A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I am not sure if a trainer at my group fitness class is flirting with me. He calls me out several times teasing me in front of the class about my technique. One class it was so bad and obvious I guess, that a couple of the guys in the class felt bad for me and told me they did because he picked on me so much. One time he was doing a one time personal training with a female client and he kept looking over at the group class making comments about my technique again. I was ignoring him for awhile because it made me feel so embarrassed and I am the type that likes to do my own thing and just distress during my workouts. He has texted me before about doing a complimentary one on one training. He likes to sneak up behind me too while I am getting ready for class and appear out of nowhere.
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flirt, teasing, text Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Honeypie  + ♥, writes (1 January 2016):
 Ir since you have his number ( he texted you) maybe text him and tell him to dial it down, that you don't really appreciate being used as his "example".
A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (1 January 2016):
Sorry OP didn't see that you BOTH are married, so yea you should BOTH be off limits.
He may very well think YOU are a "safe" option to flirt and banter with (with you being married) but he obviously doesn't seem to understand the difference between banter and just being an idiot.
And I get it, I wouldn't want to leave when you have a whole year membership, so... the option is to NOT take HIS classes. Which is the option I'd choose.
If he does end up teaching class and he tries to pick on you or whatever it really is he is doing just cut him off. Tell him; "that's enough, we aren't here to criticize me, maybe you should focus on teaching".
Could be this dude needs a little sensitivity lesson in how to treat PAYING clients.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 December 2015): Wow, Honey pie, I am the OP and appreciate your response but I think you have it backwards! I AM MARRIED and off limits. I never pursued him. Period. I don't feel like giving up a gym membership I paid for a whole year. Just don't want to feel harassed when the reason I go to the gym is to relax and blow off steam. I don't want to get anyone fired.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 December 2015): No, I don't think your group fitness instructor is interested in you. Perhaps your ego likes to think so.
You could be making up scenarios in your own head and completely misinterpreting his actions.
My boyfriend is a group fitness instructor and I am as well. We alll have different personalities and ways of leading our class and we all interact with our participants. Some of us are funny and some of us pick on you. Perhaps over and over. We see that you are not offended by it. And if you are, just come to us to let us know it bothers you we will stop.
Your instructor is performing in front of a class. Don't forget that. Usually we are very outgoing and entertaining people. He may forget that he takes his "act" too far sometimes. Nothing to do with you. It could be anybody.
My boyfriend made it clear he was interested by the heavy eye contact in class. He never teased me. He realized that would be unprofessional. But you could say he eye f*cked me. You can't be any clearer than that. And we exchanged back and forth messages out of class that eventually led to our first date.
If this man was escalating the advances such as excessive staring and going out of his way to take your relationship out of the classroom then you can bet he is interested. But he is not. And has not given you any real indication he is interested beyond you being a participant in his class.
Instructors are supposed to be friendly and they are supposed to help you with your technique. Obviously you have been doing it wrong. It's his job to correct you and show you the proper technique. Clearly you kept doing it wrong for him to continue pointing it out to you.
Free sessions are also just a way to boost their business.
So many clients often make the mistake the instructor is interested in them by reading into their actions way too much.
If he hasn't tried to move the relationship out of the classroom then he is not interested.
Perhaps you are the one who has made things awkward by creating some fictitious script for your interactions. My BF has girls thinking he is interested when he isn't. It's his job to be interested in you when you are in his class only. For professional reasons. I have had guys think I like them because I am friendly to them and smile at them and help them improve. Well it's my job to do that! So this thing happens all the time. Your interpretation is not at all unique.
Leave the guy alone. Do your workout. If you don't like his style then find another class with another instructor or go to another gym.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (31 December 2015):
I'd switch classes, personally. Or gym.
Whether he is interested or not, I wouldn't really care or worry about - because what he is, is a rude dunce. He might think he is OH SO charming, but really he is putting you down in hopes that if he adds a little flatter here and there you will think he hung the moon.
HE is married and thus off limits.
And he is an asshat. Nothing charming about his behavior.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 December 2015): Thanks elise96! I am the OP. Hope it goes okay too. I am always friendly and I am on the shy and quiet side. Just trying to act "normal" through this whatever it is. I do remember when guys were in grade school and they would tease you if they wanted to get your attention etc. I guess some boys never grow up! ;-) It was just so embarrassing because everyone started to notice. I already paid up for a membership for the year. I don't think I would report him. Just hoping it all goes away. I didn't tell my hubby because I didn't want him to be concerned if it was nothing.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 December 2015): Thanks for your sage response, Been there Now over it. I am the OP. I would try to avoid classes he taught but the gym never listed instructors' names on the scheduled times. It was playing rolling a die every workout. I think now he has swung 180 degrees and is ignoring me completely. Better I guess but awkward. Feel tension. I really like the exercise classes. So, it is a shame. Sad is that he is married and knows I am married too. At first I thought he was just doing it to drum up personal training business. Have to keep things professional!
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A
female
reader, ellsie96 +, writes (31 December 2015):
 Yes he is interested in you. The approach he is taking, however, to show his interest, is far from desirable. He's being a bit of an idiot, you know the old "if a boy is mean to you he likes you" thing you heard when you were little and a boy teased you at school. He seems immature and actually a little mean so if you're interested, think hard about his character before getting involved.I know some would say he shouldn't have shown an interest because he was at his place of work and it was unprofessional but I know if I was at work and I really liked someone I would want to show them, despite what the rules were. However I am younger than some of the other people on this site so maybe that is why I share the same view as this guy, who I did say seemed immature.It's up to you what you want to do - you could find a new gym, you could call him up on embarrassing you or you could show some interest back, you know, flirty smiles or tease him back about HIS technique. Hope it all goes okay :)
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A
male
reader, Been there Now over it +, writes (31 December 2015):
All this attention is proof that your trainer is definitely interested in you. I hope you can take that as good news as the bad news is this: He is a boob for taking this approach. If he was even a second-class guy, he would maintain a professional relationship with you in front of the class and connect with you in private, even though that is almost certainly against his contract with the gym. A first-class guy would respect you and the gym, and not go there at all.If you wanted to be a real bitch you'd report him to gym management and he could get fired. You may just want to let him know that you are shy when it comes to being made an example of in class and you'd prefer he not do so. Other than that, you can live with it or stop going to his classes.
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