A
male
age
36-40,
*astor troy
writes:I have been working for my company as a new business rep for 4 and a half years and always been good.I normally get my lunch from a supermarket down the road from my office but about a month ago, i had some fraud done on my bank and while it got sorted out, i had about a week when i literally had no money. I don't live with my parents, i live on my own with my dog. Now i know this is stupid but for a couple of days i obviously didn't have any money for my lunch so i didn't pay for my sandwich at the supermarket. I know it was wrong, and i never did anything like that before, ever, but none of my work collegucolleagueshelp me out, so on about 4 occassioccasionseek i would eat my sandwich walking round or pay for a drink and not my sandwich. I know this was wrong, honestly, and later that week i got my money back from the bank and all was ok. I continued to go back to the supermarket but for the past 3 weeks i bring my own lunch in, so i never went back. I had a call from Mike, the owner today and he called me in for a chat. Him and the other owner, Sally are lovely and treat me really well. They were very sad and said someone from the supermarket had told one of the other employees ( not sure who) that i had been seen taking sandwiches and i was no longer allowed in the store. I denied it but they sad they apparently had it on CCTV and that they were dissapodisappointeded them what we should do and they said it put them in a difficult position as they couldn't just ignore this and in a way, they may have to do an investigation. They said they can't sweep it under the rug as the supermarket had told them and it put them in an awkward position.They said they were very upset as they really like me and i'm the best worker they had but to have a think what i want to do over the weekend. They said they could either move ahead with the investigation which may not be nice for me and what if the supermarket involve the police etc or if i wanted to, quietly, i could hand in my resignation and i could work my notice or get paid leave and they will pay me for any deals i am owed and look after me. They said no one will know and it will be just like a resigned and i will get an excellent reference.I know this was dumb but i am not sure what to do. Please, no insults, i know taking the sandwiches was wrong. Any advice? thank you.
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female
reader, YouWish  +, writes (23 September 2012):
 "The store and his employer are separate entities. Neither of them can leverage the other. In fact, since he has not been convicted, the store besmirching his reputation with his employer is actionable in a civil suit."
This is true to a point, but the fly in the ointment is the CCTV. This is actionable UNTIL the conviction. To act on this would be a gamble where most likely, if this goes legal, the OP would be screwed with this on his permanent record, and the store would not have to worry about any lawsuit.
The employer is letting the OP go because even though they are really nice and all, someone who steals is a liability to their company, as it shows a moral breakdown. What if the situation were to arise where the employee would justify embezzlement or fraud on the company?
It's an untenable situation for the employer here.
A
female
reader, Ciar  + ♥, writes (22 September 2012):
 When I first read this I assumed you were working in some kind of department store that had a supermarket in a seperate section or something. Not that it really matters.
Mike and Sally (your employers?) might know the owners of the other establishment or they may simply be part of a tight knit business community. Whether this is the case or not I still think you've been treated fairly. Shops DO in fact ban people who've been caught stealing from them. It's standard procedure and anyone who continued to allow a known thief on premises would be foolish.
As an aside, when you got your 'money back from the bank and all was OK' did you go back and pay for the sandwiches?
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (22 September 2012): To the UK HR director.
The guy you fired stole from his employer which happens to be you. I would fire him too.
Like 'perhaps not" has said. None of this makes any sense.
The store and his employer are separate entities. Neither of them can leverage the other. In fact, since he has not been convicted, the store besmirching his reputation with his employer is actionable in a civil suit.
Even if they saw you eating the sandwich who's to say you didn't present an empty wrapper at the check stand later.
I am no fan of thieves, but you are shaming this guy needlessly. Over a sandwich.
If indeed this is a small town, with the attitude I see here, he should sell his house and move to another country.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 September 2012): I am a UK HR Director and I would say without doubt the best thing to do is to resign and hope that they will give you a reference. I had a similar thing in a nightclub where one of the boys kept taking food from the self service machines when he was filling it in the morning. We gave him a choice - resign or we will call in the police. Unfortunately you are guilty here and they may well have you on CCTV and you do not want a crminal record. It is best to resign on Monday as there will also always be a cloud over you if you stay.
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A
female
reader, PerhapsNot +, writes (22 September 2012):
 If you stole from the grocery store several times and they have footage of it, why haven't they called the police? A store doesn't "ban" someone who stole from them. If anything, since they have evidence of you stealing, it makes more sense that YOU don't want to go to the store yourself because they can call the police to arrest you on their property.And why would the supermarket contact your employer? How do they know where you work and who your boss is? Do you live in a small town? Why would they tell your boss but not the police? It makes absolutely no sense at all.In either case, this is what it comes down to: your company doesn't want you any longer. You pose a liability. You stole and you lied about it. As someone who works in HR, I can tell you that most employers run a 7 or 10 year background check. Theft, whether a misdemeanor or felony, along with any other type of a deceptive practice conviction, will be an automatic rejection. You have a better chance getting hired if you're a registered sex offender than someone with a petty theft charge. The only time an employer may choose to hire someone with a theft convictions is if the person was a minor at the time of the crime....And some will not even budge on that.With that said, I would strongly recommend that you resign. Never tell future employers the details of your resignation and never use your current employers as a reference. You may think that you are on good terms with them, but you will never truly know how they really feel about you and this situation. Don't do this again and never go to that grocery store again.
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (22 September 2012):
The thing you should not focus on is your immediate punishment for your crime, as the anon focused on. Yes, you may get probation, or community service, or a fine.
The issue is your criminal record. A petty larceny conviction is a really really bad mark when it comes to your career and future, and it *never* goes away.
