A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:hi. i'm 23, male, and looking for some advice for a situation that could be really great, or really awkward. i was adopted and raised an only child. i had a vague recollection of my birth mother having another child before me, by a different bio dad, and he/she was probably adopted as well. About 6 months ago, i was approached by a girl (she's 25), who thought she might be my half sister, based on some info given to her before her bio mother died. At the time, I had no reason to doubt it, and she probably might be. it was odd because, as it turned out, neither of us looked or reacted to each other as related. Things took a decidely romantic turn and we ended up dating. we are still together, and she's now pregnant. we've talked alot about it. she's keeping the baby, and i've offered to marry her if we can find somewhere that won't require us to go back beyond adoptions, or do a blood test. or, we can just common-law it. we don't really care to know, and everything we've researched puts the blood relative risk as so minimal, it's practically an urban legend. Our adopted families, not knowing the potential history think all of this is great. our joint mother, if true, is now deceased and any father types were never around. so, if there were a secret, there's no one to let it out. has anyone heard of something like this working long term? should we just move forward and keep the possiblities to ourselves? i told her i was asking, and would share any/all responses with her. Thanks. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 August 2009): the UK does not need a blood test but I believe the USA do for marriages - I don't have a similar issue but i do have a similar worry. I have two half brothers out there in the world that i have never met (i know they live within 20 miles of me) therefore i worry about meeting them unknowingly and being attracted to them ... if it happens and i find out that he's my brother then i would keep quiet about it. It wouldn't bother me as long as i'd never grown up with him. The important thing is that you love each other and your children can be normal - i personally think its multipul inbreeding that can cause abnormalites in some cases therefore i believe you'll be find as long as your kids don't get together. =) Basically as long as your happy, even if you not sure about you being siblings, i'd stil suggest keeping it quiet and going on with your lives - best not to worry over things you cannot change. Or one of you could explore your adopted past - try to get your orginally birth certificates etc.
A
female
reader, Knight_in_White_Satin  +, writes (10 August 2009):
 As far as I'm aware there's no REQUIREMENT for a blood test to be done for you to get married however it would be a good idea to get one done anyway because as rare as the birth defects to a child born of close relatives is they do exist, and you'll always be wondering.
If you go through with the blood test and you turn out to be related then you will not be able to marry, however, you would still be able to live together as a couple but no sex AT ALL.
But hey, you don't even know if you are related, all this worry may be for nothing Knightxxx
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A
female
reader, Love is all you need +, writes (8 August 2009):
 i thin it is a bit odd but you didn't grow up together so its not that bad. You could always stay where you are as you said no one knows your family history?
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A
male
reader, RAINORFIRE +, writes (8 August 2009):
 that sux you might not be able to marry her unless you can pay off somebody when you do the blood work.
Your girl is allready pregnant so i would say stick with her whatever happens you two seem destined for each other.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 August 2009):
If you really love each other and apart from the mind blowing sex then sure go for it.
But check the whole medical side fully. Life is so crazy n messed up grab happiness where you can.
No ones around to get all wild. so love each othe rmore each day and your coming kid.....but make sure he/she never, never!! finds out.
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A
male
reader, GrimmReality +, writes (4 August 2009):
 You are pretty much going to have to submit to a blood test anywhere in the US if you want to get married legally. And probably most countries ion the Western Hemisphere.I think just to be safe that you should be looking into what types of medical issues your family has had down through the years, even if you have to do it on the Down Lo it can be useful for you as your child gets older. But speak with a true medical professional, because the thing about info on the internet is that it can be published by anyone and in may cases even the smallest details are way wrong. I am not a medical professional or geneticist, but simply to be safe to make sure everything is ok with your childs potential health Id talk to someone. Remember that the child has no choice here as to his parents so in a special case like this you need to make that kid priority #1.As far as it working out long term? anything is possible I guess. Of course to make it public runs you the risk of the obvious insults that people like to hurl. But if everyone that is important to YOU and HER are on board with it, then who the hell cares? Its your lives.The Royal Houses of Europe are all pretty much Genetic Banjo Concerts but aside from a withered arm or two, some really terrible military decisions and some really tasteless and funny Princess Diana jokes they don't have any problems other than the commoners hate em.
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