A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have been in LDR with an American girl for two years. We met once in South East Asia and spent two weeks together. I'm 32 and she is 34. She is curvy and always asks me whether, "should I lose weight or not?"Also, if she loses weight, her boobs and butt will become smaller which will something that I won't like. I have an athletic body since I jog a lot. I think she has some female friends there who always advise her to lose weight. So who is right, me or her friends in this regard? Please help me on this. Thank you!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 August 2013): I'm not going to go into the details about this particular situation, but can I just give a WHAT-WHAT! to the guy who digs the curvy girl and isn't afraid to say it!?! Love you, man, the world needs more guys like you! I was a size 12 (US) and my first love told me he felt no sexual attraction for me. Broke my heart. I would love to meet a wonderful man who likes me AS I AM. She's lucky! Move closer and tell her to rid of her neuroses!
A
female
reader, Intrigued3000  +, writes (19 August 2013):
 I think it is sweet of you to find her beautiful as she is. We live in a society with so much pressure to be a certain size / weight, etc. I think that you thinking that she is perfect as is, will help her with her body image issues. Continue to reassure her that you find her beautiful. It always feels good to be appreciated just as we are. We need more lovers like you in the world:)
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 August 2013): I think she should be losing weight for herself and no one else. She should only lose the weight if she feels the need to. I would tell her this plus tell her that you like the way she looks but that she also has to make the decision for herself and no one else! That includes her "friends".
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 August 2013): My. Boyfriend feels that way too, but i am indeed way to overweight as per my cardiologist ... Now if she is just a little curvy and you like it and she s comfortable in her own skin then she shouldn't look to media for these unrelistic visions of beauty they are usually grossly underweight. Neither you nor her are 'right' its a matter of taste comfort and health.
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A
female
reader, YouWish  +, writes (19 August 2013):
 She should do what is healthy for her, naturally. Some people are more predisposed to curviness than others, so being "thin" or "heavy" is a threshold different for everyone. Her doctor and a dietitian are the best for telling her if there are any lifestyle changes that would be good for her.
When she asks you questions like this, she's actually looking for your approval of her. Tell her that she should do what makes her happy and feels good, but as for you, she turns you on right now just as she is, and that every curve on her is hot, and she definitely doesn't need to change for you to be attracted to her, because you're into her big time.
That's all you need to say. You say "you think" she has friends advising her? That may or may not be true, but her asking you the question is a validation question to see whether or not you're into her at her present weight. You are, of course, so you can tell her that!
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (19 August 2013):
 IF she is overweight and needs to lose weight for her health, then that trumps what you like.
My bigger concern is you have been together two years and you have only met once...
when are you ending the distance and who is moving to be with whom?
why are you not together already?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 August 2013): I very much agree with aunty bim bim. If it is of risk to her health, she should loose it.
Other than that, it's no ones choice but hers. If you are the type that will give up on the relationship because you don't like he lack of boobs and butt, then...well you know what I'm thinking. Of course, I'm sure you aren't like that :)
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (19 August 2013):
 It really depends on how you define curvy and if there are any health risks associated with her extra weight.
Her friends may be concerned for her, and her health, where your opinion expresses a concern for your selfish preferences.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 August 2013): She should listen to what she wants. As long as she does it in a healthy way, she should lose weight if that is what SHE wants. Are you sure it's her female friends telling her to or is it something she decided for herself?
At first, it's nice that you like her the way she is, but it seems like it's actually for shallow reasons - her curves. Don't try to convince her NOT to lose weight based on YOUR preferences. She should do what she thinks is right for herself.
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