A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Brother- Sister situationMy boyfriend (27 years old)and his sister (24 years) have a relation that makes me very uncomfortable because-1. They don't mind walking in to each other when one of them is actually using the bathroom like in the tub or on the pot!2. Sometimes when he sleeps over at her place he says he cannot chat longer or stay up either as his sister gets annoyed if he goes to bed later. They share the same bed. I don't have a brother so I don't know if this is normal. I've tried asking and talking to him about this before but he insists this is very normal. Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 April 2013): Sleeping together may be alright but very open to temptation.
This caused my sex relationship with my elder sister over the years. I am widowed and she is single, these perhaps contributed to the temptation. No regrets after all, because we are consenting adults.
In your case, I suspect that something is going on discreetly. Having sexual relationship with a sibling is not uncommon.
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 May 2010): Have you actually talked to your boyfriend and asked him if his sister has ever made any kind of sexual move on him, or if they have any sexual history between them? Like, I have read posts from girls who said they learned how to give handjobs and blowjobs by practicing on their brother, or asking their brother to teach them how to give handjobs and blowjobs.
Has your BF ever said that his sister sleeps naked in the bed with him? I have to believe that if she does, seeing a naked female body next to him in bed would make him sexually aroused. I think you should talk to him about this whole situation and get the truth. Then post back here to let us know what he said.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 May 2010): Yes I find that weird. My boyfriend's sister always insists that they sleep in the same bed. She walkes around naked in front of him and he will tell her to knock it off but she just laughs and keeps on at it. She is 19 he is 21. I am 21 and my little brother is 15, if perhaps we were on a family vacation and there was only one bed to sleep in we would share the bed and I woudln't think that is weird at all but if I ever walked around naked in front of him he would punch me in the face.
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female
reader, BunnyTee  +, writes (3 May 2010):
 Some boundaries are NOT meant to be "blurred" regardless of viewpoints like 'single gal's. There's a term for that so-called "blurring" It's called incest. Which is usually illegal in most civilized cultures. Something's wrong here, sweetie. There's not supposed to be three of you in your relationship, is there? So what if you come off as the jealous type? What's it matter among someone who is probably boffing his own sister??
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 May 2010): It is not right whatever the reasons, blood or not, no matter how they have been raised, it is plain weird. No wonder there is so much incest and abuse in this world! Tell him it must stop or you are off.
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 May 2010): I think this is very unusual, that at their age, they would sleep in the same bed with each other. Also, to "single gal" what kind of things do you do with your brother that others would find unusual. As a man, I don't see how the poster's BF could sleep in the same bed with his sister and not at least think about trying something sexual with her. I suspect there is, or was, some kind of sexual history between this young man and his sister, especially if they have no problem seeing each other naked at that age.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (2 May 2010): Regarding the original poster, the reason she's annoyed if he doesn't go to sleep with her is because otherwise he would wake her up. She probably has one bed.
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female
reader, BunnyTee +, writes (30 April 2010):
They say "blood is thicker than water" but damn! This sounds close but a little too close in my book. I've heard of families wherein nudity is a familial norm..dad shows up at breakfast in the buff and 16 yro daughter does the same. A little too close for normal, I think. SHARES THE SAME BED??? That is too TOO. They also say "where there's smoke, there's fire" Get it on down the road, sweetie, I'm afraid your Bf and his sister are far too close for anyone's good. Did your BF happen to mention that he and sis are a package deal? Are you CERTAIN this is his sister?
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reader, single gal  +, writes (29 April 2010):
i have a brother and we are quite close.
let me shed some light, siblings especially if they grew up really close, the boundaries blur.
i do a lot of things with my brother that most people would see as unusual.
we dont see each other as man and woman, but as part of me. but if u feel unconfortable talk to him about him.
he doesnt see it. but dont try and come off as a jealous girlfriend it may end badly. remember they are blood
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female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (28 April 2010):
 What is normal to them maybe abnormal to others.
There are reasons for their way of life and one should really understand their backgrounds and culture before passing judgments on them.
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 April 2010): A man regularly gets an uncontrolable erection early in the morning, and that's the time both would succumb to mother nature, whether it's brother-sister or any other close relationship.
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reader, CindyCares  +, writes (28 April 2010):
 It may not be abnormal in the sense of commiting incest because you have no elements enough to suspect that.
but it's abnormal in the sense they totally lack a healthy sense of boundaries.
Sorry but I don't understand when people say : well it's a matter of how you have been grown up.
Childhood is childhood ,then things must change. When my son was a toddler he would follow me in the bathroom and pass me the toilet paper. Now that he's a young man- he would not dream of doing anything similar. I can't see why brother and sister would be different from parent and child.
