A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:okay so i'm 14 and pregnant i don't know what to do. i really want to keep my baby because it is my baby. i turn 15 the same week i become 15 weeks pregnant..my boyfriend knows and he wants to keep the baby too..i don't know what we should do, i've been lucky and my mom hasn't payed attention yet and does know..what should i do!?!? Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, sojkci +, writes (23 December 2011):
 I'm happy for you, God bless your daughters, and your family as well. I hope everything goes well. Merry christmas, and have a happy new year.
Take care of yourself, and congratulations on the 2 little girls to come.
I also hope that you will stay in school, online classes or something, and I hope you do well in the future when you have your 2 little girls.
I'm happy for you.
Best of my sincerest luck to you.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 December 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionMiamine i will have to do that:) we got my doctors appointment moved up to today..and it looks like we have 2 beautiful healthy little baby girls on the way!:) my boyfriend was rooting for a boy but it looks like little girls:) i honestly don't care as long as we get 2 beuatiful healthy babies..
...............................
A
female
reader, Miamine  +, writes (14 December 2011):
 Yep, got it now, know what to say...
Babes, I want you take take a picture of you and your mum going to the hospital together. I want you to get two copies, you keep one and give one to your mum. Keep this picture with you for all of your life, keep it nice and safe.
The thing is, babies and children are hard work, there are some days when you'll be upset, lack money and will just want to sit down and cry. They baby won't sleep, or keeps on crying, or you is tired but you still have to wake up nights to do the feeding. There are days when you and your mum will argue, you'll argue over the baby, you'll argue about cleaning up, you'll argue about lots of things, that's what happens in families.
Today you sound so happy, and it's wonderful to hear. Thanks for coming back and updating your post, we are glad that things have worked out for you.
When times are bad, I want you to look at this picture and remember how excited and happy you felt, going to the doctor with your mother. It's something you and your mother can both share, together and with the baby. Mum and daughter together, it's a difficult thing you have done, telling her, but you did it. Your mum turned out alright in the end, and so will you when the baby comes.
Try your best, and remember bad times come and bad times go, but happiness and good things, you must remember and keep with you always.
Good luck to you and your family.
...............................
A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (14 December 2011):
 I am so glad you gave your mother a chance to support you, and that she has shown you that she is there for you to help you out. Good thing she took you to the doctors, and great news! Double blessing. Yes, twice as hard, but you can do it, and now you have even more help and a support system around you. You don't have to do everything alone.
...............................
A
female
reader, Miamine +, writes (14 December 2011):
Nope I'm moved as well, I'm just thinking and trying to find the right words to write back...
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 December 2011): Okay, amm I the only one that was moved by the spirit of your thanks? *wipes tears* Blesses you Sweetie! Please take extra care of yourself. You are a strong, young woman and I am grateful you have two kick ass Moms at your side. WONDERFUL!!!
*hugs&cocoa*
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 December 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionfor those of you that are still following this..my doc appointment is still the 2nd of next month we will hopefully be able to figure out the sex of the babies..yah if any of u got that, babies..i have been feeling pretty ill the past couple of days&my mom isn't the kind of person just to say oh ur just sick everything will be okay..espically while im pregnant..she insisted on taking me to a doc..we went&the doc was just going on w/ his normal stuff he has to do he was listening to my heart beat then he checked my belly just because he knew i was pregnant..he kinda looked at me&sighed, i instantly started panicking thinking something was wrong..it wasn't a busy day so he got me in for an ultasound right away..i was so worried by the time he started the ultrasound it was unbelievable..turns out when he was listening to my belly he could hear 2 heart beats&wanted to check for himself..he was sure right!:) this is gonna make things 100x harder but i believe i can do it now that i have not only my boyfriends mom but my mom too..thanks to u guys..thank u so much id be doing it alone if it wasn't for u..
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 December 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionfor those of you that are still following this..my doc appointment is still the 2nd of next month we will hopefully be able to figure out the sex of the babies..yah if any of u got that, babies..i have been feeling pretty ill the past couple of days&my mom isn't the kind of person just to say oh ur just sick everything will be okay..espically while im pregnant..she insisted on taking me to a doc..we went&the doc was just going on w/ his normal stuff he has to do he was listening to my heart beat then he checked my belly just because he knew i was pregnant..he kinda looked at me&sighed, i instantly started panicking thinking something was wrong..it wasn't a busy day so he got me in for an ultasound right away..i was so worried by the time he started the ultrasound it was unbelievable..turns out when he was listening to my belly he could hear 2 heart beats&wanted to check for himself..he was sure right!:) this is gonna make things 100x harder but i believe i can do it now that i have not only my boyfriends mom but my mom too..thanks to u guys..thank u so much id be doing it alone if it wasn't for u..
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 December 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank you so much i will keep that in mind..i will post if i need more help..and to tell what the sex of the baby is next month:)
...............................
A
female
reader, Miamine +, writes (11 December 2011):
* one last tip.. try to stay close to your mother and your boyfriends mother.. in years to come you will find that they are your greatest friends and your best support.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 December 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionyah and now she will get to come to the next doctors appointment and hopefully finding out the sex of the baby
...............................
