A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hello. So I’m completely confused. So I’m 18 and starting college this fall. And I’ve been dating my boyfriend for a year and one month. Well our relationship has been really rocky at times, but we always fix it. Well just last month he couldn’t decide either to stay with me or his ex which was his first love. But in the end he finally chose me. So I thought everything was good. Well I found last week he’s been talking to another ex on facebook again. We had this problem before and he told me he would stop talking with her, so now he’s lying again. Well now at the same time I’ve been having feelings for my best friend. He isn’t as attracted as my boyfriend is but he has a much better personality. He knows how to treat a girl right, while my boyfriend does not. Well I found out my best friend still really likes me. So now I don’t know what I want. They both care so much about me, I can see it in both of there expressions. I don’t want to leave my boyfriend because he did just choose me and I do really care for him. But my best friend, I just feel like there would be a lot less drama and I’m always happy with him, so I can’t help but think how much more happy I will be with him. I don’t want to make a wrong choice, but I want them both. But I don’t cheat, so I’m not doing anything with my best friend, only trying to figure out what I want. I don’t want to lose my best friend nor my boyfriend and our friendship. So can anyone please help me.
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female
reader, Abella +, writes (26 June 2012):
 You cannot keep both guys on a string. If you are interested in the other guy then he sounds a much better bet.
If you try to keep both guys then you may lose BOTH.
And your current guy can't stop flirting with other girls.
Let him do that. He is not your guy while he keeps on fliring with other girls. And you admit that things have been rocky.
But after breaking up with him do not rush immediately into any second relationship.
keep on extending the hand of friendship to your best friend. See if it can morph into a relationship that is more than 'Best Friend'.
However I can tell you that a man who is your "best friend' is also a very good bet as the Best man you could ever be with.
your Best friend treats you respectfully. That is hugs plus.
Just remember, you will lose one of them. But is you are intent on keeping both of them then very likely you will lose both of them. Men do not like manipulative actions and trying to juggle two guys concurrently really does not go down well with guys.
I hope you life is Happy with whoever you do choose.
Best Wishes
Abella
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