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female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: So I am in the middle of a legal separation at 29yrs old. I started a new job in April and there is this really cute guy who works with me. He's only 21 though. And I know where you are all going to go with this..."rebound" but it's really not because my ex husband and I haven't been together for more than 8 months. And I am perfectly happy being single and living my life. Anyway. When I first started there neither of us really talked to each other. But about a month ago we started chatting at work, texting and we actually went out to dinner once. Since then we talk every day (either in person or text). We have been trying to make other plans to hang out but they just keep falling through (on both of our parts). Here's my question... I really like him, and I think he likes me but the fact that he's 21 is a bit concerning. And I keep wanting to just tell him that I like him and see what happens. And I'm having the whole "co-worker" fantasy hook up thing going on in my head, but I don't want to look easy and I want him to respect me. But I wish he would make a move already!!!! So is age an issue here? How do I get him to make a move, or how do I go about making a move without looking easy? I'm pretty sure I don't want this to be just a booty call, but I am definetly not looking for a relationship right now either. I want to get to know him, have fun with him (on a sexual and non-sexual basis) and see where it ends up... HELP!!!!
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (13 June 2012):
 I agree with Cerberus either you have a relationship or you are a booty call… or you are just friends.
You can’t have it all ways…
Just tell him exactly what you have told us. What would you do if he was 31 to your 29? Would that make how you deal with this different? Is the only thing bugging you his age?
Gawd when I was 29 my fiancé was not even of legal age… he was 16… age is but a number after a certain point…
The issue is that you know if you give up sex easily that he will not respect you (or probably won’t) and that’s the tough risk you have to take.
I mean “I’ll respect you in the morning” is such a cliché but it’s so true….
A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 June 2012): "I'm pretty sure I don't want this to be just a booty call, but I am definetly not looking for a relationship right now either."
How does that work OP, it's either one or the other like. Casual sex or dating. If you're going to date a guy then the willingness to have a relationship is implied unless you state otherwise and if you state otherwise it's just a booty call.
It sounds to me like you just want a booty call but you want him to respect you as more and go on dates and stuff.
So just get to it and ask him on a date but make sure you tell him from the outset that you're not ready for a relationship it's only going to be a casual, friendly deal.
Just ask him on a date, there's nothing easy about that as long as you don't end up giving him head ten minutes into it or sleeping with him on the first date.
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A
female
reader, shrodingerscat +, writes (13 June 2012):
 So what's stopping you from calling him and asking him out on a date? This is 2012, sweetheart, women are actually allowed to do that now ;-)
Trust me, he's expecting you to make a move, and you're expecting him to make a move. If one of you don't show your cojones soon, you'll end up drifting apart without ever getting together!
And how can you avoid being a booty call? Easy! Be respectful and ask for respect in return. If he tries to Booty Call you, say no, and tell him that you're not interested in a FWB situation. He can't read your mind, sweetie, you gotta tell him if you want/need something!
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