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I've fallen for him, but I am 12 and he is turning 18! Help!!

Tagged as: Dating, Forbidden love, Friends, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (23 February 2008) 9 Answers - (Newest, 1 May 2008)
A female United Kingdom age 26-29, *wincess-sarah-08 writes:

i have fallen head over heels for this boy and 89% of the time i think about him. the only thing is i am 12 and he turns 18 this month. i need help!!

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (1 May 2008):

There's nothing wrong with your feelings, but you will make a real mess if you try to actually get with him or something.

And he could go to jail for it. No decent guy messes with a 12yo girl when he's 18. It happens sometimes but that doesn't make it right.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (30 April 2008):

I would tell him how you feel. If he likes you, he will say so. I have been dating a 20 year old for over a year and I am 14 so I hear where your coming from. Good luck, I know making the first move can be difficult.

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A female reader, Lauraaa :) United Kingdom +, writes (26 February 2008):

Lauraaa :) agony auntI know how it feels. When I was you're age I had a crush on a 27 year old. But seriously it'll pass.

Besides, he's an adult and you're still a child. You're Jail Bait for him. And in his eyes you're still a little girl, so unless he's sick and twisted then he's not going to be interested.

Hope you get over him soon!

x

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A female reader, keely-h United Kingdom +, writes (24 February 2008):

keely-h agony auntwhen i was 14 i fancied a 21 year old footballer i soon got over him it was just a faze for 1/2 months i would not try anything with him he is too old for you and you are a child

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

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A female reader, hello1 United Kingdom +, writes (24 February 2008):

hello1 agony auntUnless this guy a pedophile he isn't going to be intrested in you :) I got a 12yr old sister and she's mentally still very much a kid!

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A female reader, hlskitten United Kingdom +, writes (24 February 2008):

hlskitten agony auntHi

Well ive just asked my nearly 13 yr old son about this qestion, and he said he fancies Ashley Tisdale or whoever it is off the tv, and shes 22! But like i said to him, you dont love her though do you! He said, er no!

I would be gobsmacked if he was infatuated with someone of 18. As well as worrie! Please let it go. Unless he is a paedo, he wouldnt be interested sweetie. And if he was, thats mighty dangerous!

Although thinking back, at 12 i did 'date' a 16 yr old. But it was very short lived and we didnt 'do anything' i think he was an immature 16 yr old. But i remember my mum was horrified!

Please be careful.

C xxxxxx

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A female reader, pwincess-sarah-08 United Kingdom +, writes (24 February 2008):

pwincess-sarah-08 is verified as being by the original poster of the question

pwincess-sarah-08 agony auntwell i think he does because he sometimes asks about me to his mum and i sometimes think he flirts with me. he is always smiling at my really cheesily and always stops to talk to me. even his mum thinks there is something going on between us!!

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A female reader, Jargenhunter United States +, writes (24 February 2008):

As a person who was in a relationship with a similar (but not quite as large) age gap, I understand your pain in this situation. Since you are 12, I am guessing you have never (or have been in few) relationships. You need to understand that someone who is 18 is most likely looking for a relationship with someone who can give them all the things (mentally and physically) that they want from a relationship. At 12, you're most likely not ready to give them everything that they need. The best thing you could do right now is become friends with this person, but do not make your lust toward them known. Be their friend and ride it out for a few years. Yes, it will be hard to see them date other people, but by being their friend, your eventual relationship with them will be that much stronger and you will be getting a much more mature person out of it.

Also, invest some time looking up statutory rape laws. You might thing your ready, but the law may not. While it may seem like a good idea or easy to hide what is going on from parents/the law, all it takes it one time to be caught by the wrong person and then your sweetie will be gone.

Good luck and I hope this helps!

Amanda Roberts

Wordscrawl.com

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A reader, anonymous, writes (23 February 2008):

what do you need help with?you shouldnt be in the relationship but at least give it a bit to see if it's just infatuation.your leaving a lot of information out,how does he feel about you?have you told him what you think of him?just my oppinion but you shouldnt be in a relationship with this guy at least not yet wait 3-4 years and see if you still feel the same

-michael

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