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A
female
reader, Ciar + ♥, writes (21 September 2012):
Hand in your resignation and let this die a quick and quiet death.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (21 September 2012): Your criminal activity at the store and your job security are mutually exclusive. If you have not signed some sort of morals contract up front like pro athletes do for endorsement deals, then there is not much they can legally do.
If you can verify the mitigating circumstance of not having access to your money, and they continue steam rolling you, I don't know what this world is coming to.
By the way. Stealing a sandwich is such a meager charge that they would have issued a citation. Like a traffic ticket.
Don't sweat it either way.
People screw up.
People do stupid things.
People will get over it.
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (21 September 2012):
Yeah, their offer of resignation is a gesture of mercy, because your life will be pretty much hosed by a theft conviction on your permanent record. They have proof on their camera.
Have you offered other options? This supermarket obviously went through the time and trouble to find out your identity and place of employment, so have you offered to make a civil restitution to them?? And if they accept, could you keep your job then?
What I mean is, you stole from the supermarket. If you offered a generous financial compensation, and/or offered to do some work for them, OR do what seems to be the rage nowadays with shoplifters and accept humiliation as punishment (there are supermarkets and retailers who have people spend a day on the street with a sign), or whatever, you might want to offer that.
If those are unacceptable, then you must accept resignation. You did have options other than theft (payday advance??), but now is the time to accept responsibility. Accept the mercy and think of your future.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (21 September 2012): This is an important lesson for you to learn. You thought that because you managed to steal the sandwich on the first day with no consequences you did it again the following day and again and again. You are regretting it now because you were caught. Don't try to justify to yourself that you stole because you had no money. I honestly don't think your Boss will believe that story, so please,please don't relate that story to him. Unless you want the shop to prosecute you, you will have to go with whatever your Boss wants. He probably (rightly or wrongly) thinks that the sandwich business was not a one-off incident, so sad to say, he no longer trusts you. You should think yourself lucky that you have been given a "get out of jail free" card. Most probably because of your previous good work. Take it. Thank him. Resign. You have learnt an important lesson the hard way because of your stupidity (I won't say dishonesty because I do think this was a series of one-off incidents), but it could have been a lot, lot worse for you. You have your Boss to thank for that. I wish you well.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (21 September 2012):
 I'm confused.
why is the supermarket and your boss in cahoots to determine what happens... why will the supermarket not prosecute if you resign?
do you work for the supermarket
1. you must pay retribution back to the market TODAY! do not wait. this has no bearing on your job... it's the RIGHT THING TO DO.... you stole... if you pay back it's more like borrowing and paying the money (which you should have done as soon as your funds were freed up)
2. you should have ASKED for help... i'm sure lovely sally and Mike would have been happy to help.... I'm sensing you didn't ask for help for a reason you are not sharing.
based on what you are saying... given the option.. go quietly...
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (21 September 2012):
 It was more then dumb to do. You OUGHT to have asked your boss (as you mention that they are lovely people) but the fact that you expect EVERYONE else to feed you because you had some fraud on your bank account is equally ridiculous. I'm pretty sure ANY good boss would have let you owe for a few sandwiches.
But I guess that is a moot point now.
As I see it, you only really have one option and that is to resign. Or your future will have a shoplifting charge on and then WHO will hire you? I think they are doing you a HUGE favor in letting you have the option to resign quietly. That speaks volumes of what kind of people they are. Good people.
Now LEARN from this lesson. ASK for help when you need it. Things are bound to happen, don't make excuses. Learn how to solve your problems and stay within the law too.
Good luck.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (21 September 2012):
 OK, no insults, but... did it ever cross yor mind that you could have easily gone to lovely Mike and lovely Sally , explained how and why you were in a financial pickle , and ask if you could have an advance on your next salary ? Who is the satisfied boss of a good employee of over 4 years who would refuse her that ; or probably even a personal loan. Humiliating ? Not more than being caught stealing sandwiches.
Oh well. Option no. 2 , of course, what else. You have been caught on camera, what if the supermarket decides to prosecute ? Do you want to get a police record for... theft of sandwiches, when you can avoid it ?
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A
female
reader, maverick494 +, writes (21 September 2012):
You have to understand that people who run a business have to strike hard when it comes to employee theft to discourage anyone who may be tempted to do the same.
As for the choice, there is no choice. They have you pinned down. Playing innocent won't help you because the investigation will rip you to shreds. That will carry onto whatever job you decide to pursue next. So keep the honor to yourself and hand in the resignation letter, BUT I would ask to have a last chat with them.
If they agree to a conversation, start off by expressing you're terribly sorry you stole and that you lied about it, but that before you go you want them to know the whole story. And then explain everything you put here. They will probably want to know what could motivate a good employee to do such a thing. And maybe, just maybe, they will let this one pass. But honestly, I doubt it, especially since everyone else knows about it too. But it's worth explaining just to clear your conscience alone.
Just if this ever happens again, go to your boss and explain you have money troubles and can't afford food. You may either be able to work through your lunch break and get paid extra or they may grant you temporary free lunch from them. Just ask them first.
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A
female
reader, AuntyEm +, writes (21 September 2012):
 I don't think you have a choice other than to take the resignation and you are real lucky to have been given that. Its obvious that they do not want you to stay and are offering you a pain free way out.
If you allow the police to become involved you could end up with a criminal record and that will affect you getting another job.
I am not judging you, we are in dire finacial times and you got into a situation that wasn't really your fault...you made a bad choice and it backfired.
If it were me, I'd go quietly because I think if you choose to put up resistance, they will fire you anyway.
Im sorry this happened to you.
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