A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I met this girl, who is incredibly beautiful, funny, smart and so easy to get along with! One the thing that I found alluring about her was the fullness of her lips. And we've been on a few dates and yesterday we went out in the day and I noticed her lips weren't as full as they usually appeared to be, they weren't shockingly smaller. But the fullness wasn't the same.I thought I'd ask her and she said it's because she usually wears a natural lip liner and lipstick to enhance her lips to look a bit bigger. I said that I thought it was weird that she did that and why didn't she just embrace her natural lips.She got a bit defensive and said that she does like her normal lips, but it's not weird to want them to look a bit fuller and that it's only make up. That other girls do it and i'm probably not aware. And it's better she did that then to get fillers and be surgically enhanced..Can someone tell me who's right here, what do you guys think? I know it's not like her lips look massive when she does it, but still I find it strange and false projecting if she's making them looking fuller than they are! Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 June 2013): Do you wear aftershave to smell better?
Do you wear deoderant to disguise sweaty odours?
Do you shave?
Do you wear hair gel, to shape and style your hair?
Think about it! What do you project ?
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (25 June 2013):
 She’s correct. It’s not weird to use makeup to enhance what you already have. Nail polish makes our nails look nicer, eyeliner makes our eyes look bigger, hair dye changes the color of our hair, foundation covers spots and uneven pigment, blusher gives us color where none exists. Using lip liner, gloss and lipstick is common place and as older than you and your new lady friend put together.
Do you think her having her hair styled or wearing nail polish or eye liner is weird? IF not, then why would doing the exact same thing to her lips be weird?
It’s not false projecting. And I think she’s 100% right in that using makeup to enhance a body part is a much better concept than having injections or surgery for a purely cosmetic reason.
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A
female
reader, Got Issues +, writes (25 June 2013):
 Nobody is "right" or "wrong" because it is subjective but I think it sounds like you were pretty rude about it. And it's not like you were saying it for her sake, either, but because YOU were disappointed that she didn't look exactly like she had when you first met. It actually takes a lot for some girls to show a guy their faces with less or no makeup, as it can act as a sorry of mask, and taking it off makes some girls feel very vulnerable. To do so and be told that she is "weird" is probably not going to do wonders for a girl's self-esteem.
I suggest you keep any negative opinions about her and her looks to yourself from now on because it's really not your place to comment on her looks other than to say that she looks lovely. Go with the old "If you've got nothing nice to say, better to say nothing at all".
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A
female
reader, shrodingerscat +, writes (25 June 2013):
 So I guess she should turn the tables on you and tell you that shaving your face is "false projecting" because it's more NATURAL to NOT SHAVE, and that in order to not change your appearance and falsely project an image that isn't "natural", you have to stop shaving.
I guess it's different when you look at it that way, isn't it? ;-)
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (25 June 2013):
 What's strange ? make up is strange ?! Dude, you are strange :)
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A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (25 June 2013):
 "I said that I thought it was weird that she did that and why didn't she just embrace her natural lips."
Why? Because:
"One the thing that I found alluring about her was the fullness of her lips."
I mean it's makeup. Yeah it's kind of fake, but so is mascara, eyeliner, foundation, lipgloss, most bras, hair extensions, hair dye, spanx, high heels, etc... I think you catch my drift. I mean really, it's a normal makeup technique many many women use exactly because like you said, it made you drawn to her full luscious looking lips. I guarantee every woman you've ever been attracted to in real life or print or film has used many of these same "tricks." Like most women don't really have shiny lips or dark black thick lashes, etc...
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A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (25 June 2013):
She right. Make up enhances women's natural beauty. Duh. You should watch the way you talk to her ("that's weird") or you may find this relationship to be short lived.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 June 2013): You're both right.Many women do all sorts of things to alter the way they look. Many go tanning, wear foundation, some type of eye makeup, false eyelashes, hair extensions that are made of actual human hair so it looks real, they wash and style it like it's their own, etc. She is absolutely right, you are completely unaware of all the things women do to look more attractive than they actually are. As a man, you don't do that stuff, so it makes sense you aren't aware. That said, I can see why you're disappointed that one of the things you liked about her turned out not to be real.This is why I choose not to wear makeup. I can never disappoint a guy, because he sees the "real" me right from the start. If he likes me, I know he genuinely likes ME, and not a face I painted on. The confidence I get from being noticed without makeup is so satisfying. She should try it sometime.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 June 2013): Strange that you care so much. Even women who love their natural look will wear some things that enhance their beauty sometimes...and this is on the lower end of the "crap women do to get ready" spectrum. If you're weirded out by the lady wearing lip liner and not much else, you had better stay away from the majority of women. Even a woman who hates makeup for the most part and goes "au naturel" 99% of the time will have that day that she wears sparkly eyeshadow, and then where will your relationship be? I could see it if she was one of those, "Must put on a pound of makeup with a trowel daily or else I can't go out of the house" types, but you're way overreacting. Feeling wronged and deceived because the lady wears lipstick (gasp) is not your prerogative or your right, and I hope she doesn't stop for you. Just let her do her thing; if she's a fun, confident, and genuine person, I don't think some makeup matters.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (25 June 2013):
 Some use eyeliner to make their eyes look a certain shape or size. MAKE UP (or rather made up) is the expression for a girl with cosmetics on her face. These cosmetics are MADE to enhance or show off certain features to their best advantage.
I certainly wouldn't call it false projecting at all. I wouldn't even call a girl wearing a push up bra "false projecting."
I think you need to stop harping on this girl and how SHE LIKES HER face to look, as it it none of your business, honestly.
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