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It's complicated. He will visit me. But often pushes for more physical content than I want. But he discourages me visiting him. Why?

Tagged as: Crushes, Online dating, Troubled relationships, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (9 January 2013) 4 Answers - (Newest, 9 January 2013)
A female Nigeria age 30-35, anonymous writes:

Have been into a relationship with a guy for more than 4 years now we both love each other.

He calls me and he pays me a visit. I need a new jobc so that occupies my time, but I'm less busy in weekends.

Each time i pay him visit he kisses me on my neck n touches my boobs even if i'm not ready for that?

Sometimes he gives excuses when i want to pay him visit.

There is a lady i met him with playing games,chat,hug doing things we have never do to gether at his house.

does he love me i'm confused please advise me or should quit..

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States +, writes (9 January 2013):

So_Very_Confused agony aunthow do you know he loves you? because he tells you? does he SHOW YOU?

4 years and it's not equal... and i doubt you are his only and I truly doubt he loves you

of course when you try to break it off he will talk sweet words and such..

I do not think he loves you and I think you should leave him.

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A male reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (9 January 2013):

olderthandirt agony auntHe sounds to me like he wants a "friend with benifits" rather than a relationship. You might be wise to duck this one.

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A female reader, NORA B Ireland +, writes (9 January 2013):

I think he is the confused One and certainly nor treating you with the respect ypu deserve.Say and firm goodbe to him and start living life for you. Meet new mixed company and find some man that will treat you with Truth ,respect and love .Best Luck with your future. Life is waiting for you enjoy. Nora B,

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A female reader, Abella United States +, writes (9 January 2013):

Abella agony auntYou are not his only girl friend. Sadly, while you may be exclusive, he is not exclusive, it would appear.

And he is not as respectful as he should be. Pushing for more sexual contact, before you are ready, is a Red Flag that he is not respecting your boundaries.

But the Biggest Red Flag? he is reluctant to have you visit him. That's because he cannot control all the variables. One of his girl friends who lives closer might see your arrival. Or worse another one of his girlfriends may arrive while you are visiting.

Get a test done by the Doctor for any sexually acquired diseases. Even if you feel perfectly well. Then Drop him. Cut all contact with him.

Concentrate first on finding a new job.

After that be on the look out for a honorable boyfriend who is closer to home, and who you can see any time it suits the two of you. And where the new guy does not 'push' you to do more sexually than you are ready to give.

And after four years one would expect him to want to protect you more and want to spend more time not less time with you. To make things more official, where there are NO secrets and where you have NO doubts and NO trust issues.

Listen carefully always to your intuition. It is already telling your something.

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