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My Bf passed away a year ago. Is it wrong to start dating the second cousin of my late partner?

Tagged as: Crushes, Dating, Family, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (16 March 2017) 6 Answers - (Newest, 28 March 2017)
A female United States age 22-25, anonymous writes:

Okay my boyfriend passed away (father of my child) about 1 year ago.

We were on and off for about 5 years, always fighting never really happy.

I met someone who makes me really happy.

Unfortunately it's his second cousin. (Even though they never met each other and no clue of each others existans)

Is it wrong even though they didn't know each other.

View related questions: cousin

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A female reader, aunt honesty Ireland + , writes (28 March 2017):

aunt honesty agony auntNo it is not wrong, if you are ready to move on then great I hope you and him will be happy. Don't feel guilty, as you said they didn't even know each other.

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A female reader, angelvoice United Kingdom +, writes (17 March 2017):

angelvoice agony auntMy dear friend, I would like to reassure you that it is not in the least wrong for you to date your late boyfriend's cousin.

Often, if we think of the memory of the person you have lost and he were here to give his opinion, above all he would want you to be happy in this short life of ours.

In addition, he would love helping to care for your baby, after all a distant relative himself.

I have often been in the position of suffering feelings of guilt, but ultimately in a case like this we are completely forgiven.

My heartfelt advice to you is: Start a relationship with the second cousin, specially as you are drawn to one another, and think deeply that your late partner would wish you the very best in the joy you may well manage to find.

All the best, and all the luck for the future,


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A female reader, anonymous, writes (17 March 2017):

I don't think it is wrong really. It might be awkward for some of the family members that knew them both, but I am sure that will pass.

My cousin passed away in a car accident, and her live-in boyfriend started dating my other cousin (younger sister of the one who passed) about 6 mos later.

It was weird at first, seeing them together at holidays and such, but that feeling passes with time, as long as the new couple is happy.

Best of luck in your new relationship.


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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (17 March 2017):

Honeypie agony auntAre you in a spot and frame of mind where YOU are ready to move on? If so, I say go for it.

Sometimes it IS a very small World.

If this new man makes YOU and your child happy I can't see why you should "punish" yourself by NOT dating him.

Like any other relationship, go slow and try not to worry too much about what others might think, this is your life.

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A male reader, WiseOwlE United States + , writes (17 March 2017):

Why would you say it is unfortunate? Your previous relationship was rocky, and not really a stable one.

This one is a happy one.

Be sure your feelings are not on the rebound; and for the sake of his family members still grieving, be discreet. Don't make public-displays or flaunt it in-front of his relatives.

It's not up to others to decide when or whom you date. There is a matter of respect for the family members who hold no grudges and do know the cousin. They may take offense, feeling you may be spiteful or scornful of his memory. Especially his parents and siblings.

Don't forget, your child is related to these people. His parents are the child's grandparents.

You will still have to face them, and appear at family gatherings at some point in time.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (17 March 2017):

Nothing wrong with the situation at all.

Did you get on well with the family of the man who passed away?

After 12 months since your partner died you have suffered and grieved and now you are entitled to start a new relationship, and the fact that he was related to your late former partner is of no consequence

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