A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:So the man I have a relationship with for he last two years had an affair in January. Technically we were on a break. He was out of town for a month and there were no promises made. However he kept the affair secret and when he came back took up with me again. I didn't find out about it til march. He also admitted that he was heartbroken over her and she dumped himI really love this guy so I accepted it and tried to move on. But in may I caught him texting her one night (at 1am) I threw a fit and be begged my forgiveness and said it was really over (they don't live in same state now) so after a week..I took him backLast night I went on her fb page and saw that he is still commenting and liking her stupid status updates and videos. I'm offended. Am I being to sensitive or is this unacceptable?
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a break, affair, heartbroken, move on, text Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 June 2013): I'm angry Taft he lied about the affair in Jan. I even had suspicions and he told me I was wrong
And him textin her that night while I was with him was awful
No I am not chopped liver
Original poster
A
male
reader, CMMP  +, writes (24 June 2013):
This is the point where you have to see reality (as suggested by so very confused). Make your own choice, but don't lie to yourself about these facts. Is this the type of relationship/guy you want?
He lied to you about something very big.
You are his second choice.
If she'd take him back he'd probably be with her.
Don't be offended by any of this, it doesn't mean she is superior to you in any way.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (24 June 2013):
 she left him
he is not over her
he would still be with her had she not dumped him.
use this information to make your choice.
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A
female
reader, shrodingerscat +, writes (24 June 2013):
 He didn't have an affair with her. You two were broken up, which means he was single. You have no claim over someone when you're not with them, so holding his completely logical actions against him is unfair. It's manipulative and selfish to punish him for what he did WHILE YOU WERE NOT WITH HIM.
The fact that he is not over her and is "Settling" for you is the problem, not the fact that he slept with her. If you told him that he is absolutely not allowed to talk to him because of his unfinished emotional bond with her, then that is the thing that needs to be addressed.
Let the fact that he was with her go. You two broke up, he was single, and had every right to do whatever he wanted in that time.
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A
female
reader, Anonymous 123  +, writes (24 June 2013):
 He's obviously still not over her and the fact remains that she dumped him and he was heartbroken over her. Do you really think he is into you now? Because it doesnt seem like it. Its more of a case of, "if I cant get the chocolate flavored ice cream, then I'll settle for vanilla".
Its up to you now OP, how much are you willing to put up with? Are you OK with a guy who still pines over the girl he had an affair with while you were on a break? You cant force him to not like her, just like you cant force him to fall back in love with you. Personally for me all this would be too much to handle.
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