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 April 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you everybody for your responses. I really appreciate every response. Particularly some that have given me a fresh perspective. Yes, he does say that this is how they've grown up. But it still is a little hard to understand these habits. Maybe, the three of us could spend some time together for me to see what kind of a bond they share and then I wouldn't feel so uncomfortable. This seems to be the best thing I can do for now.Once again, thank you everybody.
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 April 2010): Me and my brother are like that - if one of us is in the shower and the other needs to wash their hands then we'll walk in, wash and have a chat. It's just normal to us because we grew up so close and grew up walking in on each other. Coincidentally I'm 24 and he's 27. I wouldn't care about sharing a bed with him too. It's a special bond, hard to understand if you've never had it, but definitely no competition for his girlfriend!
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 April 2010): I have an older brother and a younger brother and would sleep on the floor before sharing a bed with them.... thats just weird!
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reader, chigirl  +, writes (28 April 2010):
 I hope that is a big bed and they only share because they have no other beds?
This doesn't sound shocking though. Unusual among grown-ups, but perhaps not so unusual between close siblings. They probably view each other as friends and not woman and man. Girls many times go to the bathroom with their girlfriends, and that isn't making anyone speculate.
I agree it is a bit weird, but hey, it's how they choose to do it. What they do amongst each other is entirely up to them, and I think that as long as your boyfriend doesn't act this way among other grown ups there isn't a problem.
For your reference there are many brothers and sisters or siblings in general that are this close. There are also many who hate each other and don't even talk to each other, and then theres a good bunch of in-betweens. A good relationship with siblings is a blessing, really, both for the siblings themselves and the parents.
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 April 2010): well me and my siblings were like this...Until we hit puberty
after that it is just wrong, no matter where you come from or what your religion is.
cos once u hit puberty, u become a animal, ur hormones are everywhere and you dont know whats right and once wrong.
so after puberty, them type of seperations are necessary.
I think its abnormal
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reader, ManAfterChrist +, writes (28 April 2010):
 Eh I sleep with friends who are girls all the time without anything sexual going on. And it's nice to go to bed at the same time, it's comforting. Most likely, he's always been a protective big brother and they built a very trusting relationship. If you asked him and he insists it is normal, assume he isn't lying. Personally, I don't think you have anything to worry about.
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reader, benny boy +, writes (27 April 2010):
Yes that is strange (in my opinion). You could drop in to a conversation something like 'why dont we try setting your sister up with one of my friends', just to see what his reaction is, if your a good judge of reactions and can sense when someone feels uncumfortable/ if his reaction is like 'no I dont like the idea of that' then this could work and you could be close to getting your answer....
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reader, PeanutButter +, writes (27 April 2010):
 Well, it really depends on the people, their background, their parentage and their lifestyle/beliefs.
While it is not necessarily seen as "appropriate" behaviour, it is not necessarily inappropriate behaviour either.
Some sisters and brothers share a very strong bond and sharing a bed isn't seen as a big deal. Being comfortable with one another is a lot different than jumping to the conclusion of an incestuous relationship.
The issue with him not staying up later could be that she wants to share some talk time with him, a little jealousy issue, perhaps? Again, not necessarily an issue of incest.
I have a friends who sleep in bed with one another on occasion and have no sexual relationship. They are simply comfortable enough to sleep in the same space.
If you are concerned about the relationship that they have, perhaps you should ask yourself whether you are searching for signs because you may be a little jealous of their closeness, which is most likely all that it is.
You could talk to him about it again, but it seems that you have bought it up before. There is no real easy way to ask about such a relationship either because if you ask him and he IS having an incestuous relationship, he is hardly going to admit it. If he DID admit to it, you would have an answer you wouldn't like and your relationship would be over. The other side of it is, if he ISN'T having an inappropriate relationship with her then you might rock the boat a little by bringing it up again and thus damaging the relationship regardless.
Try to put your mid at ease for the most part. They are more than likely just close. If you still continue to have a nagging feeling about it though, you may well need to put it out in the open to save yourself from going crazy thinking about it.
I really hope you find the answers you seek.
xx
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 April 2010): Being close is one thing but i think its odd to walk into the bathroom and regularly share the same bed.
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reader, raiders +, writes (27 April 2010):
 Sharing the same bed and they are 27 and 24 now that is weird, They could be close because siblings do have a strong connection and are very close to each other, but this is a little too strange. Try asking him what he thinks about incest, without putting him in the light to see what his answer might be.
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reader, Brunel  +, writes (27 April 2010):
Sounds very strange to me?
Move on!
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 April 2010): All families are different, but the idea of a brother and sister sleeping the same bed is weird (although girls have told me that they'd freely sleep in the same bed as their brothers in the past). But yep, it's odd. Really odd.
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