himself. If he wants to change for better, he needs to learn that on his own. Stop focusing on him. Stop thinking about him. STOP
What you had with him was amazing and special, but also realize that time shifts and people change and emotions evolve. You can still remember him and love him as he was when you were together but if hes moved on, you have to too. Even if he is doing things out of desperation or out of lack of something in him, time catches up. IT ALWAYS DOES, even if hes running away from a feeling or a girl or trying to prove something to himself, ONLY YOU CAN CONTINUE TO BE YOU and cherish what you had with him and move on. His lessons in his life will come to him, a month from now or years from now but thats his journey and not yours
Go out, date men, love yourself, focus on your job, your life, what you can do better yourself. Hes history even if you guys had an amazing time together, allow that to let you grow and just move on. Good luck
...............................
|
