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My boyfriend cheated with a girl who is now making my life miserable

Tagged as: Cheating, Friends, Online dating, Teenage, Three is a crowd, Troubled relationships, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (12 April 2013) 4 Answers - (Newest, 12 April 2013)
A female United States age 26-29, anonymous writes:

Dear cupid I feel so devastated and I don't even know how I got into this situation.

I was in a serious relationship with my boyfriend who I really loved.

I found out he basically cheated on me with a girl who has had an on again off again relationship with one of his friends.

They both exchanged naked pictures, they were flirting with each other, were naked with each other on webcam, and a lot of other things.

The worst part is ever since this happened, the girl he cheated on me with is making my life miserable.

Her and I have a lot of the same friends. She is spreading so many rumors about me and is trying to turn these friends against me. My friends have told me all of the bad things she has been saying about me and they have said that she is trying to get them to stop being friends with me. And on top of this I have just been cheated on with her by my long term boyfriend who I really loved.

I can't believe my boyfriend did this. Not only did I lose my boyfriend but I feel like I'm losing my friends too because of this girl. They know what she has done to me and they are still friends with her and I just feel so betrayed by everything.

I feel like this girl is ruining my life. Why is this girl doing this to me and what should I do?

View related questions: cheated on me, flirt, nude pictures

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (12 April 2013):

Op I agree with Cerberus, I had the same problem this girl even threatend to hurt my baby.

I called her out in our social circle it did cause a divide and I found out who my mAtes were.

She tried to play the victim she wasn't she also knew my boyfriend was with me as we were apparently good mates

I cut her from my life and my real friends think she's. cunt. As for him he's just as bad op he had loyalty to you cut them both out you are worth more than shit friends and cheating boyfriends

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A reader, anonymous, writes (12 April 2013):

"Why is this girl doing this to me and what should I do?"

Because you're letting her.

OP why? Because she's just an utter cunt and this is what cunts do. What you should do is treat her like a cunt and call her out next time you see her. Make a mental list of everything she's been saying about you and confront her in front of everyone. Make her explain where she gets off talking this shit about you.

OP I have a feeling she's getting all this shit from your now ex boyfriend. Seriously, I bet that fucker has been going behind your back bad mouthing you to her so he could get enough sympathy off her to get her to sleep with him. So stop calling him your boyfriend and start calling him your ex. And as for the cunt, call her out. Say it out loud in front of everyone that she's been spreading rumours behind your back. Don't try and get your friends involved, don#t name any of the people who told you, just directly make her explain why she is going about doing this.

Be careful though OP, you need to play this right. You need to be calm, logical and reasonable, you have to out her as the cunt she is and getting over emotional or screaming etc. is just going to ruin your position.

By far the most important thing here is to play this up to your friends, attack her with logic, display openly how she's a rumour spreader, she's untrustworthy and that she's an idiot. But be prepared for her throw it back in your face the things your ex has been telling her. Something tells me she got all this shit from him.

OP this is not going to go away, your friends are still friends with her, they may love you but if you don't fight your corner then all they hear is shit from her and no matter how full of shit she is the ideas she's spreading may take root in their minds, so call her out. Be reasonable, confident, unemotional and ask her wtf does she think she's doing spreading shit about you amongst your friends. Make her look like a backstabber without actually saying it out loud.

Play this well OP, and do it as soon as you can because time is not on your side and you're up against two cunts in your social group. You need to get in there, draw the lines of battle and fight your corner or you're just going to have to watch as your friendships slip away.

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A male reader, TrancedRhythmEar Saudi Arabia +, writes (12 April 2013):

TrancedRhythmEar agony auntYea exactly. Your bf is the one to blame doll. Unless you thoroughly enjoy sticking around for more drama (which a lot of american women do) ill strongly advise u end it n show him no tolerance for cheating. Dont keep him around. You can do better!!

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A female reader, YouWish United States +, writes (12 April 2013):

YouWish agony auntActually, it's not this girl who is ruining your life. Everything starts and stops with your boyfriend. Blame the right person, and that's him. He cheated. He lied. He deserves to be kicked out on his ear.

Once you drop the guy, your true friends will assert themselves. Not only that, but the new girl will feel the sting of her own betrayal when the guy cheats on her too.

You should drop your boyfriend. He is the one who hurt you. He is the one allowing your life to be ruined. Drop him.

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