A
male
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anonymous
writes:This question is for the ladies.Oh man :)... crushes really are unavoidable aren't they? It's a like a slow motion car crash and it just keeps building every time you see her and there's nothing you can do about it. So she's got what looks like a wedding band (no engagement ring) on her left ring finger. She's married?! This obviously affected me but seems like butterflies in my stomach didn't care because they keep on rumbling when I see her.I now see that on her facebook profile she's actually younger than me and is not married at all. She has a boyfriend. Is this a nice loud way of saying BACK OFF?I thought there were at least some basic certainties you could trust in life...
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crush, facebook, has a boyfriend, she has a boyfriend, wedding Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Blue_Angel0316  +, writes (19 November 2008):
 You are most welcome! Always remember to make lasting friendships. They quite often turn out to be the best, longest lasting relationships when they are allowed to develope and evolve naturally. :)
Plant a seed with kindness,
Fertilize it with love,
Nurtue it with compassion,
Reap the rewards with the fruits of your labor.
God bless,
Blue_Angel
^(**)^
A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 November 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you all for your great help!
Blue Angel, you're an angel! Thank you response struck exactly the right cords in me. Thank you :)
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A
female
reader, Blue_Angel0316 +, writes (19 November 2008):
If she is glancing at you during your lectures and blushing she may well be interested in you too. At least she is looking so I would take that as a sign that she at is approachable enough to talk to. It could be she finds you attractive and she may be a shy one which could be causing the blushing. It's hard to know for sure.
Just rememeber she has a b/f! It never hurts to be social with someone in a public setting. Just mind your manners and keep the distance between you and the young lady. You don't want to cause complications with th relationship she now has. It wouldn't be fair to her, him or you to get involved in anything other than a simple aqquaintence/ friendship.
If she becomes single without any involvement from you should you even try to go further than just a friendship. Be a Gentleman and I am sure you will be rewarded for your efforts. There are lots of Beautiful, young ladies out there just waiting for a man like you!
Remember that Facebook is there for Social Networking and SHE isn't the only FACE in the CROWD. :) So get out there and NETWORK! Who knows what special person you might meet if you don't limit yourself by being consumed with only thoughts of this lady.
*Just a note....Being too consumed might not be healthy for you as it can cause you to become obsessive and make you act really strange...and it could run her completely away. Making a good friend is far better than loosing a friend any day.
God bless,
Blue_Angel
^(**)^
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 November 2008): well i have a boyfriend and i know i put that out there as a back off sign but yea i do where a ring on my ring finger im not sure why but i do and i would say that you should try being friends with her and talking to her. get to know her and let her get to know u and see where that takes u two but thats all i hve for you well good luck hope things work out
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A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (19 November 2008):
 Again, I'm not a lady, but I can say that, if she has a boyfriend and makes that clear on Facebook, that is a big "Keep Off" sign. She might like you and enjoy your attention but that doesn't mean she will actually consider anything at all with you. As a friend -woman, by the way- said, she could find you "attractive", but that does not mean she's "attracted".
Find someone else.
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A
female
reader, Miss Potter  +, writes (19 November 2008):
 Hey, since I am Russian our wedding finger is on our right hand, but if I do wear a ring, it is going to be my wedding finger, just because thats where I like it to be :)
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 November 2008): Some women wear chastity rings on their ring fingers, and I know some musicians who wear their wedding bands on their right hands.
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A
male
reader, Johnny Bananas +, writes (19 November 2008):
As I've seen many times... If a women is wearing a ring on the "ring" finger then the majority of the time she is engaged in some kind of relationship or even married. The main purpose is to keep the guys away. So she could very well be single but not ready to mingle. If you're unsure about it, you could always ask the person... "My, that is a delightful ring..." Or "Nice ring... I didn't know you were married." If you've got the courage, then just start a conversation. That can lead to a relationship. Best of luck bud!
-Johnny B.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 November 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for the great advice. She honestly consuming my thoughts, it's very distracting and far from fading. Funny how these unexpected things happen... I don't feel in control.
I would really appreciate any further advice on this point. So I should back off? What can I do? I honestly do want to get to know her as she seems really interesting but I've been avoiding conversation. I feel like I've been biting my lip too long and I'm just itching to start up a conversation even if I feel that would exacerbate the risk of complicating things. Man I want to get to know her...