A
female
reader, Miamine +, writes (10 December 2011):
Mum: "If you get pregnant I'll kick you out"
Daughter gets pregnant
Mum: "Wow, my baby's having a baby.. I'm gonna be a grandma"
See... wasn't so bad after all.. Well done you for being brave and strong.
...............................
A
female
reader, chigirl +, writes (10 December 2011):
Good for you! I think she will be a lot more happy about it when she can help you and be a part of this, rather than be pushed to the side because you think she wont support you. You need to give her a chance to show you what she will do, and so far it looks like she will be helpful. She was bound to find out soon anyway.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 December 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionit's only been a couple of days since i've asked for advice on what to do but with everyone telling me to tell my mom i finally got the guts last night while her boyfriend and my boyfriend were over..she was disapointed but not as mad as we expected..she was very happy though..(: hopefully it says that way..
...............................
A
male
reader, sojkci +, writes (8 December 2011):
A mother will always forgive their children, so just go ahead and tell her. I don't think she'd even have the heart to even kick you out. You are her DAUGHTER. You yourself soon will have a child. You will always forgive your child no matter what he/she does. Just have faith that everything will be alright.
...............................
A
female
reader, Krislis +, writes (7 December 2011):
You need to tell your mom. If you dont in a few months its going to be noticeable and then she may be even more angry for not telling her at first!
Just confide in her, she is a woman sweety and she knows whats best for you. She will understand and if you want to keep your baby you will need your moms help because of your age sweety.
Be strong and just tell her. Remember she has every right to be upset with you, because you are young and should not have been doing what you have done, but it is done so tell her and keep that honest relationship with your parents!
Good luck sweety. :)
...............................
A
female
reader, chigirl +, writes (7 December 2011):
I think your mother would like to be with you at the doctors to find out the gender of the baby. She is going to be a grandmother after all. Let her be a part of this, her her be a part of her daughters life. She will feel completely betrayed and left in the dark if you carry on keeping this a secret from her, when eventually she WILL find out anyway. Why are you not telling her already?
Your boyfriends mother sound very nice, you should try to talk to her about living with them for a while in case things go bad with your mother. Or alternatively bring your boyfriend and his mother with you to talk to your mother. She will get shocked, but she will be much more shocked, but imagine how she will feel if you don't tell her until the baby is born...
Think about if this was your daughter, what would you like your daughter to do in such a situation? Keep it a secret from you, and not trust you enough to tell you? Trust your mother, tell her, and let her be a part of this. She will be very hurt if you leave her out of everything, when you don't even know how her reaction will be, you are just guessing.
...............................
A
male
reader, frank.mcneil +, writes (7 December 2011):
This is a very tough situation, I could only imagine how scared you are.
But when putting things into perspective, is wanting to keep a child at the age a 14 a good idea? You need to weight in the pro's and con's.
What kind of life is this child going to live when you will have to limit your future to have a child. Perhaps not being able to finish high school, perhaps not being able to go to college or an university.
I know abortion is not an easy decision, but at 14? You have the rest of your life to have a child, there is many things that need to happen before then to make sure you all have a good life.
This is one place where I have a big issue with pro-lifer's, because they judge people into having children, but as soon as that child is born you are on your own.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 December 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionwe just got another doctors appointment set for the 2nd of next month and if we want we can figure out the sex of the baby:)
...............................
A
female
reader, Miamine +, writes (7 December 2011):
Babes, if your pregnant, eventually your mum will notice when your belly gets bigger and the baby comes out. It will be worst if you leave it until then. If she's going to kick you out, she's going to kick you out, hiding your pregnancy isn't going to stop that.
You really don't know what your mum will do. Your mum doesn't know what she will do either, no matter what she says. Your boyfriends mother is irresponsible to be taking you to the doctors but not informing your mother, that is not what a responsible adult should do.
Tell your mum.. you have no choice, she will find out anyway, and maybe she will help.
...............................
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (6 December 2011):
 look accidents happen... as a mom I know i would be upset at first but I would be more upset that my child was afraid to come to me. And yes as a mom I would have told my daughter something similar to what your mom told you.
does not mean she won't change her mind.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 December 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionto whom ever told be to get an abortion, i'm not gonna i have a life inside of me that could do something big in this world..when i found out i was pregnant at such a young age that NEVER crossed my mond never has never will..my baby will have a good life i don't live in a bad place now neither does my boyfriend no matter where he or she is at the baby will be in a good home..i will not drop outta school i refuse school is a big thing..i've gotta job and some money..not much but it's something..
...............................
