A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi,I have know this guy for many years. He said he loved me before and we met again after three years,recently in the states. We started dating a year ago. He wants us to get married so that he can remain in the states. He isnt a citizen by the way. I questioned if he was using me and he reminded me he has always loved me and he could have done that with anyone else. Not sure how i feel about him yet and if i believe him.He doesnt want to wait. Would have preferred if he had asked me to go with him back to his country and start again.He dismissed this and said he wants to remain in the US. Not sure what to do? would you trust him? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (24 February 2008):
 I won't look at whether he is using you or not, though he might. Instead, I would like to point out that, if you ask the question whether you should marry him, you're obviously not in love. And then the answer needs to be "no", for the very same reason Tisha-1 gave: Don't marry anyone you're not sure about.
A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (24 February 2008):
 Don't marry anyone you're not sure about.
If you don't love him, then certainly don't marry him. This will only lead to problems, lots and lots of problems, later.
You said he doesn't want to wait. Well, marriage is a partnership and means that both partners are in agreement. You want to wait, he doesn't. Not good.
I'd say put some space between you. His citizenship is HIS problem; not yours. Don't let him make it yours.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 February 2008): i sure wouldnt,honestly it does sorta sound like he is using you and if you arent sure about getting married then you shouldnt be getting married thats my oppinion anyway-michael
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