A
female
age
30-35,
*omeDownWithLove
writes:Hey,I met a guy online a few weeks ago, we've webcammed and spoken on the phone numerous times, I've started to really like him, he's like 7 years older than me and we're both fine with it.We're planning to meet at the end of this week, I've started getting really excited as you do (Don't worry we're meeting in a public place, lol.)BUT, there's something really suspicious about him.. He only phones me like late at night, or when he's on his dinner at work, or on his way to the shop or something. He takes hours to text back and when he does it's always late at night. He works hard, I get he can't reply all the time in the day.. But it's like a weird pattern he follows in texting/calling/emailing times.. I don't want to question it because I'll seem ridiculously clingy if it's nothing, but does it seem weird to you guys? Or am I just a bit paranoid? Lol.
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female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (15 June 2012):
 I get the feeling you are not going to listen to the little voice inside that prompted you to ask your question here.
The calling/contact pattern very much suggests he is hiding those calls/texts from somebody else.
Ask him for his physical address, ask him for a landline, ask him who he works for, and if he wont give the information to you, start CALLING his cell at odd and random times throughout the day.
Cancel the above, tell him your parents are worried about you meeting a stranger without the above information.
If he is genuine he'll give it to you, if his intentions are less than honourable you wont see him for the dust.
A
female
reader, Honeypie  + ♥, writes (14 June 2012):
 I'd advice you to go real slow.
Do you know his first and last name? As in, could you look him up in let's say the white pages?
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A
female
reader, ComeDownWithLove +, writes (14 June 2012):
ComeDownWithLove is verified as being by the original poster of the question@So_Very_ConfusedCan’t find anything for him online? Not even professional information? No, I literally can't find anything online for him, but not everyone has social networking sites ect. including me.I realise he could just be saying he's single, and that's what is worrying me because of his weird calling times.He’s been single for two months and shares a house with two people? Have you asked how he knows these folks? How long has he lived there?Yeah, he was engaged to this girl he broke up with two months ago, he broke up with her because they live miles apart and it wasn't going to work. And I asked about his house mates, he met them at university and they moved into together because they couldn't afford to live alone and he's lived in that house for just over a two years now according to him.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (14 June 2012):
 NO home phone number?
NO home ADDRESS
Can’t find anything for him online? Not even professional information?
BE very very VERY cautious here.
I can say I’m single. Sure I can. I can tell anyone I’m single… especially since I don’t wear a wedding band. Some men don’t wear them
He’s been single for two months and shares a house with two people? Have you asked how he knows these folks? How long has he lived there?
It’s not clingy to question things that make you go HMMMM…
Tread carefully… he may be on the up and up but he may be attached.
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A
female
reader, ComeDownWithLove +, writes (14 June 2012):
ComeDownWithLove is verified as being by the original poster of the question@So_Very_ConfusedDo you have a home phone number for him? I don't have a home phone number for him, but I only met him like 5 weeks ago.Do you have an address for him? No, but I've talked about going to his before, after he's taken me out on a few proper dates and he hasn't been odd about it or said I can't.Have you checked public records for him? I've searched for his name and I can't actually find anything.Have you asked him if he’s married or living with someone? Yes, I asked and he said he didn't long break up with someone and he'd been single about two months. He says he house shares with two other people.@eyeswideopen,He says he's single, I wouldn't date him if he'd said otherwise.@HoneypieDo you know where he lives? I don't yet, but again we haven't even met properly yet.Where he works? I know which company he works for.Does he have a home phone? I haven't got the number yet.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (13 June 2012):
Hmm, if you are just meeting him for coffee (and not sex) I would just pay attention to him. Just be cautious. And honest.
It does seem like he could be married or attached.
Do you know where he lives? Where he works? Does he have a home phone? do you have that number?
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (13 June 2012):
 It screams married or attached to me. What does he say his status is?
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (13 June 2012):
He only phones late at night or from work or when he’s out….
Do you have a home phone number for him?
Do you have an address for him? if not why not?
Have you checked public records for him?
google his name etc...
Have you asked him if he’s married or living with someone?
He may be cheating….
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 June 2012): Sounds like he's attached.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (13 June 2012):
 It sounds like a married guy...
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 June 2012): He could be genuinely busy.. but .. I think he's probably married or has a fiance or a serious girlfriend and he's looking for a bit of fun on the side. It's so sus that he only texts you when the world should be asleep. .. I dont' blame you for wondering. I think you should try and keep your emotions in check (as in don't like him so much) till you get to REALLY know him. If you know where he lives and can verify that he's not married (sounds like a lot of trouble I know.. but better safe than sorry) then maybe you can figure out why he's such a night owl. Oh and DO make it clear that you aren't some booty call. If a dude calls past midnight.. you are likely to be a booty call... he's randy and you are the top on his "to call/Easy to get" list. Good luck! Let us know what happens this weekend.. whether you went through it or not :)
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A
female
reader, shrodingerscat +, writes (13 June 2012):
 Sounds like he's got a girlfriend and only talks to you when he's alone, so that he doesn't get caught.
Be direct with him. You deserve truthfulness, so demand it.
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim +, writes (13 June 2012):
To be honest it sounds to me as if he is already in a relationship.
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