A
female
reader, Purple Pillow Power  +, writes (6 December 2011):
 i know how scared you must feel now. my friend got pregnat with my ex (grrrr) but i helped her and eventually she got an abortion. think like this; shes your own mother who you have lived with for almost 15 years she was probably jokeing about the kicking out thing but if you explain it to her she can get you the help you need. tell you mother. in a mounth or so baggy jumpers ain't gonna hide it no more. and even if she doesnt find out some how what about child birth? usally thats a big give away your on the couch and suddenly "oh dear you've peeped yourself!" no, you have to tell her. no matter how much you want to keep this baby, think about your future too. you need you school work especiallywhen you in yr 9-10 high school or whatever year your in. honest as pillows are pillows the best thing to do is get rid of it and stay in school.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 December 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questioni know you must think i'm completly irresponsible but he's been my boyfriend for almost 2 years now and he is the only guy i've been with
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 December 2011): listen to yourself! you may be 15 in a week but that doesnt mean your getting any youger. you have at the least 55 more years ahead of you. you can worry about kids when your out of school. trust me my mum had me when she was16 and she had to drop out of collag to look after me. you need a good education for a good life ahead of you. if i was you i would get an abortion before its to late as im now 13 i dont want the rest of my childhood and teens wasted by looking after a baby when i could be doing stuff i'll regret, learning from it and carring on my life.you see these people who look for to young women walking along the streets with ther 'soul mate 4 eva' and heavily pregnant. look, if you wanna keep it, keep it. but be ready. remember; bad education, bad work. bad work; bad money. bad money; bad house. bad house; bad neighbour hood. bad neighbourhood; bad people. bad people, neighbour hood, money, house and education; no place for a baby to grow up in.
...............................
A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (6 December 2011):
 Okay I can completely understand why you are scared, off course you are, you are only 14. Your mother I believe said this to you, to scare you in to not falling pregnant, off course it never worked though. Therefore I guess you just need to be growing up about it now and come clean to her. I highly doubt she will throw you out of the house. If she does well then I guess you should have figured a place that you could go to before you fell pregnant.
She said this to scare you, but she is your mother and am pretty sure she is not going to see you stuck out on the streets. You need to talk to her about it before she finds out, because sooner or later she will, you cannot hide it forever. So you just need to bite the bullet and tell her, yes it is scary and very frightening but believe me you will feel much better once you have told her.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 December 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionmy boyfriend will turn 16 the day after iturn 15 witch is in 2 weeks...his mom seemed okay with it when we told her..i'm already home schooled so i feel i will be able to graduate on time..because i am already 5 months ahead witch i can use that for when the baby's born..his mom has been taking me to doctors appointments and everything's going good so far.
...............................
A
female
reader, WeCanDoIt +, writes (6 December 2011):
 If you don't feel you can tell you Mum just yet, although I agree it is the best course of action, try talking to someone at school. Is there a teacher or councillor you could talk to. When you do come to tell your Mum it might be helpful if there is someone there who can support you. Your boyfriend or a friend? Hope it works out okay and good luck. Xxx
...............................
A
female
reader, chigirl +, writes (6 December 2011):
How old is the boyfriend? What has his parents said? Could you stay with them by chance, in case your mother kicks you out?
Often parents will say they will kick you out just to prevent you from doing something foolish and becoming pregnant. But once the deed is done it is her job as a parent to look after you, and I think she will try to do her best to help you once you tell her. The sooner the better, so you get a chance to at least work out a plan BEFORE the baby is born, rather than having a baby in one arm and a suitcase in the other.
Talk to your mother, it is long overdue!!!
...............................
A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (6 December 2011):
 Tell your mom, it's not like this is something you can hide. You need her help and support whatever the outcome.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 December 2011): Reality shows of Teen Moms glamourizes teen pregnancy. GRR.
I agree, tell Mom. You will not be doing this alone so why exclude her? Be accountable- time to start growing up and becoming respnosible.
You are not going to be able to continue your education which is WISE and BEST, especially when the economy is on a decline. Its always best to upgrade education/skills.
The more you have of education/skills, the greater the oppurtunites.
So Moms emotional support, time, energy may be called upon for babysitting services as well as, well putting a roof over your head while being pregnant and raising kid.
Please also get to Counselling ASAP. You and Teen BF will need some coping tools and a fast course into adult responsibility.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 December 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionbut my mom has also told me she will kick me out if i got pregnant before i was 17..i have no where to go because she will do it:/ i'm so scared;(
...............................
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (6 December 2011):
step one bite the bullet and tell mom.... you have to tell her... you are so young you need her support and help and you must see a doctor ASAP.....
...............................
A
female
reader, aunt honesty +, writes (6 December 2011):
Honey you need to tell your mother. Being pregnant is a huge deal, and a very big thing to have to deal with on your own, especially at your age. I know that it is a hard conversation to have with your mother, but you cannot hide it from her forever and it would be a lot better if you told her now before she finds out another way. Am sure she will appreciate that you where honest with her. Yes it will be a shock to her, off course it will, you are her little girl, so yes she may be shocked at first. But she needs to know so that she has time to come to terms with it, and also she has had a baby so she will be able to talk to you about things and any thing you want to know she will be able to answer. Yes it does take a lot of courage to tell her, but honey it needs to be done. So just tell her. Good luck.
...............................
A
male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (6 December 2011):
 Firstly and most importantly BRAVO for wanting to keep your baby!secondly tell your mom it won't be as bad as you think
...............................
|
