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age
30-35,
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writes: Hey everyone, I have a issue with my mother......I'm 18 and I recently moved out. My mom is seriously crazy as in mentally ill and I'm trying to figure out what is wrong with her! hopefully you guys can help out and tell me what she has and if she needs prozac or something.....ok well ever since I was a child she would hit me and I have never been good in math (I am dyslexic in math) when I lived with her she would beat me so bad for not knowing an answer in math. She would take her finger nails and scratch my face or she would put her whole hand on my face and squeeze it and say "WHAT IS THE ANSWER YOU IDIOT!? F****** wh***!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" she would hit me on my head multiple times with her hands,She would grab me by my hair and pull my head back and tell me she was going to kill me and that I am a "stupid b****", I would cry and she would tell me "STOP CRYING!!!!! I WILL GIVE YOU SOMETHING TO CRY ABOUT!" She would be nice to me one minute then snap and completely go crazy psycho! One time she got mad at me for something and chased me out of the kitchen wih a knife! My step dad would have to hold her back from charging at me, Then he would yell at me saying "Why cant you be normal?! You made her like this its your fault you are grounded for 2 months no phone no friends no nothing you will sit in this room and do nothing!" and when he said that he really ment it,to be honest I was ALWAYS grounded for stupid things like forgetting to put a dish away or forgetting to do the cat litter he would come in and tell me I didnt do it I would tell him"i forgot dad im sorry" he would then tell me how stupid I am and ground me. I never had a normal child hood,my mother would tell me she hopes I get raped and beat up at school,She would make fun of my body saying my boobs look like "alien t****" (my breast look fine to me!) she would tell me im good for nothing,call me a lot of names,and she would tell people I am mentally handicapt that I can't tie my shoes or brush my teeth! and people would look at her as she was nuts ! She didn't want me to be with the guy I live with now (my fiance) (he actually rescued me from her and dealt with all her crap) she tried to put him in jail saying "he kidnapped and drugged my daughter" I was 18 at the time and still am (going on 19) she got arrested 4 months ago for stuffing me into a car and (her and my step dad) I was on vacation with my fiance and she came to the hotel and did that to me they faced 14 years of prison time but I signed the release papers for them to get out (they were up for bail too) I ONLY signed them for my 12 year old sister because she was sad and I love my baby sister A LOT. My mom wont let me talk to my sister,I havent seen or talked to my sister in 6 months! My sister now hates me due to the fact my mother nand step father are putting lies in her head. My mother told me that the Police department lied to me about her that she never told them I was handicapt...funny because I saw the papers. She said that my fiance is a liar,my grandmother,fiances mom,and the correction officers,investigator.....Is there somethimg wrong with her?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 July 2011): you seem like a smart girl. the best advice that I can give to you from someone who has been through the same is to move far, far away and don't look back. Tell your sister to find a role model mother and spend minimal time at home. also to move far far away when she is of age. good luck and don't look back. She is evil and just b/c you are RElated doesn't mean you are OBLigated!
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 July 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionhe didnt go on vacation with them he went on vacation with me
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female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (19 July 2011):
 Your mother is abusive.
Try to see if you can get custody of your little sister. With people like your mother you are better off getting them out of your life and not wondering what is wrong with them, or try to help them, but let they sail their own way away from you.
See if you can help your little sister out of there. Then cut contact with your mother and step-dad. Why did your fiance go on vacation with them? You need to explain this, as it appears you are holding some information back. If you do not have other ties to your mother, cut her out of your life.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 July 2011): I'm living in england and i'm not sure of the way things work medically where you are, but in england it would be best to go and talk to their doctor as a first step, explaining the types of things she's done and how she behaves, they can't really discuss another patient but can listen to your concerns about them. It sounds as though she has a form of mental illness although you can't really self diagnose something like that. Then, hopefully a doctor could decide how to deal with the situation, whether its best to intervene or perhaps just best for you to steer clear of your family.
It's very hard to deal with someone who'se mentally ill and aggressive with it.
I lived with my aggressive husband who had bi-polar for many years. I finally got away after 18 years of marriage and he was diagnosed after I left him. He's now on medication and sees a psyciatrist fairly regularly, and his moods are seemingly balanced.
You seem pretty well balanced in the way you come across and i'm glad you've left your childhood behind. I think as time goes by, you'll grow into your new life, mature and be able to have a mature relationship with your family but on your terms, even though you will have to keep them at arms length for your own good.
You could try and talk to other people in your family or family friends who you feel you could trust as this is something very difficult for a daughter of your age or any age to deal with in a parent. Sometimes, the best course of action is to remove yourself and do nothing except get advice and perhaps counselling for yourself. Do try to keep in contact with your sister though, she may well need you to help her escape one day too!
It's sad but if that's how she is then you have to accept you can't change her or force your mum to take medication or get psyciatric help. At the end of the day, unless she's a danger to herself, your sister, or society in general then there's nothing you can do unless she decides that she needs help.
Enjoy your new life, your freedom and try to be there for you sister if she ever wants to escape to.
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male
reader, C. Grant  +, writes (19 July 2011):
 There's nothing you can do to make your mother get help. At best her husband might be able to, but it sounds like he's on her side, so that's not going to happen.
You can help your sister. If you think that your sister might end up being subjected to the same sort of treatment you got, you should alert child services in the Florida city they live in. They will have to investigate a complaint. If the authorities find that kind of dysfunctional home, your mother will risk losing her daughter if she doesn't get help. Taking that step will, of course, seriously affect your relationship with them -- for example, to the extent your sister has been convinced that you're evil, it will confirm it in her eyes, and you might not see her again for years. So think carefully before you intervene.
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 July 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI don't live in Florida where she is,I live in NJ my fiance like i said rescued me from them.How would I get her help?
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female
reader, VSAddict  +, writes (19 July 2011):
 She definitely needs mental help. Get her to go to a counselor or get someone she likes to get her to go. What she's doing is definitely not normal. It's abuse and it's sad that your stepfather went along with it because he had to have known. She sounds like she has extreme anger issues. Get her help so she can better herself and not put your sister through the same thing you did. I don't think you should've took them out of jail. She would've gotten mental help and your sister would be out of danger. But get her help and don't wait!
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