A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi There,Need some advise as I'm not sure really how to handle this or what to do.I was engaged to get married and last week my partner told me out of the blue she doesn't love me anymore has not done for a long time and has feeling for someone else. (Who she is now with) and rubbing it in my face :(I am trying to keep busy and keep my mind off it as i don't want to fall into the dark hole as it were. I have been seeing my friends all week and family to help me through this but as soon as I am on my own I feel really depressed.I really don't know what to do!Any tips on how to get over her?How soon until I should move on find someone else?Any advice or tips would be great,Thanks :)
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (7 December 2011):
 She did the right thing. she could have lied to everyone and married you and then years down the road it would have been even messier than it is now.
The only way she can rub it in your face is if you let her.
Best thing to do: go NC NO CONTACT... delete her phone number and email. Block her online accounts DO NOT seek her out.... yes curiosity may get the better of you but remember the old saying "curiosity killed the cat" IT will Pass... it takes time. How long? Depends....
My girlfriends and I have always subscribed to the SIX WEEK rule. after a bad breakup we are allowed SIX WEEKS to obsess and mourn and eat all the ice cream we want straight out of the container... after 6 weeks we have to pull up our big girl panties and DEAL with it... Sometimes it takes less time... sometime more...
I once ended a relastionship and I realized that I woke up and thought about him from the second I woke up till I fell asleep.
Then one morning I woke up and did not think of him till I was in the shower... and slowly over time I thought of him less and less...and I cried less and less... and finally one night I got into bed and thought of him and realized it was the FIRST time that day I had thought of him and that's when I knew I was healed... this was 1994 and I still think of him and wonder how he is but it doesn't hurt anymore...
Time is a wonderful healer...
A
female
reader, Purple Pillow Power  +, writes (6 December 2011):
 some people find taking a hobby does the soul good. you never know, a rebound girl is out there not knowing yet but pationtly waiting. like the first person said, grow a mustache! my dad always said mustaches are manly even though i hated it. griefing is a long prosess but try and look at all the good of it. rewind to the good times ll pause the memories [] stop the hurt fastforward bad as my 6 year old sister said.
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A
male
reader, Fatherly Advice + ♥, writes (6 December 2011):
 Look up the steps of grieving, You have suffered a great loss and you will need to properly go through all the steps. Therapy may be helpful as will being with friends and family. Someday in the not so distant future you will be able to look yourself in the face, shake your hand and congratulate yourself on your narrow escape from a terrible marriage to a cheater.
Many men recover from this kind of betrayal by "manning up". Work out, build some muscle, take up a sport. Do manly things. Grow a mustache. The point is to rebuild your confidence in yourself. A side effect of this could be a renewed interest on your ex's part. If that happens don't be tempted. Cheating is addictive, and she will most likely do it again. If you are at a loss for something manly to do, Google "the art of manliness". If nothing else it will give you some interesting reading.
FA
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (6 December 2011):
 It takes time to get over a broken heart. Take the time to do so. Cut the contact with her, don't call her, text her or check her Facebook whatever page either.
Be GLAD you found out now that she wasn't happy instead of after the wedding. She wasn't the woman you thought she was.
How soon should you move on to someone else? When you no longer feel like you lost the love of your life.
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A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (6 December 2011):
 Give yourself time to heal. Make a conscious decision to live a normal life, one in which you will not pity yourself. Bear in mind that you had a fine life before you met her, and you can have a greater life still now that she's gone.
Just make a conscious decision not to let this drag you down and you will be able to make it. But give it time.
Personally, I don't think it's a good idea to find yourself a new woman right now. You'd only be using her.
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