A
female
age
30-35,
*ittlegurl13012
writes:I'm about 8 months pregnant and I'm starting to get scared of whats going to happen when I go into labour. I'm only 15 and this is my first baby, I'm not sure if I will make a good parent and I'm kinda on my own. I live with my parents and my dad doesn't want to help but my mom does. The baby's father pretty much left me on my own. His mom and sister are there for me. I'm really scared of what's going to happen and how much pain I'm going to be in. I'm scared my life is over and I'm not going to be about to date or go out any more and my body is starting to look really bad. I'm sooo scared of what's going to happen. can someone please help me out??
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female
reader, samsmommy +, writes (19 November 2008):
 I was in a VERY similar position a while back, except i was 17 when i had my baby(he is now 8 1/2 mo :) ). I felt the same way you do, i was all excited for a while, then at about 8 months i realized i'm actually going to have a child lol.
Have you taken any classes yet? I didn't take any and if that's the case with you, let me tell you you really need to RELAX. As difficult as that may be when you're in labor and you might be scared, I can not tell you how much easier it will go if you're not tense. When you tense up you're only hurting yourself, it makes labor more painful. But if you relax and take a deep breathe, it really does make it so much better.
As far as your life being over, it is just beginning. Of course you're not going to be able to go out all of the time or go on a lot of dates anymore, because you have responsibilities now. And I wouldn't recommend dating for a while, guys either don't want to date a girl that has a kid, or they do want to date you because they think you're 'easy'. It is somestimes really difficult to find a guy that likes you for you, ESPECIALLY in high school.
I was afraid I wasn't going to be a good mom also, and no matter what your age, I think everyone has doubt like that. As the days go by you will get to know your baby's likes and dislikes, and you can even tell if they are hungry or tired etc by the way they are crying. You'll be more confident in knowing your baby's wants/needs with time.
A
female
reader, pashanoodle  +, writes (19 November 2008):
 Hey and congratulations! I agree with the other posters, it's very 'normal' to start to feel worried about labour when you get to 8 months and it suddenly dawns on you that you have to get that baby out somehow. ;-)
I think one of the hardest things for pregnant women are all the 'negative' labour stories you hear, so many people decide to tell you all about their experience - and it just leads to you feeling more anxious and afraid than you did before!
When I was very pregnant I had a check up the hospital and was in the lift with a couple who were obviously just taking their tiny newborn home...they were beaming, holding this tiny little pink bundle. I felt so excited to see that - but the best thing was that the woman reached out and touched my beautiful big belly and said 'it's really not as bad as you think' (meaning labour). It was one of the most reassuring moments of my life. And she was RIGHT.
Every labour is different - my advice to you is to just go with what is happening for you. Some women like to write 'birth plans'etc - but it seems to me that they can go out the window pretty quickly. So, find out what you can about your 'options' (yes a weekend class might be a god idea) re. pain relief and delivery, but just see what happens when it all gets underway.
This is gonna sound corney, but you will instinctively know what 'feels' right when you are in labour - somehow your body knows what push feels right and what doesn't...it's weird and it's amazing.
I was able to deliver my son posteriorly using only the gas - I just found this 'zone' within myself and knew it was up to me to do it - and I did. You will too. And - if you need the pethadine, or an epidural...you go for it...whatever it takes for you girl!
I can honestly say that if my bub hadn't been posterior (trned the wrong way) which made things take alot longer - labour would have been fine....it REALLY isn't as bad as 'they' make out.
Try to spend some time relaxing and preparing for the arrival of your special little one - it is very normal to wonder what life 'after' will be like and whether it will be ok....when you hold him or her you will realise your life will just get better - just be ready to see your heart running around outside your body!
Best wishes and hugs- make sure you let us know how you go and what you have/call him or her.
Oh - there is a book that all the new mums I knew here in Australia used ALOT in the first year of bubs life - it's caled "Baby Love" by Robin Barker. It has heaps of practical advice from newborns to toddlers....really good for those moments when bub is doing something you are not sure is right!! Maybe check it out.
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A
female
reader, birdynumnums  +, writes (19 November 2008):
 Your fear is soooo normal! Every single pregnant woman is scared. I would recommend taking Lamaze or childbirth classes to give you a bit of insight, knowledge really is power! I had two births, 8.2 and 10.4 pound babies, and the classes really helped. I used to have terrible migraines, so I could deal with pain, and I gave birth without drugs due to THAT training. Those breathing exercises and the focus training really helped! I think that i gave me the confidence to it! It's scary, but only because it's an unknown and your first time, but Hun, you can do this!!! The more information you have, and the more questions you ask, the better you will feel! Just trust in the fact that women have been doing this for a gazillion years!
And the end result? World Changing!!!!!!!
XXX
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