She glances over at me during our lectures and I notice. She tries to hide how she blushes when she's close to me but I notice. She times her exit so as hold the door open for me and invites conversation but I simply smile, thank her and walk on.
I wish she didn't have a bf. I would really appreciate a feminine perspective on this point.
Lately I've been thinking that I've been to cautious in life and that I should simply seize the moments before me that will never return. Will I really cause that much harm? :-/ What can one of an opportunity lost. She's an adult after all, she should be in a position to moderate our interactions as she desires. I'm definitely not forcing her to do anything. If she's really head over her heels about her bf, I shouldn't have a reason to be so careful? Should I? You only live once, right?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 November 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for the great advice. She honestly consuming my thoughts, it's very distracting and far from fading. Funny how these unexpected things happen... I don't feel in control.
I would really appreciate any further advice on this point. So I should back off? What can I do? I honestly do want to get to know her as she seems really interesting but I've been avoiding conversation. I feel like I've been biting my lip too long and I'm just itching to start up a conversation even if I feel that would exacerbate the risk of complicating things. Man I want to get to know her...
She glances over at me during our lectures and I notice. She tries to hide how she blushes when she's close to me but I notice. She times her exit so as hold the door open for me and invites conversation but I simply smile, thank her and walk on.
I wish she didn't have a bf. I would really appreciate a feminine perspective on this point.
Lately I've been thinking that I've been to cautious in life and that I should simply seize the moments before me that will never return. Will I really cause that much harm? :-/ What can one of an opportunity lost. She's an adult after all, she should be in a position to moderate our interactions as she desires. I'm definitely not forcing her to do anything. If she's really head over her heels about her bf, I shouldn't have a reason to be so careful? Should I? You only live once, right?
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A
female
reader, Blue_Angel0316 +, writes (19 November 2008):
I wear an engagement ring surrounded by two golden bands on the left hand. The diamond ring will be passed on to my oldest grandchild as her Papa gave it to me and it was promised to her 10 years ago. When I leave this world it will be hers. The fact is if I take if off something could happen to it as I've had other rings dissappear. I want to keep her keepsake/heirloom safe. I am so used to wearing it I don't really pay it much attention. It just means I like the ring and I know it's pretty secure on my hand.
My b/f objected when I moved it to the right hand saying it looks better on the left hand. Before when I was single I still wore in on the left mostly due to habit. I have been divorced a long time. Many people have different reasons.
Now that you know she is not single I would suggest that you refrain from getting involved. It could cause her alot of heartache. If you step back and enter her life as only a friend...ex facebook...then you might have a chance to be more if she ever changes her mind about her b/f. Otherwise let it be and you will be happier for not causing her any troubles.
People enter our lives for a reason...sometimes it's hard to know just what the reason is. Search your heart and seek a friend. Most all other things will come into place on their own.
God bless,
Blue_Angel
^(**)^
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A
female
reader, TasteofIndia +, writes (19 November 2008):
 I wear a ring on my left hand and yeah, it's mostly to keep fellas away from me. But, I've worn them in the past because I think my hands look prettier with rings on them!!
If she's got a boyfriend, I would just step back anyways...
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A
male
reader, Danielepew +, writes (19 November 2008):
I'm not a lady, but I know for a fact that many women who work at banks wear rings just to keep some men away. I wonder if they do it in America as well.
And then, nothing in life is guaranteed anymore :-). Some time ago, only women would have luscious breasts. Now, "thanks" to some plastic surgeons, you can't be that certain anymore.
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A
female
reader, applemac +, writes (19 November 2008):
hey hey. I've worn a ring my MUM gave me on my wedding finger before, for 7 months, god knows I might have made some hot guy run away. Well, I done it because I still had feelings for my ex and I didn't want ANYTHING to come my way, kinda silly now that I think about it, but yea. This girl has a boyfriend so she might just do it to avoid anything too. On the other hand she might just like the ring on that finger, had this conversation the other day and this guy said it looks best on that finger, regardless of which hand. That's why I did it, don't know why anyone else would....x
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