A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriends roommate is coming between us! His roommate is nothing but a mooch. He eats my boyfriends food, takes his laundry supplies, doesn't help pay for heating in the winter time, and is the rudest human being I've ever met. Last winter his roommate used an electric heater and it racked up an $1000 electric bill which he could not help pay for so my boyfriend paid for the whole thing, now the roommate owes him 500 bucks. He has since bought a brand new car, and most recently bought a 50 inch flat screen, and touch screen stereo for his car. He won't pay my boyfriend back and he hasn't once cleaned up after himself. He makes messes everywhere (i.e the floors, the bathroom, the dishes/kitchen) and my boyfriend cleans it all up. He does his dishes, sweeps up his messes, and cleans the bathroom wen he makes a mess. Every time my boyfriend asks me to help him clean I refuse because I hate his stupid roommate and refuse to take part in cleaning up his messes. This is putting a strain on our two year relationship, he has been living with his roommate for almost a year. Previous to him living with this roommate we didn't have a lot of fights, but lately we have been fighting more because I won't help out with cleaning because I'm not cleaning up after his god awful roommate. Tonight we came home to the dishes we've used stacked in a pile in my boyfriends room. Excuse me, but he doesn't have the right to do that. Especially seeing as how he never cleans up after himself. I'm so fed up with this and talking to my boyfriend about it makes him mad, because he is sick of me bringing it up all the time. What can I do?
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male
reader, Mark1978  +, writes (7 September 2014):
 Your BF needs to man up, grow up and start taking responsibility. Simply giving in, paying out, shutting up and letting himself be used as a door mat is silly.
Your BF is ALLOWING this behaviour. Give your fella an altimatum - him or you!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 September 2014): You're boyfriend needs to stop being such a wet blanket and tell the guy he pays his debts, contributes to the running of the house or leaves. Or your boyfriend leaves to live in another house share. It's not your issue and he needs to get a bit of a back bone and stand up for himself. I would have that douche bag of a room mate out of the door. I would probably also threaten to sell his tv and stuff to get back the money he owes (probably best you don't, as that would be illegal but I think in the circumstances I would be threatening that!)
Maybe stop going to his house, if he wants to see you then he comes to your house - or you go out. But you could say until that idiot of a room mate leaves then you are choosing not to go over, to avoid any arguments or tension.
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A
male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (7 September 2014):
 Give bf a choice; him or me.
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (7 September 2014):
 Your boyfriend's room mate is not your problem. If you boyfriend is silly enough to pay for his room mate's heating bills, so that the room mate now owes him $500 that is your boyfriend's problem.
If your boyfriend's room mate is a dirty grotty individual who wont clean up after himself, guess whose problem that is, I'll give you a hint .... it's not yours!
So, seeing as it is not your problem you can now stop talking, (I suspect it is more like harping), on the subject to your boyfriend. If your boyfriend asks you to help clean his place, you can, quite truthfully, tell him its not your problem.
As for the dishes being placed on the bedroom floor, yes, that's a bit odd, if your boyfriend has a problem with that he needs to take it up with his room mate .... and if you find the room mate's living conditions are too bad for you to accept, then don't visit your boyfriend until they have both cleaned up their acts.
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